All Comments on 'Neela's Presentation - Day 03'

This story is unique because everyone is against the girl. But it fails to impress in some ways. We don't get to hear Neela talk, her thoughts in her words are absent. There is difference in the details in each episode but the story is getting monotonous. The description of the sexual acts must be more elaborate. But I am still hooked, hoping for better episodes to come.

Thank you so much for writing such a specific feedback. It has given me pointers to work on in future.

I will keep your suggestions in mind while writing my future stories and Hope that you enjoy them.

I like the semi consensual nonconsensual aspect. She wants to be queen

She doesnt want to be fondled. To be queen she has to be fondled. It's good in that sense. But my one major critic would be to lose the minutes. If he's fondling her. Dont say for 10 minutes because that tells me it's a long time but I have to make up what happen because you didn't. Instead say, longer than needed, or necessary, or appropriate. To get across the point. By adding in minutes stops the natural storytelling and tells the reader to start imagining things in real minutes and if its humiliation a minute can feel like an hour but the reader cant process that. The storyteller has to create that. . Hope this was helpful. The main this is I really like this idea. Keel going. Please. Lose the minutes? If you're not sure how I am happy to help.

There's a lot of critiques, do your thing. Other people can paint their own pictures. This is your art. I'm enjoying it