All Comments on 'Nicole visits club Carnal Desire'

No bad, but I think the action is too much, at different points...I think a woman would get tired of all that thrusting, maybe a gentle pussy licking and then build up.....

Great concept, the spelling and grammar are a bit hit and miss which interrupted the flow of the story. You probably would benefit from an editor/ proof reader. Failing that try reading it aloud to yourself before submitting it for publication.

More Tags would be helpful, there was a mix up with the description of the gems in the collars, initially you said Shannon was wearing a black collar with a black gem. That changed in the next paragraph to her wearing a green gem which indicates *free use*.

Whilst the collar:gem explanation was useful it seemed redundant because at the start of the story Nicole’s exploits at the club were described as a regular occurrence, so surely she would already know about the colour coded collars?

Thanks for sharing

Tess (uk)

Dr beulahthemick; Just love it, the sort of club that should be mandatory in every town in the country.