All Comments on 'Night Dunes in the Dark'

What a load of CRAP.

This is not a story, it is just a tease. Your words are clear and smoothly crafted. But we do not know a single thing about them. Nothing. Would like to see some more from you, maybe we can learn if this is a guy and his mother traveling with a hitchhiking Jesuit, or perhaps it is the US President and one of his service guards ravishing the lovely Vice President. It would make a difference.

Lots of spelling errors and I had to read it several times. You had her in the back seat stroking the guy yet had to reach into the back seat to get a beer? I guess that means the cooler was in the space in a jeep behind the back seat. And stop the cat rather than stop the car...

Also, I am guessing that was his wife and not a girlfriend otherwise put it in erotic couples.

The story is too choppy, the spelling is awful, and what is the plot? It is not a good story in my opinion.

Sorry, but this one just doesn't work. Along with all other problems you used 2nd person POV--an awful choice for any but a highly experienced professional writer. Also, who the crap is He, or She, or even You for that matter. Nope bad choices all around. Two ** for making the effort.

Without a doubt, kranzyoktobyr has to be among the worst writers currently vomiting out verbiage! AT LEAST LEARN TO SPELL!!!

Second-person writing is like empty carbohydrates. Worked back in the days of USENET, but it hasn't worn well.

Please ask mom to lock that fucking closet door and shut off your internet connection.

If at this point you dont recognize how bad you are, it would seem nothing will drive that point home to you.

Hardly a story. About a couple of long paragraphs. And you can't spell. Bad.

Worst than a cheap fuck is drunk and drugged people fucking....1`

Some really strange stuff.