Nudism and Sex

I recently received a note from a reader that got me thinking about the relationship between nudism and sex in my stories.

I've made no secret of the fact that I'm a nudist myself, and am aware of the fact that nudism and sexual desire have no direct relationship in true nudism. The reason that our culture makes that association is that the only time most of us are naked in a social situation is when we're having sex. And since sex sells products, people are going to use sexual situations to sell their stuff, and many of those sexual situations involve some degree of nudity. A naked or near-naked woman is usually telegraphing the message that "I want to be fucked! See how ready I am for it?" They're flirting with the camera to make men buy the car or the after-shave or whatever the sponsor is selling.

Nudists, on the other hand, say that nudity is a common and normal way of experiencing life and mingling socially with other people. There is no more of a sexual component in a nude environment than there is in a clothed one. We just like to see each other as we really are, devoid of the clothing that we normally use to keep ourselves warm, hide our bodies' shape or imperfections, or proclaim our social status.

But this reader took me to task for using nudism as a fetish, by linking it with sexual activity. He claimed that this proximity made a hypocrite out of me; on the one hand, I was associating with a group that frowned on the linkage of nudity and sex, while on the other hand, I had people taking off their clothes and having sex all the time, and often not bothering to put their clothes back on afterwards, just so they could see other people naked or be seen naked by other people. Therefore, there was not only sexual intercourse, but voyeurism and exhibitionism as well.

Am I a hypocrite? Well, he was right about my characters getting nude and fucking. In my defense, I have to point out that when people fuck, they usually like to do it naked. And in an erotic story, there are going to be people who like to fuck and be fucked. That's the nature of the beast. In fact, nudity is considered a "fetish" on many web sites devoted to erotica.

I should also point out that in many of these stories, the setting is a situation where nude arousal in the form of exhibitionism and voyeurism is to be expected as part of the story's activity. These settings may include masturbation parlors, sex academies, anything-goes nude beaches, orgies, and sex-play parties. It's only natural that people shed their clothes, so that they can give each other a maximal amount of eye candy. In these situations, the participants intend to give each other sexual thrills, which is most emphatically not the intention of most of the people who frequent nude beaches or resorts or who engage in the social nudism practiced by non-landed clubs. That's a fundamental difference I can't stress enough.

For another thing, I often have my characters staying nude after their orgasms, just socializing and grooving on how great it is to be naked, especially with other people. Once their lusts have been satisfied, people can appreciate each other's nudity in an entirely different way, as an offer for an intimacy that's more than sexual. They begin to see each other as more than receptacles for their lusts, but as people just like themselves. In my stories, you'll see them do things together - eat meals, build a deck, play music, talk about things they've read or seen - that people ordinarily do when they're socializing in non-sexual ways. But they do it naked and, if arousal is there, it's far in the background, just as it would be in a "textile" environment.

And sometimes I have nude people just enjoying being nude. But when they start feeling horny and somebody else is, too, and nobody is going to be offended by public displays of affection, they won't resist those urges. It's exactly the same as if they were attracted to each other in a public place like a beach or a mall. And if they want to take it further, they get a room, as they say. (That is, of course, unless they're in a situation where public fucking is sanctioned and encouraged.) They don't stop being sexual creatures just because they're naked. Of course, they wouldn't hit up strangers or make improper suggestions, but if they're both in the mood, they don't let their nudity stop them.

Another common theme with my stories is that first, all the sex is consensual and, second, it's almost always the women who initiate it. Part of that is just an old horndog's wish that all women would be as hot and ready for sex as the female characters in an erotic story are. I admit that. But it's also that my characters are repudiating a society where men force their attentions on women by hitting on them when they don't want to be hit on, and even raping them when they think they can get away with it. That misogynistic attitude really has been poisoning the prospects for sexual relationships between men and women, or in fact for any sort of relationships.

What does this have to do with nudism? Plenty! One of the problems with the true-life nudist community, as it's currently practiced, is that women are far less comfortable with nudity than men are. In the real world, women complain about the single man who's there for no other reason than to hit on them or stare at them. They feel, with some justification, that men regard them as sex objects or as targets for pickups. And that goes double, or triple, when a woman is in an environment where she has chosen not to wear clothes, especially if she's unaccompanied. Throw into that the rare, but by no means unknown, circumstance of a stranger staring at her while fondling his erection, and who can blame her for feeling threatened?

The result is that these women simply don't go to as many nudist functions and locations as men do, unless they're accompanied by a man who can offer them some shelter against being propositioned. And this means that club and resort owners feel that if they want a more equal balance of the sexes, they have to take measures to discourage single men and encourage women, sometimes with outright bans on single men, sometimes with low quotas for single men and sometimes with ridiculously higher admission fees for single men... sometimes as much as six times higher, or so I've heard. So a bunch of male assholes are making it almost impossible for a truly equal nudist society, with a level playing field for nude socialization, to exist.

The only cure I can see for this is to train men not to do the sort of moronic behavior that turns off women. In my admittedly fantastic world, this happens when men turn over the keys to the women when it comes to establishing sexual liaisons, and letting them approach men when they feel comfortable doing so, instead of the men approaching the women. In my stories, male harassment simply doesn't happen. The men are gentlemen, and only display their arousal when it's expected of them. They ask permission to be intimate, and don't take it personally when they're refused. As a consequence, women feel comfortable being naked in front of men.

And in my stories, the men are initiated into sex by older, stronger women who tell them that there's no room for dishonesty or misogyny in their behavior. If the guys want to keep having sex, they're told what the rules are going to be, and how they're expected to abide by those rules if they're going to get more pussy.

"That's not the way it works in this world," you may say. "A guy who waits for that kind of woman is probably never going to get laid. Women just aren't that horny." In this world, that's true. But in my world, they're far more ready to have sex, because they feel that they're in control. They can be just as horny as the guys are, and as ready for fucking as the guys are, because they know that they're not paying for their orgasms with a decrease in their power or their self-respect. (And you'll note that in most of my stories, the women keep themselves from becoming pregnant unless they want to be, and are careful not to catch venereal diseases. So those concerns don't apply.)

Unrealistic? Maybe, but not too unrealistic. And one of the perks of writing erotic fiction is we can craft the sort of world we want to live in, and maybe influence others to take a part in making that world a reality. Until then, I'll just live in the fantasy world I create in my stories. There'll be a lot of sex, because people like to fuck, and there'll be a lot of nudity, because people are there for the purpose of sexual stimulation, which includes people fucking as well as getting off on seeing other people naked and being seen naked themselves. And everybody feels comfortable about their nudity, even when the sex is over, because they see it as something positive for its own sake.

Welcome to my world! In our fantasy, it can be your world, too. And if we were all a little bit more sensible about sex and nudity, it could be everybody's world by and by.