All Comments on 'Oles'

Not for me.

We've had many stories here in Lit.

about people deciding what's best for someone,

behind his back.

Some of the stories are very good.

This story is not among them.

It doesn't matter how heavily you try to sugercoat it,

it's still disrespect.

Here there were a lot of people showing that

and that's where fiction steps in.

Thankfully we don't see this scale of disrespect

in real live.

On personal level, that is.

We sure do see it in governments.

I dislike disrespect.

"Dislike" is what two stars are called here.

So 2 out of 5 from me.

What a load of bulsh...

"A story about a man that his wife is trying to get pregnant." - WTF?! A wife is trying to get her man pregnant? Stop the presses! Call the National Enquirer!!

Other than that, it was a great story.

Doesn’t do it for me. They were all deceitful and stole his dignity then to atone they bribe away his integrity. Strange way of showing their “love”. His forgiveness just becomes one more good deed that goes punished as he’s condemned to live the rest of his life with duplicitous “friends”.

Poorly executed in my opinion. You start out the story with her having multiple orgasms but they use a old school turkey baster. This is as clinical as it gets with a Doctor inserting a cold metal turkey baster and squirting the contents. He doesn't have to or wouldn't use it to masturbate her to climax.

Second huge issue is trying to pass the child off as her husbands. That is so wrong it deserves him leaving as he did. Why not just talk to the husband about this idea and see what he says? He may rather be childless than raise another mans child.

I quite enjoyed it. Thanks for writing for free. However, I agree with anonymous below. Just because you don't write doesn't mean you aren't allowed to have an opinion although I do agree there is no need to be totally disrespectful to any author. If you don't like something move along to something more to your taste. One comment is that I think your short description should read something like - wife wants to get pregnant for her husband. Keep writing, you can't please all the people all of the time.

This has GOT to be good.

I don’t think that you waited until the end to take this comedy of errors off the rails. I did “suite” up in my football suit and play the game, but writing is beyond my abilities. Fortunately, for LW readers, I have recognized that problem and not insulted anyone’s intelligence by trying. Unfortunately, lax standards in LW allow too many people, with even less talent than mine, to post story after story. Like the other guy said, I don’t have to be an Olympic diver to recognize a face plant when I see one. Stop demeaning your readers, and work on improving as a writer. That will take care of the negative reaction.

Not too bad for a second story, O-man. You had a few problems but nothing that can’t be fixed. When I first started writing some writers helped me and I have tried to help others over the years. I will offer a few helpful comments and assure you they are worth at least what they cost you. The first involves proper punctuation of dialogue.

Comment #1 Only what the character says goes in quotes. Example from your story:

("Martha still breathing heavy, "oh honey look at you. It looks like it is about to explode. Do you want a blow job or my ass?")

Try this:

“Oh Honey, look at you; it looks like your cock is about to explode. Do you want a blow job or would you rather have my ass?” Martha said, breathing like she’d just ran a three minute mile.

#2 After you finish always try to cut out ten to twenty per-cent of your words. It greatly improves the end product.

#3 Research all ideas you are not one hundred percent sure of. Example—your share cropper passage—and I realize very few readers will catch the problem here, but your explanation of share cropping is wrong. The way it really worked was, the landowner supplied the land, the seed, the fertilizer, and sometimes the equipment and mules to work the land. Some sharecroppers had their own mules and part or most of the equipment. When needed, the sharecropper could go to the landowner throughout the year for money for food and other necessities. When the crops were sold the money was split 50-50, but the landholder would immediately collect the money he’d advanced during the year. There was no interest involved. (I have personal knowledge of this system.)

I gave you a 4. It shows a knack for storytelling. Thanks for the read. CD

If you don't like the play, "SUITE" up? Which means you're going to rent a suite at a hotel for some reason. On the other hand if you "suit" up you're getting reading to go somewhere with your clothes on. And your attempt at story telling went downhill from there.

1 star

Literally one of the dumbest, ridiculous POS stories I have read.

She was a slut, he was a f-ing moron and no one should read this or write one like this crap again.

A very good story...Indeed. But you must accept that people who don't write, can read and discern what is good or bad...4*

Complete bullshit

ridiculous. The turkey baster orgasms were absurd. The failure to discuss the plan with her husband, who must have known he was sterile, was absurd. The kidnapping was both absurd and a crime. The scene with the spotlight at the end was mawkish and absurd. And, taking back the wife who intended to deceive him into raising a bastard child was absurd.

Other than that, the story was just swell.

But you seem to be woefully uninformed about blue collar work: "Back in those times a good trade was almost as good as a college degree to support a family."

Nothing could be further from the truth, not then, and especially not now. I got the college degree, I had the white collar profession and owned my own real estate business. I never made as much money, nor had as much fun, until I quit real estate, went back to a vocational school for two years, and went into a specialized field of cryogenic refrigeration. I became the technical specialist for that line of equipment. Guess who's job never got shipped to China? But the drafting and design engineers, most of their work got transferred to India. You can do desk or computer work from almost anywhere.

But HVAC, electrical, plumbing, carpentry, etc. you can't export those jobs. I heard that the Amish are running out of farm land to buy for their children, so a number of them have entered the blue collar trades. To spread the business around within their community they have a standing agreement that none of them will make more than $500,000 a year. That is correct, a half million dollars. When they reach that income they start referring the work out to others in the community who have not yet met their quota. Supposedly over 25% of them make that annually.

Sound like bullshit? When I retired the hourly rate for my specialty was $215/hour; and we'll get to you in a few days.

College is fine, if you can't do anything better. If you have any interest and knack for the mechanical and building trades you are a fool not to investigate the potential. Last I heard there were over 20,000 jobs a year going unfilled, just in HVAC/Refrigeration. With modern tools, equipment, and safety standards it is not back breaking, and it is not dangerous if you have common sense. If not, go sit at a desk and suck the mid-level manager's dick for job security. Let me know how satisfying and enriching that "profession" is.

Met one woman technician who had been the department secretary for a maintenance department in a large pharmaceutical company. Her job included distributing the pay checks. When she saw how much money the techs were making she quit her job and went to tech school. She now works in the same department at three times the salary doing HVAC work.

If Oles was poor it wasn't for lack of skill or training. If you don't invest your assets you don't get much return. Sounds like while he had great ideas how to help everyone else live their lives better, he was clueless how to help himself. I'm sure he made a very successful politician. At least his wife knew how to get the job done. And it wasn't with a turkey baster.

Again, thanks for the effort.

...was a saint who spent a lot of time in the hospital or jail every time he did a good deed. Poor him he even had to put up with his wife being fucked by many guys. It was a weird story. I did not like it but I will give you ***

Neat twist, original, well done.

Your grammatical and spelling errors were horrible.

I liked how you wrote, more than I was offput by your errors.

I didn't care for it. Considering what he did for everybody; I think the cost was too high. He had absolutely no say in his wife getting pregnant. Considering that he was kidnapped by law enforcement so that they could tell him the story, and that the pastor and doctor were in on it - I think he had 2 choices: 1 accept being the mayor only on the condition that he and Martha are divorced and he is not listed as the father on the birth certificate - (sorry, but it is one thing to marry a lady that already has kids and willing accept being a step-father and it is something completely different finding out your wife got pregnant by someone else without your knowledge or consent). Option 2 is to run away again - if they let him. Option 3 is suicide - which in this case I think is the best option. Everybody had a much better life because of him and he got the short stick as they say - and now they want to make him the mayor at the expense of his wife having someone else's kid? In my mind the marriage is over (due to the trust issue) and probably every friendship he has in town is toast too. I'd wait my time - a few days, walk into a meadow or tall grass friend or maybe to a river and end my life. I'd leave a note saying that after all I gave, they took the one thing that meant more than anything - my marriage. I could trust my wife or anyone in town ever again and since all they would do is bring me back if I ran away I'm going to end it here and now. I'll be waiting for all you miserable interfering do gooders in Hell.

So I wonder where these 12 men left their donations? I am sure back in those days the refrigeration was not very good. I am pretty sure that refrigeration is pretty important to saving mens donations of there love. Please, I gave it 2 stars 1 for just writing a story and 1 for a storyline that I have never read about before.

You are a terrible story teller and this was so awful. What kind of nonsense was this garbage.

If you had shown how it was the women who used the turkey baster on her and brought her to orgasm, after they made their own husband come and not the men actually having intercourse with his wife it would have made more sense. Do a re-write.

Thank you for writing this.

I’d divorce the slut. No way would I agree to raise a child conceived that way behind my back.

Omega Guy. The sentence you chose to describe your tale has a wife who is trying to get a guy preggers. Fat Chance! It worked in deciding me about wasting any more* time reading any of your stories.

* but to waste it instead on pleading for you to learn how to write tales which are comprehensible.

unread, thus unrated!

But what almost everyone is missing is that it was done FOR him, not TO him. It was an act of love not deceit. Without the justifications of love from all affected by Oles actions, I too would say burn the bitch. But it was a well intentioned, if not misguided, attempt to make him happy. 5 Stars from a BTB'er.

What a wonderful story; you had me in tears. Thank you

She was a slut and he was a cuckold.

Alas the story thou weird doesn't run true, you implied he invented the vibrator, if that is true why is it patented back in the 1880s by a physician Dr J Mortimer Granville. He would have adapted it but never invented it. Please when referring to inventions credit is paid to those that really did make them

Wow! What a great tale! Well done, heartwarming.

Vibrators were invented by doctors in Victorian England to cure women of "hysteria" (sexual frustration) my essentially giving them a very powerful orgasm. Yes, doctors were PAID to make their patients cum.

Martha deceived the poor CUCK!!!

Kidding right , she's a slut and he's a cock, How does F-ing his wife make it his life better.? His genetic code needs to be exploit not her's she did nothing more than whore her-self out for some lamb excuse.( she has a very bad moral code gene ) He would never do that to her if she where baron , do you think that he would deem it proper and prudent to screw other women "to impregnate them " for the family ,! makes more sense than her screwing a bunch of men . ? think , what a stupid idea and plot for a story . It should have been turned around.180#...How about giving one of there children up for him to raise with his value structure, . makes more sense than having him raise a bastard child.

Can’t let facts get in the way of a good story.

Well done

Even though I did give this story a good score, I'm perplexed. Three things in particular jumped out at me when I read it:

/ Oles was not given the opportunity to decide for himself whether or not he wished to become a father that way. IMHO he should have. They all conspired to deceive him that way sucks, particularly that his wife chose to betray his trust a.

/ Next, Why 12 men? A reference to the 12 apostles? Couldn't the doctor & wife picked the best candidate? Or do blind selection - you know draw cum out of a hat & use it.

/ Then there's this quote: Martha talking, "thank you so much for getting those 12 men to get me pregnant. Carrie I hate to admit it, but I enjoyed it and had great orgasms every time we all got together. I love Oles very much and if he finds out that I deceived him, he will kill me. All 12 of his friends have to keep their promise to keep it a secret. They swore to the preacher and to God." - They ALL got together? 12 men & 12 wives & the doctor... 25 people there shoving the turkey baster up her snatch? AND she enjoyed it - had orgasms !! Isn't that a private moment between a man and wife?

I know the author was deliberately misleading we readers, causing us to be sure, just like Oles was that she had cheated. The confession to Oles at the end reminded me of an old Star Trek episode - the spot light coming on & disembodied voices talking, but I digress.

Somebody (or maybe everybody) that was NOT her husband was shoving a device full of sperm in and out of her cunt, without his knowledge or permission & she liked it.

/ Sounds like cheating to me.

Why is the stupidity of writers going up these days?

I get it your witless wonders and your mentally ill cuckvision world make you hard but you really should get help.

Sorry, but this is a really poorly put together story. I get the intent but….

I feel bad about it because I've liked most of the author's other stories and am a sucker for period pieces but this was utterly terrible. An entire community loves him so much they betray him in the worst way, allow a small army of men to screw his wife and believe they are helping him. I could understand trying to give him a baby he could not give himself but that doesn't make her being screw by 12 men right. Even bring up the turkey baster showing it was unnecessary, that she did it just to get laid and everyone patted themselves on the back about it. Very low score.

Obviously, some of the commenters do not know how to read.

What a fucking whore. She had to right to decide that. She had to right to condemn him to be a father to 4 bastards.

And he was an even bigger wimp and pathetic excuse for a man. You don't fucking go to a friend to be a sperm donor. Only the most thoughtless of whores does that.

He should have fucking filed against the sheriff, the doctor, and every single one of them there.

I'm a bit torn as i can't find a good insult that quite fits the situation, so whore will have to do for now.

She was a whore. Doesn't matter that no dick other than his went in her.

Disgusting.

Read the heading. Why was his wife trying to get a man pregnant??

That makes about as much sense as the rest of this really crappy story.

oh yes wife gets 12 men to fuck her so she can have a kid and he just oh hioney the town loves me so ill take u back. smh.. learn what a real man does in this situation.. hed be gone and shed be divorced so fast her head would spin. cheating for any reason is unforgivable.

Well, that sucked!

I think it was a good twist other than Old Joe calling the police. Good men get dumped on a lot. It is apparent that many erotica readers are fixated on the way they want the story to go. Let the author tell the story. If you have criticism, great. Make it constructive. If you like it, Great! Whatever it is, it's your opinion. I most often comment when the story inadvertently bleeds across my life, like many military stories.

Thanks for the story.

You put the clue in the first few sentences. Sneaky! 5*

Yikes! Some readers are Neanderthals. She was not f$cked by 12 guys. The women, including Carrie, used a Turkey battery filled with semen from 12 men and injected it as she orgasmed on the Turkey banter being inserted. Surprised though Oles did not ask about the orgasms he heard discus on the phone. But then again in subsequent applications where he did it, he saw her orgasm. Read the story!!

It doesn't matter that they used turkey basters and 12 men's sperm. It was done without his input and permission. That's not love!!