All Comments on 'One Night'

by am1373

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  • 2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Yuck

Where is the comedy or satire? This is just pure 8th grade fantasy not worthy of being on this site. She puts on a bra but then doesn't have it on later? Same for the panties. Why would someone open the door when only a mouth is seen through the peephole? Totally trash, not satire. Suggest you go back to your day job and leave the creative writing to others mature enough to do it.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Fair

She was going to pick out undergarments when the doorbell rang. I coul have a used a lil more tension and description of their assets.

Anonymous
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