All Comments on 'One time on holiday'

I'm sorry but this was your poorest attempt. No sequence or logic to it.

The old adage says that "The ending is paramount."

This story proves why that's not universally true.

This was nothing but ending, it feels like the final page of a longer story. I gave the story 2 stars, mostly because there's no 0 star option and the story does clear the bear minimum to not deserve the lowest possible score. Because what is there is decently written, from a technical standpoint.

From a narrative standpoint though, it's a mess. For one thing, literally half the characters aren't introduced, we are just expected to know who Nikki and Ross are. The only genre you can sometimes get away with this is fan fiction, but there's no indication that this isn't an original work.

Secondly, there's no build up, the first few paragraphs exist only to tell us the names James and Annie, the latter of whom is written out of the story three lines later, never to be mentioned again.

Thirdly, there's no setting. Sometimes character interactions can largely make up for the ambiguity of the setting, but there is no interaction between the characters until the grand finale (pardon my pun).

If you plan on writing more, I duggest you ask yourself the 'why's: why are my characters here?, why are they doing or saying this?, etc.