All Comments on 'Orange County Personal Trainer'

You have some style! The first part of this story was racy (you weren't shy about using words like "fuck" "cunt" "asshole" etc) and you were pretty graphic in the sex scenes, especially the anal sex, but Part 2, this story, is even hotter. It's longer, has great descriptions and interesting details about fitness trainers, gyms, California areas like Orange County and Malibu, and the characters are more or less realistic, even if they behave like they're in a soap opera. The sex scenes are good. You write well. I think the best part of this, though, was that we got into Veronica's head and heart and this wasn't just dirty erotica with no plot or heart. We feel for Veronica and we applaud her because she was smart enough to dump that guy.

I loved this story! The sex was hot, but it was also a realistic story about a doomed relationship. As the low-rent critic would say, "I laughed, I cried." Or as I would say in this case, "I had to give myself some stress relief, I cried." What more can a reader expect from a story? We got a lot of insight into Veronica, and Jon was well developed as well. I was hooked on every word, and I thought the ending was very satisfying.

This is great stuff. You're a real writer and you have style. This is not your ordinary BDSM erotica on Literotica. These two characters don't end up together at the end and in fact the submissive is smarter than her master and is smart enough to break up with him and end a relationship that was destroying her. Jon was standing in the way of her dreams of becoming a famous model and was corrupting an otherwise level-headed and smart girl. This is a story written by a smart woman about the dark side and negative effects of S and M relationships and maybe she wrote this unintentionally anti-S and M, and yet wrote hot sex scenes that featured S and M!!

I liked hearing her thoughts as she became more aware that the relationship was really one-sided and unequal. However, I noticed that you were not consistent with the spelling of the names. John and Jon, and Chris and Kris. It's a minor but yet important detail.

Doesn't seem like this is BDSM or S and M in classic sense with whips and chains and collars. The guy is not a real dom and he mostly dominates her emotionally and mentally as well as through aggressive rough anal sex. The domination/submission here is in their chemistry but not so much in the theatre of S and M you read about in other stories in this section. Good plot, good character development and writing. Reads like a kind of Red Shoes Diary adult film type of story.

When you call a story "poignant" on Literotica, it's a good thing because it's really rare. I don't think I've come across a story that ends on a sad note or where the couple doesn't end up together in the end. It's more realistic that it ends this way. While this story is not really about BDSM, and while it does have a slight "Red Shoe Diaries" kinda of feel, it's wonderfully-written and realistic. The mistakes are small but can be glaring. It's not explained how Jon and Nina got together and how long he had been "cheating" on Jessica. He told Jess to meet him at his place at an appointed time and he was already there with Nina. You can re-write this story and maybe make it longer and then you'll have a real good story. But I liked it. Great stuff.