All Comments on 'Our First Experience'

You’ve made a good start. Please keep going. Minor quibble—there are a few misspellings with words that spell check won’t catch, like “instance” instant” and “out” instead of “our”. Also, give the narrator and his girlfriend names.

Way too many spelling errors. Very annoying to read. Also, too much extraneous detail and not enough character development.

Thanks everyone for the feedback. I've made the corrections - Thanks rocketeer!

The fourth word stopped me, then a too short choppy sentence, so many errors that I lost interest trying to help make this into an interesting read. It really needs an Editor, not me.

Brilliant, just the sort of fun we like!