All Comments on 'Our First Night Out'

dont get married dont be a christian too much restrictions,just stay as partners and and fuck each other and others whenever you can ,if jobless fuck for money-no guilt ok

And for making me waste my time by not letting someone know this is a willing cuckold piece of crap until half way through it, you get one star from me. Had you given a prologue saying it was a willing cuckold or included it in your tags, I would have passed up the story all together and you would have avoided one star.

Naughty tart - but get an editor please. 3*

On what planet do people make entries like that?

You knew this whore was like this and you STILL married it? You must be truly braindead. Your whore saw you coming from a mile away. She must laugh herself stupid at finding such a mug as you are. You must be the laughing stock of all those men she has fucked, mostly your friends I would I guess, but then you probably like being laughed at don't you?

Can I give this a negative 5? that is how bad this is.

has more sense then this author, some people shouldn't be allow around people you are one of them.

another chucky author.. what women would do such shit to her man after asking to get married. total trash from this writter . who should stop writing and gets some marbles in his head.

Fetish crap

Why don't you write a story about real people. You're from the UK, do you know any real people? Or are you all wimps.

Or at least tone down how depressed, angry, etc. he is. Sure, you had SOME of him being aroused, but most of his thoughts and feelings were negative. The change in his attitude is contrary to most of what you set up. Write in third person, and most of the innate contradictions between the ending and most of what came before it would disappear.

The writing and theme left a lot to be desired. Not very erotic. Sentence structure and grammar made it difficult to read. You join countless other new writers who are turning the loving wives into a humiliating cuckoldry theme. I find these type of story, not only boring, but not worth reading. If this is what we can expect from future stories, I think I'll pass. This is my personal opinion, and no reflections on anybody else that enjoys this type of theme. An editor might help improve your flow of writing with better use of punctuations and sentence structure. Thanks for your effort. (ML)

Absolutely loved it.com.....well there were few things that kind of bothered me...like wat ta fuck is STI????Maybe where you come from it is STI but the rest of the world calles it STD. OK - the story reads like a 4th grader wrote it. SIMpleton comes to mind. How old are you????? Did not mean to offfffend....but the plot and the execution SUCKS. G A V E A 1 S T A R.

Go ahead and write something just after it happens or just when you think about it! BUT, do NOT post it yet. Let it sit until you don't remember the details of what you wrote! That may be overnight, or the next week. Then read it, and try your damnedest to not remember the detail of what happened, or what you imagined, just try to understand the event from what you're reading. If it DOESN'T make sense, then fix it from your memories of the event, or your fantasy.

I'm sure, as you re-read this fable, it will make sense to you, but it is because you're just remembering what happened, or what you imagined. Not because your writing makes sense. The other option is to use an editor...preferably one that doesn't know about the event, or your fantasy.

MasterControLLer (at LEAST get your pen-name right!), you may guess that I did NOT find your recounting to be comprehensible. You would be RIGHT. Thanks for trying. Next time, try to edit your writing more carefully. Geez, I review and edit my comments more critically than I think you reviewed your submission. I change words, or eliminate them until I think I've conveyed the message I wish to convey! Do that, and your ratings will go upl at least one point. Use a bit more imagination in your story (no rule it has to be the TOTAL truth, there IS a rule it should be memorable!) and it'll go up another point!

See...I didn't catch it (upl) on review, but did on second reading...after posting! Oops!

so many typo's/ grammatical errors before I started to scroll... I gave up...

But I agree with Lickideesplit. Take time to edit.

Thank god.

What a pathetic attempt at an "erotic" story! The author should seriously consider at least completing junior high school before attempting to write any more drivel...

After this night I wold never be able to go near her again, because I'm sure , she would give me an STD. I'd pack my bags and leave. Not even staying the night.

I would have went to the bank from the police station and emptied the accounts then went home and packed my bags and found me someone else.

Should.have been last night out instead.

A very simple story, well told. No distractions, just hot sex. Bravo.

Very disturbed people. Someone should get them professionally evaluated.

Total crap