All Comments on 'Outside of Twilight'

i LOVE this story! everything about it is great!

Some confusion on whose apartment it really is - decorations/her knowledge of floorplan vs statement it's his & statements in end paragraph. Overall its a good story. Keep them coming.

I like it but I think you could expand it. One thing we all love about Vampires is their past... Who is this mystery man? Who has he been? Perhaps it shouldn't be just a "suck&go"?

Contact me through my profile. I'd like to talk about this story.

In some ways this stories time line reminds me of Faulkner's "The Sound and the Fury". The time line sort of jumps around a bit. This is good writing.

but it could have been filled out just a bit more. I like the concept but it seemed as if your hero is a bit cold and distant.

I liked the story, loved the format of switching between what was happening and what led up to it, but i still feel something is lacking.