by SlingsNarrows
I liked the story, loved the format of switching between what was happening and what led up to it, but i still feel something is lacking.
but it could have been filled out just a bit more. I like the concept but it seemed as if your hero is a bit cold and distant.
In some ways this stories time line reminds me of Faulkner's "The Sound and the Fury". The time line sort of jumps around a bit. This is good writing.
I like it but I think you could expand it. One thing we all love about Vampires is their past... Who is this mystery man? Who has he been? Perhaps it shouldn't be just a "suck&go"?
Contact me through my profile. I'd like to talk about this story.
Some confusion on whose apartment it really is - decorations/her knowledge of floorplan vs statement it's his & statements in end paragraph. Overall its a good story. Keep them coming.