All Comments on 'Past Loves Ch. 06: Burwenn and Hala'

The story itself is on par with your previous chapters, but this could have used more proofreading: there are several spelling and punctuation errors (Hala is at one point named "Hella") and inconsistent capitalization of 'Viking'.

This chapter also poses a unique problem compared to the previous plots: the raid itself. Burwenn's age isn't stated so it's unclear how long she's lived in the convent, but presumably she had friends among her sisters. Given her letting Hala go and failing to warn the convent directly enabled the attack, I find it very hard to believe that she would not feel some sort of responsibility for the pillage, and her fellow nuns' presumed rape and/or murder.

I get that this series appears to be vignettes fetishizing interracial hookups, but Burwenn pivoting from terrified survivor to willing bride in less than a day feels unrealistically convenient. Content matter like this deserves a longer story willing to work through the moral dilemma of Hala's character—her type is often worth a novel in itself.

Thanks for the feedback. I'm glad you're enjoying the series as a whole. I definitely agree there are some holes in the narrative with this one and the characters always deserve more fleshing out than I can give them. I'll triple check the spelling and grammar in future. Hop you continue to read and enjoy these stories. :)

I take slight issue with SirDigby's criticism. These are vignettes and necessarily brief. I thought the preamble in which Burwenn first met and helped Hala was more than sufficient to set the stage for the later amorous scene.

And yes, I did look up Werham in wikipedia after reading the introduction, so I knew what was coming. ;-) This series is like a really fun and sexy history lesson. If history were taught like this I would have paid a lot more attention!!