All Comments on 'Paying Rent'

You have a well laid out first chapter. Now you need to decide if you want to run with it.

"We don't have much, for retirement ether. And you know that I'm do to retire

I'm do to retire. It's due..This ruined it for me.

Most definitely, either learn to spell or get a good editor (or both).

That said, you have the basics for a most uncommon story line, one with much potential. Your biggest albatross is going to be the age of your characters (physical attributes, stamina, etc, etc). But the set-up is wonderful. This could go somewhere.

You can do this, quite likely in a most entertaining way. Just work on that mechanics of writing issue.

Best of luck!

-- KVK