Penny's Promiscuity Ch. 46-47

"I know but..."

"But you got angry with him and fucked another boy too. You're just a much a cheat as I am, but you did it so publicly you got yourself a nickname! Isn't that so, Izzy-Oh-God?"

"But you and Dad are..."

"Adults who have agreed to put it all behind us," I interrupted before she could call me a slut again.

"I can't wait to hear what Josh and Tim say when they find out!"

"They aren't going to find out," I said firmly. "At least not from you Isobel!"

This brought a brief silence.

"What do you mean?" she asked aggressively.

For the second time in the last twelve months, an analogy came to me and I used it.

"In the Cold War they had a phrase. Mutually Assured Destruction'"

"What the hell has that got to do with anything?" Izzy snarled.

"At the time," I continued doggedly. "It meant that if one side used nuclear weapons the other would do the same and both sides would be utterly destroyed. That way neither would dare be the first to press the button."

"I know all this," Izzy growled. "I'm not stupid. Why are you telling me?"

I kicked myself while trying to keep my composure. My daughter was not Will; unlike him, she had studied in school and would have known what I was talking about without explanation. Even so, I carried on.

"You are I are in the same place. Yes, I cheated, but you did too! You are in no place to pass judgement either on me or your Dad."

I drew a deep breath.

"Listen carefully, Isobel Barker. If anyone - and I mean anyone at all - finds out about my affair or your father's fling, your Dad, both your brothers and your boyfriend will find at least one of your videos in their inboxes within hours."

"You wouldn't!"

She sounded almost hysterical.

"Try me, Izzy! There's a lot at stake here."

She thought for a moment.

"I don't believe you'd do it. I don't believe you've even got them."

"Really?"

"You're bluffing," she wailed. "You're a slut, you're desperate and you're bluffing!"

It took only seconds to think of my next move.

"Okay, how about this? You think I'm bluffing? You called me a slut? Perhaps I should punish you for being so rude. Perhaps I should give you a good hard spanking. Perhaps if I'd done it when you were younger, you wouldn't be such a brat now."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" she snarled angrily.

"But no," I persevered. "Spanking wouldn't be a punishment for you Izzy, would it? You'd actually enjoy a good spanking, wouldn't you?"

"Oh my God!"

Silence descended. The look of sheer terror on my daughter's face when she realised that I really had seen the videos; that I really had watched her being fucked and spanked on film was something I will remember the rest of my life. I said nothing, I just raised an eyebrow and looked her straight in the eye.

"So, can you keep a secret?"

"Mum please..."

Calling me Mum was a victory in itself. I pressed home my advantage.

"Can you keep a secret Isobel? Because if you can't..."

"Okay, okay! You win!"

The girl was red in the face with anger and frustration but knew when she was beaten.

"You'll tell no-one? No-one at all?" I insisted for absolute clarity.

"Okay. No-one."

"Not your brothers, not your friends. Not Jack?"

"No-one. I promise."

"Cross you heart?"

"Mum please! I'm a grown-up now."

"Okay," I conceded. "But you do understand I'm deadly serious. I really would do it."

"Yes. I understand."

"Then come here and give me a hug."

The reluctance with which my daughter came towards me was almost comical but come she eventually did. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly, as much to make her feel a little intimidated by my presence as to reassure her I still loved her.

"We all make mistakes, Izzy," I whispered as I held her close. "Your Dad and I need to move on from ours just as much as you needed to move on from yours. We love each other and have agreed to put all this behind us. Surely you can see that's best for everyone?"

"I suppose so," she mumbled into my chest. "But what about the baby? I was sure Dad had had a vasectomy. What if..."

"My affair was over before I got pregnant with Leanne," I assured her.

I was stretching the truth only a little; though I did not know it at the time, my affair was indeed already over when Darren had fucked and impregnated me. Tony had already dumped me; I just wasn't aware of the fact.

We hugged a little longer.

"Don't worry," I tried to reassure her. "Tony can't possibly be Leanne's father. He's had a vasectomy so..."

Suddenly Isobel's whole body went stiff.

"What did you say?"

Her voice was high and shocked. She pushed me away and froze rigid, her eyes fixed on mine in horror.

"You said Tony, didn't you?"

It took a few seconds for me to realise what I had said. For the second time in only a couple of weeks, I had accidentally given away one of my deepest, darkest secrets. The first was to Julie and could probably be managed. My judgemental daughter Isobel was a completely different prospect.

"Oh my God!"

The words choked in my mouth.

"Your affair was with Tony?" Izzy spoke slowly, her voice hushed and horrified.

I couldn't speak. All I could do was nod my head.

"Tony? Like, Jack's Dad, Tony?" she repeated, dumbfounded. "It was him on the phone? You were fucking him all that time?"

"I'm sorry, Izzy..." I began, but a huge gulp of a sob from alongside interrupted me.

"Oh God! Oh my God!" she mumbled, lowering herself to perch on the edge of the bed. "I can't... I can't..."

Then she started to cry.

My tough daughter Izzy was crying, and not tears of anger, real tears.

Something was seriously wrong. Okay, my affair had been with her boyfriend's father but at the time, she and Jack hadn't even been going out together, let alone sleeping with each other.

There was more to this than just yuk factor or mere embarrassment.

"What's the matter Izzy?" I asked, my flash of anger immediately dispelled by a mother's instinct to protect her young.

She didn't reply, but her sobs grew stronger and louder.

"I'm really sorry," I tried to console her. "Really. We didn't mean to hurt anyone, least of all you. Things just got out of control."

Instead of simply wiping her nose and pulling herself together as I had expected, this news seemed to make Izzy cry even harder, her shoulders shook visibly, her eyes and nose wet and snotty.

"Izzy darling," I tried again to reassure her. "Please don't be so upset. It's over now. Your Dad and I have forgiven each other. It doesn't need to affect your relationship with Jack."

What I hoped was a comforting response turned out to be quite the opposite; Izzy rose to hr feet and began to pace back and forth, her eyes unable to meet mine. I tried to take her in my arms, but she pulled away from me violently.

"Darling please," I pleaded. "Don't push me away. It's just one of those terrible things that happen to couples sometimes. Your Dad and I have come to terms with it. Please help us see it through."

Isobel's tears were well beyond anything I had seen before. Fiery of temper she certainly was, but this degree of upset was entirely new. I tried to stroke her shoulders, neck and hair in an attempt to calm her down, but she pulled herself away again.

This was beyond reasonable now.

"Come on Izzy," I said in a much firmer parental voice than I had used before. "That's enough emotion. This is our problem, not yours. No-one needs to know anything. You and Jack can go on just as before."

This seemed to shake her just enough for a little coherence to enter her voice. She stopped pacing and with a huge effort, allowed me to put my arm around her.

"What is it?" I asked. "Come on, tell me. This isn't just about your Dad and me having made mistakes. I understand you're angry about that, but there's something else, isn't there?"

Izzy pulled herself together enough to look me in the face, her whole body shaking with emotion, her eyes red and puffy, her face pink and ugly.

"I can't tell you..." she mumbled. "I just can't."

"You've got to tell someone," I told her firmly. "This is way beyond just a bit of upset."

Her sobs began to slow as she fought gallantly to regain control of herself.

"Come on," I whispered, pleased that she finally allowed me to behave as a mother should. "It can't be worse than finding out both your parents have had affairs, can it?"

"Can't it?" she mumbled.

"Now you really do have to tell me," I cajoled her, giving her a reassuring squeeze.

For a long moment she seemed to be both gathering her strength and coming to some kind of momentous decision.

"Promise. You won't. Tell Dad?" she said between her subsiding gasps.

"Of course," I told her. "If you want it kept secret, it will be just between us." I laughed hollowly. "Mutually Assured Destruction, remember?"

From the expression on her face, she seemed to be going through agonies but after a short while my daughter appeared to steel herself.

"You want to know... The reason I'm... I'm so upset it was Tony you fucked?"

"Is that really what all this is about?" I replied, misreading the situation. "I know he's Jack's Dad, but you and Jack weren't together when it all started so..."

"Shut up, Mum!" Izzy interrupted loudly, shaking her head vehemently. "I'm sorry, but if I don't tell you now, I won't ever be able to tell you."

I frowned.

"Well, what is it Izzy? If it's that important, tell me. You know you can trust me."

She took a deep breath again, gathering her strength for goodness knows what. When she finally spoke, her words hit me like as body blow.

"Your affair had ended before you got pregnant, right? Please tell me that's right."

"Yes. I told you that," I assured her truthfully. "Tony is not Leanne's father, if that's what worrying you."

She thought a moment longer, then looked up into my face, her expression one of embarrassment and shame.

"It's not that Mum. It's... It's... It's because..."

"Because what?"

"Because... Because not long after he stopped fucking you..."

She paused as if summoning up her last reserves of courage.

"What Izzy?"

She looked into my eyes with agony in hers.

"He started fucking me instead!"

"WHAT?"