All Comments on 'Persistent Ch. 01'

The story is a mass of contradictions and inconsistencies.

She’s not naive but she acts like it. She betrays her husband and doesn’t regret it. She saw how he treats his conquests and is confused. He’s inappropriate but she accepts it.

She’s not attracted to him; but she acts like it.

Ahe behaves line a 16 yr old girl and not a 30 something mature, married woman who absolutely would have heard the rumours that he fucked countless employees.

I hate stories that lie to us.

Well written with a decent plotline, but not my cuppa. Lack of free will kills the conflict upon which fiction lives. 3/5.

And another whore is born. Are there any women that aren’t sluts?

Please don't step into LW ever again, keep it in where you are comfortable, MC.

Word crafting was nearly perfect, but it does drag out endlessly, with no obvious conclusion. NO man is that alluring that a beauty would need him so much.

The marriage is over now. The writer should write in chapter two how the husband turned up at the hotel with divorce papers and then beat the shit out of Nick and castrated him. The ex wife then became the company whore and fucked everyone and anyone to get to the top of her company.

Another story of a stupid slut, husband straight out told her don’t drink be careful for her own good but of course thinking that she is all high and mighty she said in other words you don’t own me, like bitch he knows that but he is just trying to help your retarded ass see the problem that can happen and by the looks of it will happen, stay single guys make money and fuck bitches that’s the only thing I can say that will help you stay in peace

Unfinished epic stupidity

Are seriously going to make her lose to this sick guy?

@Odiouser, about " NO man is that alluring that a beauty would need him so much." and @Legio_Patria_Nostra:

I agree and in fact this is mainly a MC category story, not like she likes him. But since it contains adultery of a married woman, I preferred this category - so people (at least the ones who knew what this category is) would know before reading. Thanks for the comments. Plus, @Odiouser, I'm trying to decrease my never ending stretches in the story, thanks for reminding me that as well.

And about Anonymous user's comment "Are seriously going to make her lose to this sick guy?"

I don't like seeing women lose, so, I hope not.

This is a well written story and everything I hoped it'd be. Looking forward to the next parts.

Good story as far as it went. Needs an endung

You're very vivid in your writing. And your plot and explaining how the people are feeling and what's making them tick. Chef kiss

Let's see where this is going...for now 2*

Pissing away her life...I hope there's castration in his future.

Too much nothing.

Truly an epic fail.

The problem is, like with most humans, we arent honest with ourselves with what we create. You are no exception.

Paul, her husband would know in conversation with her what had happened. Let her know not to bother coming home, locks changed and all her possessions were in storage. Divorce documents would be served shortly.

So she's a very competent, intelligent, career driven, devoted wife, but then a lecherous unattractive guy who constantly hits on her decides to act aloof for a few days and suddenly shes a confused, airheaded, skank? Ok got it.....garbage

An intriguing/tantalizing storyline that becomes frustrating for the reader (not to mention your main character) — frustrating because it rambles a bit while she rambles a bit much trying to understand where she is and where she is going (but that is the storyline). Like fact that you respond to some comments (not many authors do so), and look forward to where you take Linda. Less worried about what happens with marriage (Paul is a foil of sorts) and more how she responds to her nemesis, so looking forward. Aside: See why you placed story in LW, but is it really a LW storyline not to mention the “comment” and scoring consequences. Liked it.

He's a professional dick and she is just a stupid women who thinks she can have her cake and eat it to. The big D is in her future as her husband already knows what is happening and has tried to give her outs but she's to dumb to do it. A well written slide down.

.

Cheers

Linda has already crossed WAY over the line!!! Divorce is the only viable option...

She is weak. She also has no respect for her husband. Paul deserves a better woman and should cut the short marriage off before it really festers. He can easily find a better woman. She will lose everything. If she thinks she can just get another job, she is wrong. It is a small industry, and a bad reputation will follow her wherever she goes. Shelf life for her position is short and offers will dry up quickly. Hopefully Paul will give Nick the beatdown he deserves on his way out. Not for her but for the next husband and wife Nick would target. Yes, the husbands are targeted for humiliation. Once Paul leaves, Linda will no longer interest Nick.

Well constructed story. Love the seduction. Looking forward to the second part.

@Migbird, thank you for the comment. I see that while trying to show the mood change or justifications, I linger a bit much in that area. About responding to comments, I'm glad to read sincere thoughts = good or bad, helps me see different perspectives. Scores, especially in this category don't mean much to me, as you said.

@Harga, yes, he's a pro dick and she suffers from too much confidence in a world she's novice about. I may have had problems showing that. Thanks.

@ScorpioJJ, you're right but those thoughts were pre-vacation thoughts. We'll see how it goes.

Thanks for comments.

Never continue.

Great story, when will part 2 be posted.

Women, so secure, so sure, so stupid.

I like insights into the psychology of the characters involved, but this went on a bit much. The game Nick is laying down is sophisticated, designed to win, and he has the physical to go along with the mind game. Honestly a lot of women wouldnt stand a chance. They are hard wired to love attention, and gift sex to receive and continue it. Takes a very strong almost male like logical woman to resist, or one thoroughly grounded in and committed to sacramental marriage.

Um, women are far better at these mind games than men, so your well written and well thought out (could have left a few thoughts out) story doesn't compute. I know, I know, some/most men want to see women as sluts underneath their personas, but it's not true. It's only a LW stereotype.

@patillie, I agree with you completely, it's hard for me to 'not to go that much', I'm working on it. Thanks for your comment.

@Frank66, thank you for the comment. I was thinking exactly the same way you expressed but I happened to witness some women, who I saw as slightly above my league squirm against some low life guys who directly attacked their personality, in a nearly humiliating way. I believe that 'different' can be interesting in unexpected situations. I, myself find unequipped and non-attractive women who act as they own the world very alluring - not as companions of course, but interesting.

so... just a story about a woman? Okay I guess, just typical

1 star - just a bad idea.

Teenage boy perspective of women and the world just takes too much suspension of disbelief.

Premise does not work.

At all.

Look, she is written as a spineless little girl who can’t see the stupid game Nick is attempting to play with her. Doesn’t fit - a woman supposedly that beautiful learns early on to read men and shut down anything they don’t want to happen. Yet she falls for Nick’s juvenile manipulations as if she were an inexperienced 16 year old girl. Nope - not believing that.

Anonymous: "a woman supposedly that beautiful learns early on to read men and shut down anything they don’t want to happen"

Exactly.

That's what normally happens. That's what is supposed to happen. But normal is not interesting.

And, when someone socializes enough, he witnesses that 'what is supposed to happen' does not happen time to time.

I'm guessing that you haven't said "Why did that woman leave her perfect husband / lover for that asshole" in your life, but I did, many times.

Also, inclination does not necessarily rely on logic all the time, animalistic instincts form one of the main source of mistakes, as I see it. If she's not used to juvenile tactics, they are new and confusing. If she's not familiar with nice gestures, that could be her kryptonite.

But I respect your opinion, thanks for the comment.

Raging Femdom agitprop for the masses. Was expecting her husband to call the night of her surrender, a missed opportunity for drama.

@HighBrow

This first chapter is not very related to femdom.

I understand the drama expectation but not just here, even the mainstream is full of that.

Thanks for the comments on both chapters.

I guess interest is relative. You made this different, but interesting? No. No interest left, I'm out.