Pink Djinn

"No chance," grinned Genie, "That was an everlasting, unbreakable curse. He'll do no more wicked deeds or crimes. But don't worry about the Wazir. As long as he can stay several hops ahead of the snakes and the hawks he should be all right. And if he can't..." She shrugged.

The chains fell from Aladdina and the Sultan and melted away while Saadia was released from the spell that held her motionless. Aladdina grabbed the lamp from where it had fallen then took Genie's hands in hers. "As soon as we're safely back in the city I will grant you your freedom. Your magical powers must have taken a bit of a bruising with the villainous ones exploiting you so if you get back into the lamp for a rest, we'll all travel by carpet."

Genie took Aladdina's hand and touched it to her forehead. "I have just given you a permanent gift," she whispered, "You will be able to enter and leave the treasure cave whenever you wish and without assistance from me. I changed the cave's ladder into a staircase that doesn't wobble, installed permanent lighting and cleared out the skeletons. It's quite pleasant down there now. Simply stand at the hatch and say loudly 'Open up you bugger!' It should have been 'Open Sesame!' but some bunch of thieves¾forty of the sods¾have copyrighted that one. They're a nasty lot and something will have to be done about them soon¾maybe I'll bribe the alley barbers to cut their throats next time they go for their shaves." She dissolved into a stream of smoke to re-enter the lamp.

Aladdina led her companions to where the magic carpet, grown even larger to accommodate more passengers, rested on the sands. She made sure they removed their shoes before boarding. "Oh, my poor superior pile!" the carpet moaned, "By all the niggardly nitwits of Nineveh! How many of you clumsy-footed oafs are there?"

"Only four," Aladdina soothed.

"Only four! Only four! the irresponsible girl says! And expects me to cope with a crowd like that. It's all right for you, you don't have to carry them! If I had a back like yours I'd be in traction by now. I ought to charge you excess baggage fees. And where are you lot going?"

"The city of course," said Aladdina.

"'The city of course', she says, as if it's next door," bellyached the carpet, "and only four of you! I think I'll retire and become a doormat because that's the way you're treating me. Go on, wipe your feet all over me why don't you—?"

The carpet was distracted by a loud "Ribbit!" behind them and Wajid the frog hopped onto a corner. "Right! That does it!" snapped the carpet, "Whose pet is the amphibian? No-one owning up? Good! Four people I'll put up with... just... but no livestock and no household pets! Gerroff—go play hide-and-seek with a cobra." With a flick of the corner, the carpet sent the frog flying to vanish amid the palm grove. "Frogs! Slimy little creeps! And what an ugly bastard that one was! First time I've seen a frog with a silly little moustache. Right, take-off in thirty seconds. I haven't got any seat-belts so you take your chance. And don't expect a charming flight attendant to come round with sherbet and sweetmeats. Anyone who's sick gets off and walks, even if I'm in mid-air at the time! Any complaints or questions? Better not be!"

The Sultan, unused to being admonished by a mere carpet, even a genuine Bokhara made from the finest oriental silks, opened his mouth to complain but Aladdina put a finger to her lips and shook her head. "Believe me, you don't want to walk," she whispered, "not all the way to the city. The hot sand would play the merry devil with your bunions!"

Having weighed the options, the Sultan saw sense, closed his eyes and suddenly insight was granted to him, doubtless as a divine reward for making the right decision. 'Twat'—of course, it should have been obvious: it had to be an acronym standing for Terribly Wicked, Atrocious and Treacherous. Astounded by this unexpected surge of intellectual brilliance, a smug Sultan congratulated himself and spent the rest of the journey day-dreaming of his handsome new wife Saadia and her abundantly hairy yoni...

And the carpet mumbled, grumbled and griped all the way to the city.

A gift: like it or lamp it

Genie had spent days sitting in the lamp, listless and sullen. Freedom had seemed so attractive when Aladdina granted it and yet it had turned out to be boring. The trouble was that she was a species of djinn (oh sorry, genie—don't fancy being turned into a frog, even accidentally) whose purpose in life was to serve. She didn't even have a playmate. She had tried to tempt Aladdina into the lamp for fun and games but Aladdina had vowed to be faithful always to Yasmin.

Then Aladdina had a brilliant idea for how to restore Genie's good nature. One morning she sneaked out of the palace, clutching the lamp, and returned to her previous home which they had kept for sentimental reasons. There she removed her finery, donned her old tunic and pantaloons and made her way to the bakery where she waited until the miserable ancient baker made his way to the grain-seller's shop. She scaled the balcony and as expected, Zehra was lying unclothed on her couch, fingers as busy as ever.

"Aladdina! What are you doing here?" She made an obscenely inviting gesture. "Have you come to—?"

"No," said Aladdina, "I have come to give you a gift." She held up the lamp.

"A gift for me?" Zehra brightened then: "Oh... a battered old lamp?" she added, disappointed.

"Not just any battered old lamp," Aladdina grinned. She rubbed the side of the lamp and the smoke began to pour. Zehra gazed on, astonished and transfixed, as the smoke solidified into the beautiful Genie.

"Is she for me?" gasped Zehra, "Now that's what I call a gift. She's lovely and she's naked! And what a gorgeous quim!"

"Oh, a beautiful naked lady!" squealed a delighted Genie in her turn, "Just look at that exquisite pussy. I could get lost in that."

"Zehra, meet Genie. Genie, meet Zehra." Aladdina introduced, adding: "You can keep each other happy for ever after."

"Yes!" crowed Genie and took Zehra's hands in hers. "How would you like to travel with me to a faraway place, a place called the Swigging Sexties?"

"Anywhere to escape my miserable old wreck of a spouse," said the baker's wife, "Just lead me to it."

"And I've been told there are fortunes to be made there singing," Genie went on, "We'd make an unbeatable duo. Now, what could we call ourselves?"

"How about this, Genie?" suggested Aladdina, "Your complexion absolutely shines and¾" here she pointed from Zehra to Genie "¾she's got you babe, so how about Sunny and Her?"

"Perfect!" cried the two in unison and pausing only to kiss Aladdina—one on each cheek—and snatch up the lamp, they disappeared in a thunderclap.

Aladdina stood there for a moment, touching her cheek where Genie had kissed her, gave a tiny sigh of regret and then cheered up before setting off for the palace and the arms of her beautiful wife.

The End