Plus One

"How much does it cost?"

"Twenty five thousand."

"How much?" I was aghast. That was more than I earned in a year!

"Per year." My grandfather gave me the once over. "The single Males who join can afford it. If they can't they're not eligible for membership."

"I'll never be able to afford that kind of money."

"There are other ways to be a member."

"Like what?"

"Like being Helen's chaperone. Your membership is covered by the association in exchange for you being a chaperone."

"So I get paid too?"

A head shake no.

"You get nothing. Your job as her chaperone is to ensure that everything goes smoothly and to be there so that no one misunderstands what's happening. Remember, it's a social club. That means you're part of what's going on. This isn't prostitution and you're not a pimp, you get nothing out of it when you're Helen's chaperone because what goes on has almost nothing to do with you. Once you're a member, you can request to have your own calendar set up and that means you can meet and socialize with women whose profiles match yours."

"Being her chaperone means you and Helen are publically visible together with both men and women, or couples, and that deflects suspicion. So, you shake hands, talk, and mingle like you're friends or associates, which you are if you're a member."

"You do all of that right in front of other people as much as possible so that they can see that you're part of what's going on. If you're part of it when Helen is meeting someone, and she's there whenever you are, then it can't be anything that's inappropriate. Your job is to make sure it keeps looking that way."

"So I'm just a false front?"

"If you want to call it that. I don't because I don't put myself down like that, but if you want to I'm not saying you can't. What I am saying is that in exchange for your being Helen's chaperone you can get laid more often than if you aren't, and you'll get your membership paid by the association instead of having to come up with it yourself. You still have to go through the background and screening checks but they won't deny you unless they find something abnormal or disqualifying. In addition to you passing the background check, before you can apply to become her chaperone Helen has to certify you."

"What's that mean?"

"Talk to Helen about that. It's something she has to do if you decide you're going to step up on her behalf and join."

At that point our breakfasts arrived and the discussion turned to other topics.

FIVE

The book was boring. Nothing but a list of guidelines for membership. No swimming in the pool after hours kind of stuff. There were some fairly strict rules for conduct between members, but that's all. Other than that, there wasn't anything in there about chaperones, or sex, or any other kind of thing except basic membership rules that would apply to almost every kind of club.

I read the pamphlet from cover to cover a couple of times and then slept on it. In the morning, I was sitting at my tiny kitchen table drinking my breakfast when it hit me.

"Huh."

"What?" Wade asked from where he sat on the floor. If I hadn't known better, I'd swear he'd stayed there all night. I knew he hadn't because he was wearing a different T shirt. Knowing him it probably wouldn't make it through the morning without another stain to go with the other stains it already had.

"Nothing. I just realized something."

"Oh. Anything interesting?"

I shook my head. "Just some family stuff."

"Like what Kel was here about the other day?" His eyes brightened as he asked.

Another head shake no. "Just stuff."

He gave me a long look then shrugged his shoulders and went back to his game. For me it'd been a revelation. The book had the rules that the general public could see, but the real rules weren't in it. You had to read between the lines to figure them out. And you couldn't do that unless you already knew what was going on.

Like the part about how to act around other members. A code of conduct that ensured that there was some formality that helped to keep up appearances. If there was a clubhouse that wouldn't be odd. It'd be akin to be polite to the staff and each other, but there wasn't a clubhouse or anything like that where that kind of thing would apply. Instead, the code of conduct basically translated to how to act anytime members met, how they met, what happened while they met, and how everyone was expected to act during and afterward.

Very rigidly structured. And that structure included how and why my mother called my grandfather Sir. She did it because The Rules required it. And yet there wasn't a single word in the entire book about it. Not anywhere.

I read the book again and thought about making some notes before I decided that I didn't want anything like that lying around where someone might see it. I didn't think Wade snooped through my stuff, but I was pretty sure that my mom and granddad, Greg, granddad, wouldn't appreciate it even if he didn't. What I could do was form a few questions in my head and then call my mom.

"Hi mom, is Greg coming by the house today?"

Silence.

"Mom? You there?"

"What do you want Kevin?"

"I'd like to talk to Greg some more about the association. If he's coming by today, and you don't mind, I'd like to stop in while he's there."

"We have a dinner invitation so I'm not going to be home later."

Translation: She was going on a date and my grandfather was going to chaperone.

"That's fine. I just want to talk to Greg for a few minutes. If it's okay."

More silence. I decided to up the ante a bit.

"Helen?"

There was a short pause and then my mother's voice came over the line. She sounded very formal and her tone was smooth and unruffled sounding.

"If you think it necessary, Sir, my chaperone and I will be here until 3:30."

"Thank you."

Frigging traffic. I didn't get there until almost 3:30 because of the frigging traffic. Where in the hell were all these people going in the middle of the afternoon? Coming down the block I saw that granddad's car was still in the driveway which meant they hadn't left yet. Pulling to a stop at the curb, I hurried inside the house.

"Kevin, you're late." My grandfather met me at the door. He was wearing a suit and tie. "We're on our way out the door right now."

"I know. I tried to get here sooner but the traffic sucked. Sorry"

A noise had me turn around. My mother was coming down the stairs and what she was wearing nearly knocked my eyes out. Grandfather's suit and tie was one thing, her dress was completely something else. Wow! She was perfect. Seriously, she was perfect. Her dress was floor length and cut to enhance and reveal her body at the same time. Her hair was upswept and held with a clasp on the back of her head too. Matching jewelry for the hair clasp hung on her ears and around her neck. I'd never seen any of it before and with it on she was transformed from this is my mom into something absolutely stunning to look at.

"You look beautiful." The words escaped before I could stop them.

"Thank you, Sir." My mother's voice was still smooth and unruffled sounding. She definitely didn't sound like usual herself. She looked up at my grandfather with a question in her eyes.

"Ready?" He asked her.

She nodded.

"Sorry Kevin, we have to leave."

"Do you mind if I wait?"

My mother looked at my grandfather instead of answering me. My grandfather glanced between us and shrugged.

"It's up to you."

"Then have fun and I'll see you when you get back." I bent to give my mom a kiss but she turned her face away. Hurt over the unexpected rejection showing on my face I looked at my grandfather for the reason.

"I will explain later. I owe you that at least."

With that he crooked his elbow for my mother. Placing her hand on his arm they walked out. Watching while they backed out of the driveway and pulled away, I saw my mom's face in the car's window looking at me. I waved.

I watched TV, I surfed the internet, I fixed some dinner and ate it at the table alone then did the dishes afterward. I even solved a few puzzles in my mother's crossword puzzle book before they showed up again.

When they walked through the door my mother's hair was unbound and her dress, that amazingly gorgeous creation she'd been wearing, looked like it'd spent the evening lying on the floor getting stepped on. Knowing what she'd undoubtedly been doing for the evening meant it probably had.

"Kevin," my grandfather started to explain as soon as they both walked through the front door. "About what happened earlier . . ."

I waved that away.

"Don't worry about it, I figured it out. When Helen is meeting someone, she's focused on that and can't let anything or anyone interfere." I looked at my mom. "Is that right?"

I got a smooth nod for a reply.

"Hi mom, did you miss me?" I stood up and held out my arms.

A sigh from my grandfather had me look in his direction.

"Hey, I've barely got a toehold in two different universes at the same time right now and I'm trying to hang on with all I've got. You at least went into this with your eyes open and knowing what was happening. I don't have that luxury so give me some slack while I find my footing."

I held out my arms again.

"Mom?"

"Kevin, I'm tired." The explanation came after a moment's silence.

"I love you." I kept it simple and continued holding my arms out.

She flicked a glance at the open curtains instead of moving. Turning I realized what I was asking her to do in front of any neighbors who happened to be looking in. Oops. Instead of saying anything I stepped across the room toward them. As I did I realized that the space inside the foyer where they were standing wasn't visible from outside the house. Not from any direction. Huh, I'd never noticed that before. Of course I hadn't ever known what was going on in the house while I was growing up, but still . . .

"I love you mom." I said it again once I was standing right in front of her.

"Kevin . . ." She sounded exasperated.

Instead of saying anything I bent and touched her underneath her chin with a fingertip to hold her still and kissed her. On the mouth. Just like she'd started kissing me a couple of days ago. She melted and her arms immediately went around my neck. Yeah, okay, that worked. Which meant I'd figured something out. Mostly that the Man of the House thing means more than a lot of people think it does. At least in my mom's house.

Finishing the kiss I looked over at granddad.

"Do you have a minute?"

He twisted his wrist and looked at his watch.

"I won't take much of your time, I just have a couple of questions. No big deal."

"Just a couple of questions, Marjory is alone at home." His response was cautious.

Instead of answering I sat back down in the chair I'd been occupying when they came home. Both of them sat on the edge of the couch and I could see that they didn't know what I wanted. In their shoes I probably wouldn't know what I was after either.

"Do I have to quit school?"

That was my first question. A startled glace between them told me that it wasn't one they expected me to ask. Not even close.

"No." My mother shook her head. "It's probably better that you don't. Appearances are everything and a college degree will open more doors for you than anything else will."

Well, that was good. I'd put a lot of time and energy into getting my degree and to throw it all away would have sucked. Next I looked at my grandfather and pulled the most pressing question out of my brain and couched it in the most formal request I could.

"What do you suggest I do? I don't know how to move forward without making a potentially catastrophic mistake because I don't know what I'm doing or what is expected of me."

He twisted his wrist and looked at his watch again. My mother saw him do it and stood up.

"Mother is probably waiting up for you. You should go."

His eyes flicked my way.

"I'm good. I swear." I held up my hand like a boy scout.

"We'll be fine," my mother told him. "Go home and get some rest. I know you're tired."

He stood.

"You're sure?"

"I have control. It's not the best control but I'll manage."

Well, that was an interesting way to put it. Filing that away for later I stood up from my chair.

"Let me walk you out."

They both looked at me then at each other. After a moment they began heading for the foyer together. I gave them some space as I followed along behind .

"Thank you Sir." My mother reached up and kissed him on the lips.

Like the last time, her kiss was sucked into his embrace. This time my mother held on and whispered in his ear.

"You be sure and tell mother that I couldn't service you."

"I'm fine." He rumbled back softly.

"Tell her. I'm going to call tomorrow to be sure she knows that she needs to service you because Kevin is here and I couldn't. So you'd better tell her."

That got a light chuckle and another kiss before he released her. I followed him as we both walked down the driveway to his car.

SIX

After we reached the car I pulled the pamphlet out of my back pocket and held it out. He took it from me and tossed it inside through the open window.

"Did you read it?

I nodded.

"I figured it out. It took me going through it several times and a lot of thinking, but I figured it out."

"And?"

I held out my hand to him. He looked at my hand, then up to my eyes. I just extended my arm slightly in response. With a grin he gripped my hand and pulled me in before slapping me twice on the back and letting go.

"Your mother was right. You're a good man Kevin."

"Thank you. I try."

Another grin and he got into the car.

"Take care of your mother," was his last comment.

"I appreciate you not kicking my ass even though I probably deserved it." My parting shot made him grin again before he backed out of the driveway.

The curtains were drawn by the time I made it back inside. My mother was waiting on the couch as I closed the front door behind me. Instead of returning to the chair where I'd been sitting, I eased myself down on the sofa next to her.

"I want you to know I'm not angry or upset or anything." I reached and picked up one of her hands and held it. "I'm just not sure about much of anything right now. My entire world has been turned upside down and what I thought I knew turned out to be less than half of what was really happening. Please believe me, I'm not angry at you or anything."

She nodded.

"I know. You don't even sound frustrated and you should be."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because no one goes from the way you were to the way you are now without at least being frustrated. Even if you were trying to cover it up by lying about it, there are indicators that we're taught to tell us when that's happening. You're not ringing any of my alarms and ordinarily you should be. Most men would be angry to find out that their mother is a slut."

"Shh. You're not a slut. And you saying it won't make me mad at you. I told you, I understand. I figured it out. I just don't know where to go from here."

"Where is here?"

She didn't mean where were we sitting. She meant where was I at in my head and how much did I actually understand.

"Granddad talked to me. He explained some of it and gave me a book to read. It was filled with association rules and not much else. I read it a couple of times and it dawned on me that the book wasn't telling me anything I didn't already know. What it wasn't telling me about was the things I'd discovered which no one else knew. Things that are supposed to be explained in the book but aren't. I asked myself why. I asked myself; if the rules are supposed to be in the book, then where are they? The answer was obvious; they are. You just have to look at them the right way."

She squeezed my hand lightly. "It must have been a shock."

"It wasn't really." I shrugged. "Granddad said some other things that cushioned it."

"Like what?"

"He asked me how often I get laid."

That got a laugh out of her.

"That is just so typical of Males."

I shrugged again. What can I say, I'm a healthy red blooded guy. Mention sex and I'm all ears and lust filled thoughts.

My mother leaned a bit closer and rested her head on my shoulder but didn't say anything.

"What did you mean when you said you have three stars?" The question just popped out of my mouth.

"Each star is a tattoo for oral, vaginal, and anal sex. If I had four stars that would mean that I'd also have sex with another woman. I only have three."

"I didn't really need to know that much detail." I protested. Yes we were adults, and could talk like adults about a lot of things, but there were some things a guy didn't need to know about his mother.

"Yes you did. Sir."

The rebuke was as mild as my protest. I hadn't expected her to be so graphic and open about it but the fact that she was, and she was calling me Sir again, must mean something. I only wished I knew what that was instead of just guessing at it like I was doing.

"Do your dates have tattoos too?"

"Males. They're Males, not dates." Another mild rebuke. "Dates are fruit."

"You know what I was asking."

She sighed. "Yes Sir. None of the Males I've been with have tattoos like mine."

"Does that mean that Males don't have to go through any type of training like you did?"

"I don't know, Sir."

We sat there silently for a few minutes before my mom asked me a question.

"Do you have a girlfriend? Right now?"

I shook my head no. I hadn't been seeing anyone for several months, school and work took up too much of my time. Not that I'd ever been in high demand anyway, finding someone who meshed with me hadn't ever been easy. I just wasn't like other guys who didn't care about the women they went out with. After a quick roll in the sack they were like; later babe, see you when I need another blowjob.

I wanted more out of life than that. Most of the women I knew treated me as if us being together meant it was going to be based on what I could buy or give them next. Which didn't really seem like much of a relationship to me. I wanted someone who wanted me because I was me. Someone to truly love me, for me, instead of treating me like I was some kind of social status symbol or worse, a pot of gold to spend endlessly on trivialities with no thought of what any of that meant to me. Where was love in any of that?

"You need serviced." The statement was lazy sounding. "I can tell that it's been a long time since you slept with anyone. If you had a girlfriend, I'd call her and let her know that I don't appreciate her not treating you like she's supposed to."

"No you wouldn't."

"Bet me."

Yeah, not going there.

"We should get you certified and into the association. That way we can find someone for you and you won't smell like you do right now."

"You think I smell?" I sniffed my underarm. Nothing, my deodorant was still working.

"Not like that." A low chuckle followed my sniffing. "You smell like an unserviced Male. It's really strong which is how I know you haven't slept with anyone for a long time."

"What do I smell like?"

"Musky. I can smell you several feet away."

"You can smell me from that far?"

She nodded.

"Most women can. They just ignore it because they don't know what it is and its not very powerful most of the time."

"Is it a good smell? Me, now I mean."

She shook her head.

"A sexually active man smells different from a man who isn't sexually active. Still musky but there's a subtle difference I can't really describe other than to say that, to me, one scent is sharp and the other is dull. That's how it smells to me. Other women describe it differently. Mother says for her it's the difference between whiskey and rosewater."