Pretty Fly for a White Guy

"Let me." He pushed me gently off him and I was too weak to put up any form of protest as he slowly turned me over, so I was crouched on my hands and knees. Archie moved behind me, his softening dick nestled between my thighs as he reached around and grabbed my dick.

"Oh fuck yes." I moaned, pressing myself hard against him- feeling his heat and his sweat.

"Mmmm." He moaned. "Fuck Fee. I think I like you like this." I bucked into his hand and let my head fall forward as he held me tight, possessing me. This was insane. My whole body was on fire. I moaned and thrust my hips inelegantly. This was... the best I'd ever felt. But... it could feel better- and the way he was holding me was giving me desperate ideas.

"Um... could we try like..." I closed my eyes and wrapped my hand behind my back, pulling Archie tight against me. He held my waist as I rutted against him and I bit my lip as I tried to work out to ask for what I wanted. "Uh, Arch...." I pressed my head into his neck and he stroked my hair.

"Hmmm?" He wasn't slowing down anytime soon and my thighs shook with the effort of holding myself upright.

"You uhm... do you have any ahh..."

"What?" He asked gently.

"Lube." I said, blushing furiously. Archie paused for a fraction of a second and I felt my whole chest get hot with embarrassment

"Sure." He pulled my head to one side so he could kiss my neck. "And what would you like me to do with that?" I writhed beneath him, panting. "Uh, I just... sometimes when I'm..." I hung my head. Oh god I was so hot and embarrassed. Archie pressed himself closer to me.

"You want me to touch you, Fee?"

"Yeah." I panted.

"You want me to finger you?"

"Yeah."

"Ok." He whispered in my ear, stroking my spine as he moved away briefly. I closed my eyes, because the light of the room was way too much for what I was feeling and I felt his weight back on the bed and leant into his touch. He stroked my hair, and wrapped his hand around my torso, clasping me tight and slowly running his fingers over my abs, catching my nipple and pinching it...

"Umph..." I bit back a whine and Archie moaned.

"Mmm, you like that?" He asked.

"Yeah." I whispered.

"Fuck yeah." He moaned and tugged on my other nipple gently, teasing me. He traced his fingers between my abs and slowly wrapped his hand around my dick again, stroking it softly. I thrust into his hand again, slower than before because he wouldn't let me move faster. I felt his hand caress my ass and I sighed softly as I heard him open the lube.

"Ok." He whispered. "I'll be real gentle, Fee..." I moaned as his thumb stroked my hole, and his fingers gently toyed with my taint. I could feel my cock twitching in his hand and I rocked back and forth on my hands and knees, craving more, more in every way. He was true to his word, slow and gentle, but as soon as I could feel him inside me I moaned at the sheer- god- painful sexy realisation of how vulnerable I was. How much of myself I was giving to him. How much I wanted him to have it, to have me. I was so weak, and so willing, such a damn... fucking... little... "Good boy, Felix." Archie breathed in my ear as he massaged my insides. I whimpered and felt the familiar churning in my balls. I must have been reacting more physically than I realised because Archie drew a sharp breath. "Oh good boyyyy...." He moaned. "Oh you fucking love this, don't you Felix?" I moaned and tried valiantly to thrust my hips forward, to give me more on every end, and Archie obliged me, storking harder, and thrusting his fingers into me. I could feel my legs burning in pain because of how long I'd been kneeling for- my arms had given up the fight some time ago and I was practically propped up by Archie as my thighs shook and my moans got louder. "Oh fuck, Fee." Archie moaned into my neck. "Shit, you're so...."

"Oh Archie." I whined.

"Good boy." He whispered. "Oh, fuck, Fee..." I shuddered and tensed up, grunting as Archie slowed down, milking my cock as it spilled all over me. I grunted, and it didn't seem to stop- I'd never come this hard in my entire life of wanking. I'd never felt my whole body go limbless like this as my cock just kept unloading and I let my mind go totally blank, just nothing except feeling this good.

As I shook and whined his his arms, Archie gently removed his hands and rolled us onto the bed, stroking my body and holding me tight as I tried to catch my breath. He held me for a minute before I could feel my body start to rebuild itself and I stretched out. I glanced up and he grinned at me.

"All good?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Yeah."

"Do you wax?" He ran his hand over my chest and I sighed deeply. I guess just... silent cuddling was out of the question.

"What kind of question is 'do you wax?!'"

"Or just naturally all buttery smooth?" I rolled my eyes. "I think chest hair is sexy."

"So find someone with chest hair!" I folded my arms. Way to fuck up the moment, dude.

"I want you more." He smiled at me. "I was just wondering if you were waxing because you thought it was hotter. It's not."

"Ok, you don't actually get a say yet Arch. And..."

"Oooh yet?" Archie grinned. "Oh man, you are so gonna regret that choice of words." I laughed.

"I get like... wisps here." I gestured to my pecs with a sigh. "So unless that ever decides to do something hot, imma shave it."

"Fair enough." Archie sighed. "You're still incredible."

"Well I'll hit you up again when I'm man enough for you." I huffed and Archie laughed, pulling me close.

"Stupid." He said. "I'm not waiting for however long THAT would take." I smiled at him and let myself be held, trusting him not to hurt me because of course he wouldn't. He was just teasing. He looked at me, with a sly thoughtful expression in his eyes.

"So uh..." I winced.

"So uh what?"

"I'm just curious, don't freak out on me..."

"Oh god." I smiled at him. "What? No promises."

"You... like a bit of ass play?" I laughed.

"Yeah." I shrugged. "I guess I never put a label to it because I didn't need to but ummm... well." I blushed as I looked at him. "I might be... a umm. You know...ah. Like. Passive..." I looked at Archie and he raised his eyebrows.

"Huh." He said. I thumped him.

"Ouch!"

"Huh?! What does HUH mean?"

"Just I assumed you wouldn't DREAM of bottoming." He said.

"Well... is that... are you....?" Archie shrugged and grinned at me.

"I switch." He said. "More than happy to be your top though."

"Wait, you can switch?"

"What do you mean you can switch?" Archie laughed. "Of COURSE you can switch, idiot."

"Oh. Huh."

"Oh huh?" Archie rolled his eyes at me. "What does 'oh huh' mean then?"

"It means... like... that could be cool." I mumbled. Archie grinned.

"We can work it out." He squeezed me. "Unless you don't want to." He said a second later. "Like unless you're having post o regrets?" I shook my head as I pressed it into his chest.

"I'm having why didn't I do this sooner regrets." I said. "Promise."

"Good." Archie said. "I'm not really a fuck him and forget him kind of guy."

"Nor am I." Archie snorted as he played with my hair.

"As if you'd know." He said.

"Well." I smiled into his chest. "I guess we'll have to fuck properly one day and you can find out."

----

We lay in bed and talked for hours, about nothing at all really. Eventually I noticed the light was getting dim and I sighed.

"I should head off." I said carefully. Archie nodded and sat up, depositing me off his lap.

"Will... so... are we...?" He winced and struggled with his words. I looked him over carefully. "Even though...." He sighed and gave up. I stroked his arm gently.

"Do you maybe wanna... Uhhh... try a date?" I suggested.

"A date date?"

"Yeah?" Archie smiled.

"Yeah, ok. I'd be into a date."

"You should dress up." I said casually. Archie burst out laughing.

"Oh do you like that?" He teased. I grinned and tucked my legs under my chin.

"Yeah, quite a bit actually." He pushed my hair off my face.

"You dress up too then." He said. "A nice, non branded button up and your hair all done." I pulled a face at him.

"I only do that when I'm trying to make people with boyfriends I don't like think I'm hot." I said.

"Damn. Maybe I'll have to get another boyfriend you don't like."

"Better fucking not." I said firmly. Archie laughed and stood up. I admired his body as he drifted around the room and threw my clothes at me. He noticed me looking at him and smiled smugly, and then he kindly returned the favour as he watched me dress; lying on the bed naked, eyeing me up hungrily. I wished he wouldn't. I really had to get home. I sighed and went to sit next to him, taking him in my arms.

"Uh. I had an amazing time Arch. I'll call, promise. Badger me if I don't." Archie bit his lip.

"Please don't flake." He said. "I really wanna play out my straight to gay jock fantasy." I grinned as I kissed his forehead and stood up.

"Yeah, I also have a few fantasies I wouldn't mind playing out." He punched me gently in the thigh.

"Night, hypebeast. Call me."

"Promise."

----

I sailed home on an absolute cloud of delight. For the first time in... forever.... I felt like I'd found peace. I had a stupid grin on my face and even as I approached my flat I couldn't get rid of it.

Kerry was home and he frowned as he looked at me.

"You look cheerful."

"Is that a problem?" Kerry shrugged.

"Is it?" He asked. I looked at him as I went for a beer.

"You know the... thing you've been bugging me about?"

"What of the million things I've been bugging you about are we talking about?"

"Ah...." I took a deep breath. I was maybe just happy enough to push through this. "The Archie thing."

"Oh." Kerry yawned. "Yeah, sure. Go on."

"Yeah. It's um... I reached a tipping point." I cracked the beer open. "Don't tell anyone though." Kerry rolled his eyes.

"Scouts honour." He said. "What kind of tipping point are we talking here?"

"A date." I smiled at my beer.

"With Archie?!" Kerry's eyes widened and he clinked his can against mine. "You had it in you?!"

"Apparently." I shrugged.

"We gotta celebrate!"

"I..." I winced as I looked at him. "I'm not ready to... I... I know you think the guys will be cool but..." Kerry sighed.

"Aight, we'll take it at your pace. Which is so fucking slow it does my head in, but it's your call."

"Thanks." I said.

"The guys will be cool." He said. "Trust me."

"Mmmph."

----

I couldn't sleep. Maybe two beers before bed wasn't the best idea I'd ever had... I tossed and turned and felt worked up and just after midnight I reached for my phone and without thinking... I called Archie.

"Too soon?" I asked as he, by some miracle, picked up.

"Ugh, call me sooner next time, I can't sleep." He whined. "You either, huh?"

"Too much in my head." I smiled and lay down, curling into a ball. "What do you do when you can't sleep?"

"Open Grindr and jerk off." I laughed.

"I accidently had my Bluetooth speakers on last time I jerked off." I told him. "My fucking flatmate heard everything."

"Eeesh dude!" He laughed. "That's pretty bad. One time my brother walked in on me practising blow jobs on a dildo."

"You're fucking with me."

"Na, truly. And I was still like 'na, this is what all straight dudes do." He laughed. "I think everyone knew before me."

"I think we have that in common." I said. I bit my lip. "Were your friends cool?"

"Yuh." Archie giggled. "I said everyone knew before I did. You might find that too, Fee. I mean I reckon Kerry..."

"Yeah he knows."

"Oh!" Archie sounded surprised. "Thought you weren't coming out?" I sighed.

"Kerry's a special case." I admitted. "I guess I'll come out. I have to eh? But I just... I..."

"You're not ready." Archie said. I bit my lip.

"Which won't work for you long term."

"It won't work for you long term either Fee, trust me." I sighed.

"Yep."

I cradled the phone and we talked about everything until I found myself mumbling nonsense and drifting to sleep. I could hear Archie laughing on the other end.

"Sweet dreams Felix." He said. "I might get up and play Warcraft."

"Nerd." I mumbled.

"Takes one to know one."

"Night Archie. I..." I smiled to myself. "I'll see you soon."

--- The Ultimate Boon ---

I couldn't hold off seeing him for long so I booked a table at the nicest Italian restaurant I could think of and told him to meet me there. I breezed through work almost high off the giddiness and took an early leave so I could make myself as hot as possible. I hit the gym, debating which feature I should work on to be looking as big as possible and wanted to hit everything all at once to just be the beefiest jock he'd ever seen. Arms and abs and my ass... I wanted it all to be the best.

I showered when I got home and agonised about shaving my ass. I wrote a pros and cons list in my head and reluctantly decided the very high probability of me nicking something ultra sensitive was too much of a risk. Archie would just have to deal with a hairy ass. And anyway, he said he liked hair! No- he said he liked chest hair which for some reason I just didn't seem to have. It was a little late to eat crusts or drink milk or do any old wives tale to fix that so I guess we were stuck with my gross hairless chest. At least it was big. Maybe that outweighed everything else.

I dressed up as much as I could. I styled my hair. I put on cologne and cursed the pimple that had shown up overnight on my chin. I could try to destroy it but the only thing worse than a pimple on your chin is an ugly pulsing red wound from hacking at a pimple on your chin. I'd learned that the hard way. Ugh. And I still had an hour to kill. I headed to the living room to try and relax and grunted at Oli.

"Woah." Oli looked me over. "Someone special huh?" I smiled thinly.

"Yeah."

"Nice." He looked surprised. Ugh. He and Kerry had obviously been talking. Since when did guys TALK? Was that something new that gen-Z's had conjured up? Although, technically I guess I was a gen-Z.... I debated just saying 'It's with Archie, you remember Archie....' But I couldn't work up the nerve. Maybe I could skate? Or work out again? But then I'd have to get ready again... I helped myself to a beer and Oli raised his eyebrows at me. "Getting fucked before a date, well I guess it's on brand." He said. I laughed.

"One beer." I said. "To calm the nerves." He nodded.

"Not a bad idea, only don't drink too much or you won't be able to get it up." I laughed.

"First date." I said. "Getting it up might not be his..." Oh. I winced. "Priority." I finished lamely, knowing it was way too late to take that back. I waited for the widened eyes, or the hollering or the... teasing or whatever. But Oli didn't react. Maybe he hadn't heard.

"Gimme a five letter word." He said. I frowned.

"Prick."

"Oh shit!" He laughed. "Wordle in ONE! I've never got it in ONE before! Did you cheat?"

"What are you fucking talking about?"

"Are you not doing Wordle?" I laughed.

"No? What?" And him telling me all about the game of the month which apparently everyone and their kids were playing seemed to fill in the time really well before I had to head out. I thanked him silently for the distraction.

----

I was early and I sat down and ordered a beer.

"And um... something sugary? Like a pink cocktail if you have one?" The waiter kind of gave me a look. Ew. Yeah. That would be gross- only that's what Archie drinks!

"We have a manhattan?" He said. I shrugged hopelessly.

"Boozy and sweet." I said. "That's all I know he likes...." The waiter's eyes softened. Huh. I guess buying a horrible girly drink for your date sits WAY better if it's a GAY date. I guess that makes a lot of sense actually. I can't believe I found myself here. Well. No. I can believe it. The waiter nodded and adjusted his mask.

"We can do boozy and sweet." He said. "Pink a requirement?" I laughed and felt myself heating up.

"Uh... no, I guess not." He nodded and sailed away, leaving me to my awkward, way too nervous state. I tried to breathe deeply. It's not like this was some random tinder guy- this was ARCHIE. I knew him almost as well as the palm of my own hand. I don't know why I was freaking out.

I spotted him at the doorway and my face broke into a smile. Oh, he'd really pulled himself together. He looked even better than on his date with Brock, or maybe I just thought that because I knew I wanted him now. His hair was still curly, but he'd tamed it somehow so it sat it ringlets, instead of the frizzy mess I expected, and he was wearing like- slacks? He owned SLACKS? And a white linen button up with the sleeves rolled up which more than anything made my heart sing, because THAT meant he was comfortable enough to stop hiding from me.

He grinned as he spotted me and I stood up. We paused for a fraction of a second as he reached me, and he giggled nervously and rolled his eyes as he stepped close and pulled me in for a hug. I let myself curl around him, holding him as tight as I could and breathing in his scent... which was wildly different than usual. I paused as he started to release me and bent over to press my nose into his neck.

"What is that?" I marvelled as we sat down. "You smell like holidays."

"Oh fuck, I thought I'd washed off the cigarettes..." I laughed but Archie was checking himself. "I haven't smoked all afternoon!" He pouted. "How do I...." I shook my head at him.

"I meant like Raro, dude... like coconuts..."

"OH." Archie blushed. "Oh well, that's much better. I went to the body shop and they were trying to sell me all this gross like 'leather and sandalwood' shit and I said 'Could you please show me what you would sell to a teenage girl going to Prom', so I think we ended up with strawberries and coconuts..."

"I love it." I grinned at him. "And no durries all day??! Archie, that's awesome!"

"All afternoon." He corrected me. "And now I'm majorly grouchy. But I'm trying."

"So proud of you."

"Ew." He laughed and glanced up as our drinks arrived. His eyes sparkled. "An espresso martini? How did you know? That's my favourite?!" I rolled my eyes.

"Colour me shocked." I silently made a promise to tip the waiter 50% of whatever the bill was.

His eyes ran over me and he smiled to himself as we looked at the menu and talked about work. Well yeah, I'd tried harder for him than I had in my entire life, and it was really obvious, but he probably appreciated it. Our feet caught each other under the table and he looked up at me and smiled.

"Half expected you not to show." He said.

"Fair. But dumb." I said. "I'm in way too deep." Archie seemed to melt across the table from me. Good. I was laying it on thick, but it was only half as much as I actually felt. I'd never... I'd just never. He cleared his throat.

"Are you actually carb counting? Because I want arancini and pasta and that garlic bread thing." I laughed.

"Can you pack that away?"

"You'll help." He said. "Are we sharing?"

"Yeah, if you share?" He laughed.

"Well I'll eat off your plate either way."

"Sweet. Mushroom arancini, garlic bread- the ravioli?" It sounded like a lot.

"And a steak?" Archie's eyes widened pleadingly. Hmmm. Yeah, ok. I couldn't really imagine he would be able to manage like a third of all that, and besides...

"I thought you were vegetarian?"

"No!" Archie laughed. "Where'd you get that? Although I guess I'm a LITTLE conscious of the environment but I'm on a date!"

"Ok- venison then?" I suggested. "Because beef is like ultra shit for the environment."

"Cows actually manage pastures better than sheep or deer..."

"Does the water and methane not kind of null that argument?" Archie laughed.

"I forget you're way smarter than me." He shook his head. "I never date guys smarter than me." He sighed. "Actually though, venison sounds awesome, let's do that."