All Comments on 'Private Island Ch. 01'

This has great potential, bring on the rest!

The guy comes home and we learn what the wife had worn..."Debbie was dressed in a dark gray knee length skirt and white blouse. She had already discarded the matching jacket on a chair." Why is that mentioned? The dialogue is pathetic.

Did you mention she is a low paid typist in a pool and he is a used car salesman at a low end lot? It says all pictures and videos of the company to do as they wish with them. Then they realize it is like Hedonism which means nudity and sex happen. Lets put two and two together and get lots of money for the resort from selling on line porn of the couple. Of course swearing someone to secrey is about as good as printing out everything and trying to get a peoples newspaper to print it. You dont spend several thousands on a couple and then let them say no and stay dressed all the time. They want payback for their money and sex and drugs will give them that. In all reality they will become prostitutes for the resort. You trashcan shit like that invitation, my wife and I use to get them regularly and they make good recyclables for the community. YOu didnt mention the medical exams and STD checkups that such a place would require.

Sounds as though Debbie is a future internet porn star at best and a sex slave at worst! Ken deserves whatever happens. And I like detail so long as it furthers the story. Debbie's clothing tells us she is probably a professional with good if conservative taste.

You have a very good start. I can't wait to hear about what happened down in the Carribean. I got a kick out of the comment regarding "meaningless detail". It's that meaningless detail that makes a story like yours worthwhile and seperates a very good writer from, well, a rather silly commentator. Don't you dare leave any details out of your next installment. In fact my only criticism is that you might want to leave a little more of the story in each part. Maybe put in two pages worth for each chapter but of course you have to arrange your story according to what makes sense as well. Good job. Keep going.

Keep it coming.

A good start, but not much eroticism yet.

So far its great but cant wait for the more erotic parts. Good build up. Interesting story line.

You can see the trouble comming with the statement "didn't read the rest".

I get all for free tomorrow without paying for it. not to good intro. looks like it written for people who have fun out of others feeling not to good afterwards. for people with a sadistic characteristic.

In this case I mean the man and the woman. She will turn into some sort of sex slave and he will become some sort of cuckold who eats cum from her cunt. After she has had any number of men and women. BUT in the end it will be okay because they still love each. They will never be the same again but that doesn't matter does it? Stupid people do stupid things.

Well it wouldn't be any good for a story if they don't take the bait.So I hope the author has some really kinky things for the sweet little pussy to do.I'll be watching for the next chapter. Thanks for the post....Rich

stupid anonymoi write stupid things...

Write pathetic attemps at humour.