All Comments on 'Queendom 07: Swordsmaid'

There was a delay in publishing, things got a little out of hand. Since it had taken longer than usual, I had to publish an earlier draft. It wasn't put through the usual editorial scrutiny, but I'll update it to the final edit in a few days. Those who don't mind a few spelling errors, and a slightly longer read-time, please enjoy.

Fred, please do let me know as before, if there's any particular fantasy you'd like for Elanor. If it is in alignment with her fate, she'd be more than happy to give it a try. I think you'll find chapter 9 particularly delicious.

Labbatt, thank you for the kind words, for specifying what you appreciated so clearly. Elanor was born a Princess, and unlike her rebellious sister, she had always been the good daughter. She takes pride in keeping her feet to the ground, though like all else, she may falls short at times. I assure you, her heart, her core, will always stay grounded, regardless the eccentric plans Fate has in store for her.

Horsehairblade, thank you for sending much love in Queen Elanor's way. All ears for your suggestions, for Elanor's future tasks. Like my friend Lene says, I'm here to learn how to write. I understand how it takes you out of the story, the sudden mention of specific cultures and real-world practices. A better narrator would have fleshed out such kinks with effectively layered world-building, from the very first chapter. I aim to be better, so the feedback is very helpful. While weaving these scenarios, what I try to capture essentially is the feel of it. The feel of a particular degree of domination, of subjugation, its resultant shame, and of course the arousal that it gives births, in the Queen. If it needs be cynical, I'll go with heavy chains. If it needs be ritualistic, a bit leather and iron gear. If it needs be sensual, surely shibari. I specify the cultural elements only in cases where it needs be evident, for the mood to translate well. I'll try to not go overboard, but as I said, I'm still learning.

randomuser7*3*7, thank you for the encouragement. I'll update my profile page every week, regarding story updates, publishing status etc.

Thanks to all anonymous feedback, especially for going into great detail, about what interested you.

Lene... Parts of the chapter were rushed, parts came to me at the very last minute, and it was a messy process, weaving in the old with the new. Did I drop the ball at places? Possibly.. The middle is more kinky, but from page seven the Queen turned so slutty on a dime, that I wondered if Elanor's ancestral roots could be traced back to the LaRend Royalty. Well, inspiration is a kind of lineage. So, as much as I love to hear constructive criticisms, be the cruel mistress if need be. Considering the lineage, in some degree it would be akin to self-flagellation. Now, is that kinky, or slutty? You be the judge :)

I dedicate this chapter to Ran Masaki and Masahito Segawa, for adding to the magic of 80s.

I'm not sure what to make of this story. I like the overall setting and idea as well as the writing. And the erotic tension is certainly well executed. But I'm not so sure about some of the undertones, it's either too cliche or too misogynistic (can't really decide which one exactly, maybe both). I hope the queen doesn't end up as a mindless sex slave or something, I think there's a lot of potential here for the queen to develop her own sexuality and keep/reassert her agency through her trials and tribulations.

Another great chapter! Too much talking perhaps, between the minister and the pastor and the queen. But made up for it all by the second half! Bella's naked adventure was okay, but it'd be better if you didn't keep switching the Dom/Sub status. Loved the tease about the orc queen! Please continue the story.

In this chapter I liked most Bella enf adventure, It was sweet to see her tasting her own medicine XD. I hope in the future both Eleanor and Bella would have nude escape, two pretty woman in their birthday suits it sound good.

A very interesting story. When I read the first chapter it was much too slow for me. I decided to leave it for a few chapters and then return to it. I am glad that I did. I enjoyed several of the chapters, but admittedly not all. The first 2 chapters were too slow, painfully slow at times to be frank. This is the price that readers pay when the author is trying to establish something that is a complex and more substantial work. It is not easy. Well done to LadyA for attempting this. Whilst the pace was initially not for me I found myself being hooked and reeled in. I read the entire 7 chapters from start to finish last night. I could not stop reading. That says something about the quality of the writing and the tale that is being woven. I did not enjoy the last chapter though - Chapter 7 - as it seemed to go off into tangents. I ended up skimming through it rapidly. I had no interest in the swordsman or the fat man. I want Bella and Elanore. There is a Hollywood screenwriting book titled 'Save the Cat' which basically tells you that if your story is about saving the cat then write the story about saving the cat. That is what the reader wants. That is why the reader or cinema goer has turned up for. Thus this is my criticism of this story - I want to read about Bella and Elanore. It is a slow boiler but by now Bella really needs to be the Domme doing the Domming and not always freelancing it out to third parties. I have loved the psychological discussions between Bella and Elanore, delighted in how slowly - yes, slowly - Bella has gradually become more confident, more knowledgeable about domination and the mindset of the sub. How she has begun to challenge Elanore - especially in the contract negotiations - and played some psychological games in their conversations. But she, Bella, always falls short. She hesitates and pulls back. Understandably so, as this is her Queen. But Elanore is also her sub and, to get to the point as I too am now waffling, Bella just needs to get on with it. I love the conversations where Bella challenges and mindfucks Elanore. I would love to hear more such conversations as Bella decides to take over. We were going there, I felt, but then Chapter 7, for me, seemed to go off the rails. It just felt things that had little to do with the plot whilst that darn cat needed to be saved. LadyA is teasing us with Bella's thoughts of wanting to use her hand or crop to put Elanore in her true and rightful place - please get on with it Bella! Use that hand on her bottom, pick up a riding crop! :-) The Domestication process is fascinating - I really would like to see Elanore undergo the psychological training and submission with the true Leash Master... but how would she then be able to function as Queen as, so we are told, there is no way back to even being human once a woman has been so trained? I toyed last night with the possibilty of Bella seeking out the true Leash Master, learning the psychological training techniques and then bringing them for use on Elanore. The dog outfit and training was wonderful. What a predicament for a Queen to end up in - to be dressed and treated... and trained... as a bitch dog. I hope we see Elanore trained this way again but this time with Bella doing the training. Would it be wrong for Bella to drug Elanore and for the Queen to wake up in the dog outfit again... seeing only the feet and knees of her riding crop Mistress before her? I would love for Elanore to begin to submit further to Bella, to realise that it is happening and to be in mental anguish / conflict about what is happening to her. I would for Bella to realise this and to revel in it as she becomes more Domme. I went to bed last night thinking of how Elanore and Bella proceed from here. I envisaged the Queen summoning Bella for a frank discussion. At first, very formal. Distant. But then both of them opening up - Elanore admitting to how the dog training made her feel. Ashamedly admitting that, with hindsight, that she was secretly aroused at being trained by her uncle. Or perhaps Bella taking the bull by the horns and being very frank, very dominant and taking charge of the conversation... as she did in the previous contract negotiations. I look forward to how LadyA is going to get both of them back in the roles that they should be in. But I want Bella to be doing the domming now. I want her verbally and physically taking charge. I want Elanore resisting but ultimately submitting mentally and physically. I want her conflicted as she submits. I want so much more of those wonderful conversations where Bella takes control, puts Elanore in her place, points out that she is a submissive and Bella is a Domme. (I was disappointed when Bella agreed that Elanore would not call her Mistress during the daytime - I yearn for Bella to make Elanore call her Mistress again at any time, day or night, when they are alone.). Why have I ranted on? I am enjoying this story immensely. LadyA is weaving a wonderful tapestry that has so much potential for many chapters to come. I hope they get written.

By Leash Master I meant the Domestication trainer in the other country - Baron Von Bushy Moustache or whatever his name is. Would love to see Elanore struggle physically and mentally with such training. Would love to see Bella flourish and revel in the power as she transforms her Queen to her slave.

I apologise LadyA. I take it all back about not liking Chapter 7. I read all 7 chapters in one go late at night. By the time I got to 7 I was tired, cranky and desperately wanting - you have me hooked - Bella to go full Femdom on Elanor. Having now re-read it in the cold fresh light of day I think it is a good chapter. I can see how you are setting up the next stage in the development of the relationship between them both - between Mistress and her slave. Looking forward to the coming events.

May we have an update on progress whether good or bad please? Cutting this chapter just as Bella was about to resume activities with the queen since that major rebellion was an unbelievable tease.

Damn 2 months no chapter

It's my favorite story right now, can't wait for the next chapter.

For other like me who are waiting for the next chapter. There is another author that does similar type of story called Queens Disgrace: https://www.literotica.com/s/queens-disgrace-bk-01-ch-01

I hope that this story does not parallel some other stories where the orcs conquer everything. I really like this story and the foreshadowing wories me.

Is the author okay? why isn't he uploading?