by willieone
was a great follow up to the first chapter can not wait for more
Champires or Veetahs lol. cute. It was a sweet feel-good story. I think you could write more about this family. You left several really good potential storylines with the otherwise extinct species that the girls are and those who may want to find them. There is of course the future generations coming. And there is the pack and maybe even some other vampires that could impact them. And the gift that Shane has could lead to some adventures. I'd love to see you go further with it. I think it would be good to get someone to read it over. There were alot of small mistakes that could be cleaned up easily before it is submitted. I might have liked to see you slow down the pace of the second chapter. I felt like it came to an end so quickly but in the end I really enjoyed this story about this great mixed family you created.
I really like how this storyline is moving along. I can't wait to see what happens next (provided there is a next chapter.)
My little story is about this little family getting together.It is not about being chased by anyone or Shane leading them into different adventures.If that is what you're looking for then the next and final chapter which was submitted yesterday,will be a big let down for you.
I really like your story but I would suggest you pay more attention to grammar. Maybe even get someone to do some editing for you. Your story has great potential but it jumps around a little. Also as I said earlier, it has some problems with grammar and that makes it harder to read. To be honest I usually don't even read stories that have a lot of grammar mistakes to the end. Yours I read because I really liked the story.
Loved the sstatement of Champires or Veetahs it o funny.
Even if the next chapter is the last one it is still a good romantic story and I love it.
but "Champires or Veetahs" made me chuckle. Actually a longer story just based around the premise of the various family businesses and the four different relationships would be cool. Lots of potential there.
love you funny play on the mixing of the vamps and chetas if that does happen i can not wait to see what you are going to call them just glad i got to this story when you where already done or i would have to send my betas after you to make you finish