All Comments on 'Reluctant Kisses'

Great writing I was intrigued. But this turned a corned and made the story not for me. So he is fucking everyone around and just wants her as a breading machine. Yuck. Again good writing.

Enjoyed part 1 - real noncon, but you lost me when he decided to fuck everything with legs.

He created a relationship he didn’t want. I can’t wait until this “training” makes her plan with the nanny, whom she has been secretly Korean with while she reaches the nanny English. I hope they steal his money, leave him for dead, and run away together to raise their babies who are half-siblings.

While well-written, here are some suggestions I would make. First of all, the story seems to be mostly about what this guy is thinking. What about the victim and heroine? Time has passed, she was made pregnant and had the baby. How about recounting that period, in her mind, her thoughts, her hatred, her frustration at having her body and fate robbed, to be made into an unwilling incubator. Her thoughts about her ultimate fate, about how she did not want this baby and being a bred object and caring for "his baby" makes her feel, plus the prospect of having more. How is she supposed to feel, like a woman, a slave or a bred animal...

The other problem is one that is frequent with this type of stories, where perfectly normal or smart women become so naive and dumb and unthinking , immediately after being taken and all goes downhill for their characterization The heroine of this story, for there is no other way to look at it, cannot just have uttered those words, such as "I love you", unless it is because it is explained she is playing a game of survival. This is not like some guy who went overboard on a date or casual meeting and penetrated her and she had a child.

This is a guy who kidnapped her, abused her and held her and holds her against her will and who has never really shown her much in the way of affection. Since the story has not described any type of reason why she would have shocked and terrorized by now into "loving" this guy, there is no justification for her "jealousy" , within the story, not even by irrationality. The woman should actually be be a bundle of nerves and mental instability by now. The way she is portrayed, she is still a strongly willed person and here lies the contradiction. She is not, to used the most used cliche in this type of story "broken".

Another implausible element is the hiding of what is going on from all of this people. Even with the language barrier, people are able to convey things or to gather what might be happening.

Keep writing.

You have a habit of giving too much detail at times in a way that raises unnecessary questions or contradictions.

You made him a lawyer, which while a high paying profession isn't one to.make him sufficiently wealthy on its own enough to afford what he has done. Additionally, you made him a lawyer that is famous enough for tabloids to dedicate precious column space to, yet our librarian had no idea who he was. Also does this rich and famous person buy trashy tabloids regularly? He has apparently found a whole crew of medical professionals from Europe that somehow never learned English, so does he speak their obscure dialect? Same with the au pair. Does he speak Korean as well? They are both at his private estate "hundreds of miles" from help (does he own land several times bigger than Yellowstone?), but he apparently commutes to his office and hosts parties.

Last and worst, how was this allegedly brilliant LAWYER unable to easily convince his Stockholm-syndrome suffering captive that what she saw in a notoriously loose with the truth TABLOID wasn't accurate, so they could both return to the relationship status quo?