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All Comments on 'The First Fantastic Three Some'

by ChaffII

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  • 3 Comments
wylderoswylderosabout 3 years ago

Would have been better if the narrator had expressed how he felt about watching his future wife get bred and how he feels about it now. Mostly this story read as simple reportage: I snuck around the kitchen while Vanessa and Kyle groped and kissed. They did this and that. There were a lot of orgasms. This is telling, not showing. Too many qualifying asides. Not enough dialogue. I never felt an "in the moment" moment. Not very erotic!

ChaffIIChaffIIabout 3 years agoAuthor

Well write and learn TY

26thNC26thNCabout 3 years ago

Can’t be a cuck without no angst and you got no angst.

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userChaffII@ChaffII
3 Stories
7 Followers
I've been on here for 18 years the stories I've read and turned my head (both of them). What can I say I love it, let me know what you think.