All Comments on 'Revenge in Advance - A Sequel'

You must continue this, very good

while crazy as all get out, people CAN be pathologically selfish.

that makes the ex-wife's actions plausible, even if she turned into a complete monster, it was one bad selfish decision at a time. it didn't happen all at once.

Awesome job! Loved this story! What a dumb bitch.

but devolved into fantasy, lacking any plausibility. Unlike the real world, fiction has to make sense.

If she’d actually killed him, she’d probably have gotten less than 30 years.

It seems like there have been a lot of over the top stories in LW lately, and some of them have actually been good. Once you get past the suspension of disbelief part, this one was pretty decent.

Maybe that ought to be the next contest, an over the top challenge: how rad can you write!

I enjoyed the story, even with the secret compound full of everything an aggrieved husband needs to get revenge on his evil wife!

Definitely needs a sequel, where the evil mastermind of Fidelity suffers every punishment inflicted on her victims.

With FTDS gone I'm thrilled that someone has picked up the flag and run with it. Especially for one of the horrific Edrider stories. Every story that woman wrote needs an ending. The only part about this story that I didn't like was the ending where they wanted him to move into the "compound". That whole setup sounded a little creepy, especially as far as the kids were concerned. Living there and being afraid to go out would not have been a good life for anyone. But I would like to see a clever continuation where he takes down Pat and the MMAS. Thanks for the great first story and I look forward to future stories.

5 stars

This addition goes beyond fantasy and into absurdity. He didn't like that the wife was supposedly monitoring his movements and did not seem to trust him. Well, son of a bitch! He turns on his spy cameras, shadow apps, phone taps, hidden recorder, ghost email apps and learns she should not be trusted. It sure was lucky he had so much shit already in place. Many faithful loving husbands lack his foresight to spend thousands on security and spyware just in case the wife wants to castrate him and rape his ass. I wonder how many wives get away with that shit? This guy was very smart!

first time posters writing a story that has the term 'ass rape' anywhere in the story. Some would call it a touchy subject. I suggest starting out a bit less flamboyantly. Maybe a butt plug and a 12 inch dildo for starters and leave ass rape for after you master the easy stuff.

Stories come up lacking when superman fixes everything.

It's not a sequel to the original story because the motives of all the original characters are different. The whole cuckolding thing is never even hinted about in the original work. You might as well write a 'sequel' to 'Gone with the Wind' where it turns out Rick was secretly a nazi and just never mentioned it all in the first film.

I think the original work where one spouse tells the other one upfront that if they cheat, the wronged party will have them assualted and raped is a really interesting premise (not the least because the popularity of btb stories where cheating wives get sold to mexican whorehouses indicate lots of people seriously believe that would be just) is an interesting premise. How do you cope with the idea, when presented up front, that your partner has that much hate in them and would plan that revenge on you?

I think it was coiwardly of ed to make the threatened spouse a man rather than a woman because there isn't a burn the husband sub genre to the same extent but it's an interesting idea and by making the wive's real motive a desire to cheat herself rather than righteous vengence you've removed anything even remotely interetsing about the original story.

For that charge one must have actually tried to kill someone. Since the wife wasn't trying that, the charge would be attempted felonious assault since she doctored the stew. That would give her 3-7 years. Your story was way out there in fantasy land.

Unless you were deliberately going for absurdity, the movie is "Casablanca," not "Gone With the Wind"!

I liked this better than the man-hating bitch story. You know I never read his stories anymore after reading this story about the man-hating bitch. He's never read by me anymore after I read that story. But this ending-I really want more-I want Pat and her man-hating bitches in prison without parole or on death row. Fuck that itch Pat hard, please.

Nope, so far out of reality its ridiculous. Fiction still needs some realism, you went way way out of orbit. 1*

If you think you can do better than do so.

She put in half the bottle when told to put in a couple drops. Layup in court to prove.

If all evidence was admissible, there would be no trial. She would plead out.

All in all, just as absurd as the original.

I mean, it's like a James Bond movie. No one complains when Bond out fights, out shoots, and out thinks the bad guy, right? It was fantasy, but I enjoyed it.

An absurd sequel to an absurd story. I suppose it works on that level, although removing the tacked on cuckolding motive and the suspension of belief breaking coincidences like having all that spy stuff setup in advance and this could have been a a cold splash of reality in the face of the ridiculous original tale. I would have preferred that, but I still consider this an above average first try for this place.

Thanks for the story.

Cog

I'm boggled. Not the best submission, but perhaps a writer in progress

This whole thing with MMAS and Pat. Well enough known, multiple other incidents, but no one knows who she is other than someone who was cheated on once? Groups of wives both want her services and find her? It is a super hush hush, intricate system using meds, and follow on contracts that involve kidnapping services, mutilations, etc... so employees that are paid enough and trained to commit specific felonies, hires government contractors. Only charges $1600 for the service, and despite the women being able to reach her, no one else can? And she is movie villain enough to explain how she vets women and how her processes work? Never checks men for recorders? Meets them face to face so they can identify her or even be part of a sting.

And then there is the counter organization which has PIs, safehouses, free legal, etc, and doesn't charge? All for some group no one in the government seems particularly anxious about tracking down, despite apparently being trivial to do so.

Folk have commented about the plausibility and suspension of disbelief, but it just isn't a good plot. The only folk who will like it are the BtB audience who don't care as long as the wife 'loses' in the end.

Keep working on your storytelling, and try to make things more grounded and relate-able and thanks for the submission.

Your ending was certainly better than the original story. Damn scary stuff even if it is fiction. I had better watch a comdy on tv tonight before bed time. Forestall any nightmares.

OK it gave 'a' close to the original, but first you need to re-imagine the original and then, in TV terms, jump the shark.

For the sequel to happen, the original could not take place and without the meeting in the original, Oscar would not be warned about the stew and would be either dead or a chemical eunuch.

Renee goes mad or is so completely fucking gullible she would be dangerous around her kids, in what universe is castrating her husband and turning him into a slave a nice change and harmless fun?

While we are still over the shark, it's fortunate that she has had so many issues in the past that Oscar has a load of soft and hardware in place to spy on her. Not only that, it just so happens that Bill is not only aware of MMAS he has a whole compound and industry set up to bring them down.

Sorry I have conversed with Ed, I have no doubt he would be both shocked and laughing at this story. I know his are over the top but I could imagine a sort of real life thing but I expected the Hulk and Superman to swoop in. Believe me, there would be no trial, first of all nothing really happened. Also, lets try and visit reality for a minute, how would either of these organizations possibly exist in this world without being found out? I would much rather have had a decent thoughtful response than a truly silly preteen response.

Since this is fiction and all. AND as HDK pointed out: the protagonist already had several thousand dollars invested in assets specific to gathering intel. These assets were then coincidently forward deployed where they could the most good.....

Funny thing is when the first wife cheated and I found out, the emotional impact was catastrophic. I couldn’t even think straight.

There are so many things to challange but what the hell. It's fantasy and I enjoyed the story.

Write a story where the husband has every bit of surveillance equipment that ever existed already in place and also a lawyer friend who has a fucking security compound with 24/7 lab to test any suspicious pies or cakes ffs.🙄

I won't even get into the legal situation and her billion year sentence on devil's island (may as well have been).

Another funny part was how he went into the house armed and left ready to start ww3 with all his fucking guns he had stashed everywhere.

One of my normal complaints is the incredibly low IQ of the wife character and the authors need for said wife to be less intelligent than the average denizen of a garden pond for the plot to work.

With this story that's the least of your problems.

If you finish the story make sure he cures cancer and his ex gets aids........just to round it off.

Oh and a super model new girlfriend who is more subservient than a Geisha with an inferiority complex.

Anything with an anti cuckold theme gets my vote. A little.over the top, but that's what makes it fun. I wasn't a fan of the original at all. This one, I liked a great deal. I like to see evil go down, whether man or woman. Keep writing and take down Pat and her organization. Save the husbands. Look past the nit picking and take the constructive criticism and use it. You have a good start, and will only get better.

Rick is in Casablanca not Gone with the Wind. Just FYI.

I agree with HDK. I can usually manage to suspend disbelief in the interests of allowing people to explore their fantasies but this was just absurd.

I can't feckin sign ... I'm not a noni

Though it may have jumped more into fantasy and beyond fiction. But hey write it as you see after all it's your story.

Dc6370 was not quite right on the attempted murder charge. In some states, the fact that the amount of the drug that could cause death in conjunction with the forcible felony (intended the drug to cause a permanent disability-chemical castration) would qualify an initial charge of attempted first degree murder. At trial or plea bargaining, a lesser included offense verdict could be rendered. Granted, the actions legal combinations in the story are not likely, but by letter of the law could be done.

this story was soooo ridicules made me laugh thro that whole thing lol it was entertaining tho

The original story was interesting because it dealt with a lack of trust that went far beyond normal. However, key to that story was that the wife loved her husband but had her own issues. A sequel dealing with the original story would have been interesting.

Instead you went way over the top and pretty much pulled out the BTB misogynist handbook. Out of the blue, the wife's plan is now to turn her husband into a not just a cuckold but a eunuch. And spy gadgets, can't have enough spy gadgets. Spy gadgets are so much better than actually dealing with the human emotions that would come from original set-up. It is a very average story, sure you doused in it in gravy, but it is still pretty much the same btb story that we have read a hundred times.

I was a criminal prosecutor for 10 years. I worked with, and against, many, many public defenders, and my best friend for the last 45 years was a public defender his whole career. Most public defenders have problems with authority figures and many of them are holier than thou pains in the ass, BUT, every one I ever knew cared a whole lot, even a scary whole lot, about their clients, AND, they were competative as hell and cared a great deal about their reputations. This author knows nothing about trial law or the legal system.

Loved it. Thanks

I saw a public defender in action and was not impressed. Looked overworked, underpaid, and the care factor of nil. Often wondered why the public defenders where on the same floor as the District Attorneys prosecuting hoards. Talked with their client about 15 mins total for the defense of their case spanning months.

Lawyers are a necessary evil, do not think by going into court you will get justice, you may win your case and that may be enough but you will have to pay the bloodsuckers.

requires way too much suspension of disbelief. I'm surprised you didn't make him a navy seal with the CMH.

Kept thinking "ya right". took me out of the story too many times.

Keep on trying though.

i hope you continue this and have them take down the mmas. they deserve it.

I don't know which story is more fucking sick and depraved, the original or THIS. God damn some of you people need therapy.

I don't think anyone could suspend their disbelief long enough to read this half way through. A Judge and Court on the premises of the compound?????? Are you nuts?? Lame, stupid and pathetic.

Really?

A resident safe compound with a lab and a judge? But only 3 free beers?

The original was a demented fantasy so you had a lot to work with.

I didn't like Renee being altered to the point of wanting to chemically neuter and enslave her husband while cuckolding him and that she already was a cheating slut.

I think she was deranged enough as written in the original story.

I think it was incongruous with the original plot to try and turn him into a cuck eunuch after the warning he received as it warned him and if the plan was really to neuter and cuck him, they didn't need to warn him at all.

This very negatively impacted your story where sticking to the original plot would have served you well.

I still appreciate a rebuttal to what I consider to be the written ramblings of a festering and deranged mind. Eld can write with talent but his some of his gears are spinning in empty spaces.

I'm not qualified to judge public defenders, though I'm quite sure that they are nowhere near as incompetent as this story makes them seem.

The one thing that caught my untrained eye, and I'm sure any public defender would catch it, was the reveal of the tapes at trial. There is a thing called discovery, where all the evidence against the accused must be given to the defense BEFORE trial, to allow them to prepare a defense against it.

Sorry but this went from enjoyable to utterly stupid very fast. They say to write what you know, apparently you didn’t take that advice. The lack of real world knowledge about several subject makes this story just dumb.

Sorry but this was so contrived it was appalling. As other posters have said public defenders work hard at what they do. I was looking forward to some kind of decent sequel but ended up with this. There were so many holes in this plot you could have lost a herd of wildebeest down one of them. Convenient too that Oscar's buddy Bill just happened to know of a gated and secure compound. That was so large you needed a map. It just so happened to have a lab with a tech that lived on site. Not only that but it just happened that a judge lived there too. WOW convenient huh? Not only that but they arrest the wife a few hours after he left her. But I guess they just happened to have an onsite Police department there too. Best of all was how the food was free how the hell could this place run? I know that this is fiction but hey add a little realism to it.

That being said if you had sat down and planned this out properly it could have been a good story. I know it appealed to the mindless we have already seen that. But next time you want to complete a story please take the time to plan it out.

Apparently the wife was a selfish scheming cheating whore, for years, and this dumb fuck husband was clueless? When did she have time to fuck around, and with whom? And three of her friends were in on the whole scheme, and none of the other husbands knew about it? For years?

Just too preposterous to be enjoyable. More like a cartoon story, including the characters, the safe house compound, with its own judge and courtroom!? The more I think about this story the more ridiculous it becomes.

Thanks for trying, but this isn't fiction, its science fiction. These people are from a different planet.

The original story had left a bad taste of shit in my mouth since I read it. Thanks for the rinse and spit! Lol. Hopefully the original story author isn’t around anymore to Soil your perfect conclusion

I made it as far as the compound with a 24 hour canteen, on a local lawyer's speed dial. The original story was odd but I thought I could imagine the confrontation between hubby and wife when he got home. Instead, she's (previously completely unrevealed) sitting at home like suzie homemaker, secretly plotting to turn him into a eunich (sp?)? I can suspend reality, but these actoons just don't follow the original that well, in my humble opinion. Thanks for trying. No score.

I see this author has the same image, and opinion, of women that I do! This is what come to LW for, to fuel my woman-hating fantasies! Just kiddin', folks.

In a badly conceived plot.

Really weak writing when the husband surprisingly has the house bugged, lawyer that knows of this super secret marital insurance scheme and a super secure compound with canteen, school for kids and CIA level intel capabilities.

I was disappointed that this sequel did not develop and explored the conflict and emotions of both wife and husband as they work through what the insurance policy means for the marriage.

I will agree with the author that I could not accept or stay married. But it would have been a better story without all the husbands sudden advantages and if the wife’s plot line did not go to wanting a cuckhold eunuch. Why not add big cocked aliens with mind control powers that are here to take over the world through pussy power. Oh wait I think that has been written already LOL.

The compound is too good to be real but great fun. Thanks for fixing the original ending. Renee was a horror. Please follow up with another. Maybe from the perspective of one of the other husbands that Oscar will help.

and lets the cure take on its own form, TK U MLJ LV NV

I thought it was a better ending and also it set up an avenue for a short series. As for the comment that the writing was a little week, I think that they are looking for a story when it is only an alternate ending, I thought he did relatively well putting it together and keeping the length down. Looking forward to the next episode.

1 star

I understand that these stories are just made up fantasies, but there’s usually some kind of grounding in reality. This seems more like a dream sequence of a mentally, if not physically, broken man. By that I mean the character Oscar, not the author. I’m not sure what exactly the author intended for this story, satirical or serious follow up to Edrider’s original, but it was just too far out there to be a good second chapter. I’m at an age where I believe just about anything is possible, but I’d believe death rays from Mars killings TRump over this. Just saying.

Just to many holes from reality

I didn’t read the first story, but it didn’t feel like I was lost.

I had a little trouble keeping up with the change of POV character.

A more creative story than typical of those I’ve read.

...until the part about drinking stew. Who the aitch-ee-double-hockey-sticks drinks stew?

Good job on plot and dialogue

I felt it went really quick, for what at times sounded real-time instead of a recap

4 stars

How is this fantasy story any less believable than one about a 48 year old white mother leaving a 30 year marriage, loving husband and 3 children, to run away with the mythical 13 inch bbc that she had sex with just once? Damn, that was a long sentence, but you get the point. It's just a fantasy, just a story, just fiction.

Was so ridiculously over the top that any sequel almost has to jump the shark as well.

punishable by being drowned in cask of Chivas Regal. Everything in excess kills.

but requires serious suspension of disbelief. A compound that has a technical lab, district magistrate, etc? Hmmm, a bit fantastical.

Excellent BTB of a murderous bitch. Need another to burn the others.

This wasn't.

But closer to science fiction.

the original was such a steaming pile of buzzard puke that I could care less about being true to the original. And yeah this wasn't near as putrid as the original but it could have been a lot more interesting if the author had played the wife as a good normal wife except for being scared of him cheating. If she had planned to have a normal marriage except for the insurance policy, THAT would have been a much more interesting plot.

I never read the original, but I like a creative story.

I personally had some trouble keeping up with some of the changes of POV between characters, (Oscar and his wife). It wasn't immediately clear to me when Oscar was describing her behavior or we were seeing things from her perspective.

From my vantage point, the character of Oscar was skeevy to have keylogging and phone spyware installed and not removed, he really needed comeuppance for balance, but hey this is Literotica.

I enjoyed the story.

You of all people have absolutely zero right to talk about giving a story a bad review simply because it's not believable. You are one of the absolute worst ones on here to do that. So you think you can justify your obnoxious behavior simply because someone else says something about a story you like? Talk about a damn hypocrite. J

checked a few other Edrider stories. That is one sick bitch.

I noticed on other comments and agree it would be great to see the other wives get caught. I would love to read more about this,

It was over the top, and far fetched, but still almost good

Don't give up, you at least tried, you.got some ability to write.

Maybe try this again without the cuckold crap, and the wife not.wanting a change in the SQ of the marriage? Still divorcsble, but the focus could then be on examining their thoughts and emotions as the divorce progressed?

BTW, why is impossible for you haters to believe she's a cruel cuckoldresds? Compared to the kidnap/rape/torture she already planned and paid for, cucking is as a lesser included offense.

You've got a real mental handle on the original storyline! And this sequel? Awesome- take it to the 3rd guys! You've got this with spare change!

Not sure what is worse... this story or a fork in the eye! So much testosterone going on in this ...ecery man is good and every woman is a piece of shit...not to mention stupid too! Like her lawyer never heard the tape before it was played in court...c'mon and at least not take your readers for morons too! Gave it a 2.

A selfish bitch gets what she deserves

Here'so your good reason for suspending disbelief, it's a MGTOW compound, LOL.

The first story was awful man-hating nonsense. This story is awful misogynistic nonsense. Balance has been achieved, I guess.

I gave you 5 stars for creativity and for holding my interest. The major flaw in the plot was this, though: if the wife wanted to make him into a docile eunich, there was no reason to lure him to Pat. He simply would have soon been dead from the beef stew, though.

Some people die of stupidity; more people die from others' stupidity.

I liked thie added ending to this story done in the tradition of, Finish the Dam Story. I also must say that I am a BTB kind of person. I would like to see you do an added ending to , Fifty Things. That poor character was rode hard and put away wet.

Why fuck would anyone want to do a sequel to edriders Appallingly bad wretched idiotic vile stories?

I find these woman hating system mistrusting treatises puzzling. When you look at murders of spouses women are far likely to be the ones murdered. When you look at poverty after divorce women are by far more likely to be under the poverty line. Yet far more of these stories where the wife goes off on some deep end to try to do ridiculous actions for some nefarious reasons. I really do not know where all this hate comes from.

3 pages of nonsense and you want to write more ?

go ahead write another chapter to where they finally nail that group

providing you don't take it seriously.

I see humourless Harry is trying to hide the fact that he is scared shitless that that his long suffering sub has found a MMAS equivalent, and who would blame her?

Way to go Harry - karma is a bitch.

Don't you get you facts straight so novel story sounds better.

1.private lawyers do not arrange plea bargains the DA does.

2. When plea bargain made there is no trial, defender pleads to pre-arranged charges.

3 Unless Judge disagrees the sentence is known before sentencing.

How sweet it is...😄😂😂😅😆😆😊☺

OK that was funny...and true.

Thanks.

I saw comments disputing some plausibility issues, which I agree in their implausibility but this isn't about legal procedure. The story is about a determined wife influenced by some girlfriends to put her in the driver's seat in control of her marriage and sex fantasies. The husband freaked out and sought assistance from a lawyer friend who had a framework in an organization to deal with this very specific issue. Totally implausible but fun read in spite of this. This is a work of fiction in which the author plays God. I gave it a five stars.

Too bad it was written by a first time writer.

Over all i liked it, but it was a little too "ultimate". The ultimate security system was already in place, the phone tap ans gps, already in place. The ultra secure compound existed, was free, had space available, and was secret? The revenge policy went from the worst possible revenge to just part of the wife's master plan, chemical castration. Etc......

But there is room for more story and although the wife has paid, Pat is still out there selling her shit and fucking up men. All in the name of "justice" for cheaters.

Keep writing and keep learning and improving.

Enjoyed it as a story just needs more sequels

edrider73's had written an absolute piece of crap with the original story. This follow-up was bedly needed.

I never (up until now) say anything bad about an author but edrider73 will be my exception. Don't bother reading any of his other work. Trash like his should not be archived, but just deleted and forgotten.

This follow-up was needed to right a very bad wrong. 5* to a new author.

Excellent follow-up to edrider73's story with no ending.

Billy Lines

I like the idea of me having sex with my husband's friends, coworkers, competitors, his male siblings, our neighbors and young men in need of sex training. Since my husband is away so much, why should I be deprived of sex when there are so many potential sex partners so readily available when my husband isn't? My husband gets sex whenever he wants it. He doesn't miss out. We both want to start a family. It's just that I am not as determined as my husband that my children should be his.

You may think that you will get cheating sex from other guy's while your husband is away, but unless he gives you an open marriage agreement you could be setting yourself up for a rude awaking if he finds out what you are doing to him. Don't think that you can keep him from finding out about your infidelity because we as husbands can find out in several different ways, such as hidden camera's in the house, updating the security system by adding voice operated and motion camera's place in every room in the house as well as outside around the house. Also he can put voice camera's in your purse, in your car, hidden appts on your cell phone and key logger's on your PC and remote access to any PC you have, just like the PC hackers use. Plus when you are catting around outside the home their are his real friends who could see you out with another man and text him or call him, He then could hire a PI to follow you and take pictures or video's of every thing and then the evidence would be enough to get a divorce from you and you could end up with nothing depending on the States policy on divorces, and if adultery can be proved as well if you are doing a co-worker or boss, suing your company and co-worker for not enforcing the sexual harassment clause in your work place. The other thing to consider if he is hurt bad by your actions he could resort to physical hurt on you and the guy's your screwing and he might get away with it if he is smart about it and leaves no evidence or hires someone to do it for him. He might have you kidnaped and shipped out of the country where if you can have all the sex you want including STD's, but there will not be a loving husband to provide for you and give you all the loving he can as well as children which will be his and yours, but not bastard kids from some guy fucking you. I will say one thing, if you were not prepared to keep all your wedding vows, then why did you get married in the first place? You should have stayed single and then you could do what you wanted and screw every guy you wanted. Your husband is probably working hard to provide for you and a possible family and hoping for a promotion so he can spend more time with you and his future family. You are being a wee bit selfish don't you think? For me, I would kick your ass out and do a Lorena Bobbit on your fuck buddies when I catch them, so they can't screw lonely women anymore period.

"And he never seemed to notice the presence of another man's cum in her mouth or her pussy before, so maybe he liked it."

So she had already cheated on him, multiple times, weird that was never brought up again.

Total bullshit. Crap story missing so much and forgot to account for the original on so many levels.

You forgot to include the marines and seal teams attached to the 6th fleet. Bill had a troup of ninjas on standby and everything.

Where did all the guns come from. Lucky he already had all the security done beforehand, and somehow wife never knew all the recordings of audio, communications and cameras in every room. Amazing she never noticed or knew about it.

Then this amazing man community with freebie accomadation, 24hr cafeteria, courtrooms and judges, full chem labs, more security than prisons. And they never checked his phone for tracing items. You said he was not real tech savvy, but he alone could check his phone? They would have dumped the phone and his computer. Having as much money as they seemed to, would have replaced everything he had before he got anywhere near the manhaters-haters compound.

Afraid the man hater mob would have provided a lawyer, if only to keep track on the wife. She would now be dead if this was so as they could not allow her to turn states evidence. Even a deadshit newbie lawyer would have gotten her out of prison and into witness protection based on how widespread the threat was to men. Even links to govt agencies would ensure her a free pass to anonymity in Albequerque.

Not decided whether to give 5* for entertainment or 1* for stupidity.

You write what you write, but why ? It is already heinous enough that she deceives him and sets up this policy because she loves him. Revenge that , even with divorce . But to put on the cuckold demasculating aspect when in the first story she was a misguided untrusting but loving bitch, who practically raped him on his return ? I read what I read , and would have much preferred a retort to her mistrust than hellfire for her desire to enslave him. Especially this over the top endlavement.

Weirdly, as over the top as the story was, the one part that bothered me was the attorney's surprise at the audio. Rules of evidence and discovery...