All Comments on 'Righting A Wrong'

Love anything you write about Louisiana since my wife is a tiger fan and I love the area. Good story with a great ending. Keep up the good work. MtM

Read it many times. One of my all-time favorites. Thanks Author.

I didn't even have to think too hard. Anonymous helped me write it:

I write these stories for my pleasure; I post them here for your enjoyment. Thank you for reading it. [It was MY pleasure to read it. Thank YOU, chere.]

Yes, it was too long. [Nope, It's length was perfect... hated that it ended]

Yes, I need an editor. [No editor needed. I am reminded of my culture every time I read your work: the good, the bad, and ... well, baby, we don't talk about THAT side of the family]

Yes, there were too many people to keep track of. [How else can I be in dey business? ]

Yes it jumped around too much. [And I hopped right along wit' ya]

Yes I suck. [I suck air, too. Go figure!]

Yes this was stupid shit. [Don't we all do stupid shit? I have seen myself and my kin in every tale. I just hope I get to be as wise as some of them folks you talk about]

You make me remember those things that make Louisiana so unique. I read most, and many more than once. I like that I enjoy your pleasure.

Have a nice day. [Thanks for helping me have a nice day. Now go write me something else while I go make groceries. Love your work.]

I agree with the other comments that this was a really good story that needs a little cleaning up. One of the things I liked about it was Penny's transformation and growth. I found it believable because her new found empathy for Russel was the result of the pain she herself felt from missing her son. This kind of thing happens so often when people are changed and humanized by they own misfortunes.

Your story definitely does not suck, you have a unique style that I find compelling. 5 stars

I won't lie, the story's got potential.

However I find your dialogue a bit hard to follow in terms of who's who. It's also difficult to follow who is doing the talking in certain scenes. That's not to say that the characters are poorly written. They are enjoyable and actually feel like people, unlike in many other stories here in Literotica. Congratulations for that, that is the part I personally struggle with the most when writing and you've got it down to a T.

I recommend proofreading a bit more in order to clean up those dialogues. If the dialogue was clearer the story would flow smoother and deciphering the delectable plot would be an enjoyable endeavor; not a challenge. Kudos, and good luck in your future writings.

I write these stories for my pleasure; I post them here for your enjoyment. Thank you for reading it. <It was my pleasure to read it. Thank YOU!>

Yes, it was too long. < Wrong, It's length was perfect>

Yes, I need an editor. < No editor needed. The "gist" of the story came through just fine?

Yes, there were too many people to keep track of. <Nope.. Just enough people to easily keep track of.>

Yes it jumped around too much. < Wrong again, the story was completely linear. Thanks for that. >

Yes I suck. < Maybe you drink from a straw, but that story was 5 star goodness>

Yes this was stupid shit. < The story was smart stuff, entertaining and pleasant>

Have a nice day. < Thanks for helping me have a nice day >

I liked your story quite a bit. Only comment I would like to make is about the MC's ex. She and 3 others died but no mention of a phonecall to the MC about this. Only 1 small reference. That should've been developed a bit more imo.

Okay, it’s the third time reading the story. It stills gets five stars.

Great story

I’ve read this often over the years and it never fails to make me smile and wonder what life in Bender, De Garde, or the other wonderful places occupied by real and interesting characters would be like.

And every time I see Donald Pellichet’s dialog I hear Morgan Freeman’s voice…

Another amazing story about real people.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I have read this story many times and each time I have given it 5 stars. I personally believe that as an author you should not allow anonymous comments. In my opinion when a reader wants to leave a comment under the name anonymous, that reader has nothing constructive to say, all they want to be is cowardly and negative. Unfortunately that is the world we live in today.

Took the fat ass bitch Penny long to realize what the coach was telling her about his daughter. He ended up fucking the fat ass

Tanks, good story. Just the right amount of conflicts and humor. Sorry about Melissa but it was interesting she "saw" her deceased parents.

JimBob44-YOU DO NOT SUCK...NO HOW, NO WAY!!!!! Yeah, skips around a bit...but is fairly easy to follow most of it, just gotta keep up!! Most of us readers can do this, as we read a lot, and have more than likely seen a whole lot worse here.

Story is nice, lot of detail (thus 11 pages); characters develop nicely, work together well for the most part.

Good Five**5**Star story...quit being so hard on yourself!!

Thank you for a great narrative of real life people trying to make life a good place. Good stuff.

Yes it was too long and I can't believe any man could be that stupid...

Nicely Done. No it wasn't too long. I like the characters

A DAMNED GOOD STORY and good writing. I would change the word "spurting" to a word that ads to the intimacy of the moment as the two made love. The word spurting would be fine for using in a stroke story, but it cheapens the quality of this story. Again, excellent job!

If you are looking for an editor, I'm in the volunteer editor list. I really enjoyed your story, ND I look forward to reading more.

This is one of your best stories!!

Awesome stuff. So full of emotional moments and lots of drama. I loved the romance journey. There's a thin line between love and hate. If you're lucky, the hate crosses over in the end.

There were a few disturbing moments in this, like when 4 people (including a kid) were burned alive - that was cold and brutal. And it was really sad when his sister died. Can't say my eyes remained dry.

Got to say I have read this before and it is still a great read⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I hate this feeling... But I need a part two of sorts. 😂 One wherein all three children are grown up and Penny and Russel still being together. But that's just me. The story is definitely a great read. It's my go to feel good story.

Any commentator what complain about dialogue need to spend a weekend in Delcambre, yeah, or Breaux Bridge or Thibodaux, hear?

It is what people do.

Love this story, both as a romance, and as a "divorced guy gets some justice and happiness" story. Ticks every box with amazing main characters despicable villains and a happy ending.

Outstanding story. Keep up the great work.

You go JimBob. I loved it. Especially when he called her lady... and I love a woman with a big spankable butt

Probably 6 times for me, the different events going on in Russell's life, all trying to exist on the same plane...Gordon and Don playing doting grandfather figures...what a happy mish-mash of characters for your conflicts to work through! One of the best,

5⭐️ story, this is possibly the 4 time reading this, it gets better each time

I love the post script, almost as much as this story. 5 stars DMW aka

Yes, Louisiana does have such a law. It's called HIPAA and it is Federally mandated. Also a Doctor can ONLY give out said information if said patient is a threating to break the law by hurting themselves or others.

as you said stupid shit, but this is the 2nd time I've read it. eep doing it man

Somehow I had missed this diamond. Glad I found it. Great story, fun read. 5* of course.

One of the best tales here, it’s about the fifth time I’ve read it and enjoy it more each time.

1 Your very talented

2 It's a great story

3 I loved this story

1. I have you as a 'favorite' so you don't suck! 2. I was a great story with lots to tell, not too long; 3. Editing did NOT distract from enjoying the story; 4. The characters all added to the credibility and enjoyment of the story; 5. I felt the the story flowed smoothly as it covered all the sub plots. So thanks a lot for a great read!!!

One of my go-to feel good stories. Periodically re-read it and it cheers me up.

LMJ

I disagree with all of your negative comments. Nice story! Thank you for sharing.

G

It is not too long at all. Thank you. Probably one of the best, if not the best in this category.

I have just re-read this story and enjoyed it again. Tha

Good writing. My only complaint is that I'm in a similar situation to Russel's at the start of the story, which made this damn hard to read. Penny should have gotten the same come-uppance the ex-wife did. If only life worked out like a good story.

(6/23/2023) Third read. It only got better, you feel me.

I've read this many times. I started reading it again, just intending to make sure it was the story I thought it was. I ended up reading it start to finish again. Great story. Just enough realism to feel grounded, and enough fantasy to give everyone who deserved it a happy ending.

Love this story,

Two of my favorite characters from any here in Lit. On this tale. Well done!!

This was a good entertaining story. That is what the purpose of a tale is and the goal of an author Ignore the grammar nazis. Most of us hands down rather have a good tale to read than something written with grammar being the main objective. Yes, the correct grammar gives a good story the polish,but does nothing to save a bad tale,but a good realistic story that holds a readers attention to the end is far more important....5 stars....JZK

It was not to long. You don't need an editor. There are not to many characters. And you are awesome. Thank you.

Don't think it was too long, don't think your need for an editor is overly urgent, it didn't jump around too much (you actually kept it quite to the point), but i do agree the plethora of (rightfully) appearing characters need a few paragraphs of clear and repeated references before you leave us to our own devices. You're a pretty good writer, i enjoyed this one twice, totalling ten **********. Tx

Not to nitpick, but yes Louisiana does, every state does. It's called HIPAA.

It was so sad when his sister died

man just want to say great story, but in the end; who hurt you? :)

5*s. Loved the story. The language? that's how the author meant it! The conversation and repartee - hilarious!

The overall story is good, but there is a lot wrong with it that takes away from the story it could have been. Spelling errors are constant, punctuation or more correctly the lack of it, makes sentences flow poorly. The many instances of extra words that are not needed that disrupt the sentences. The constant usage of uh huh on every character that is not Russel as if they all are some extension of Russel in another body and have his same personality. The same last name on so many characters that makes the reader wonder just how lazy this writer really is?

The author suggests this story is for the readers enjoyment yet it could have been better if he was not so lazy. He admits to spelling and other errors yet still has not fixed any of the multitude of issues he himself admitted to. If writing a short story like this is too hard for you then don't become a wtiter. You need determination, correct spelling, punctuation, and a decent imagination, just like the majority of the Hollywood screenplay writers seem to be unable to find. If you have to pull a JJ Abrams to write screen plays by copying other peoples work, you need to find something else to do.

I like the potential this story has, the execution is very lacking and its mostly due to lazy writing.

This is one of the better stories I've read. It seems the people are real, living real lives. Well done.

A great story and I have read it multiple times.

Great story! Read it twice, loved it both times. Sometimes you timeline is a little hard to follow dur to character jumps. Nice writing. Love the humor of the MC and Penny. Hated Lisa, as I was supposed to. KUDOS!

who cares if its legally correct or not, its a good story regardless

In spite of any perceived issues with this tale, real or imagined, I enjoyed it. Five.

As for the legal nit-pickers, either the screenwriter or the director of Brave Heart [can't remember which] is quoted as saying, "Never let the truth stand in the way of a good story." This was a good story!

Enjoyed the story except for one point: The idea of pre-teen LJ being shot and his body burnt really stuck in my craw. Sure, he didn't really qualify as even a minor character but it is the very rare child that deserves to be held accountable for the actions of the adults around him. Having him hauled off to foster care should have been sufficient for story-telling purposes.

I absolutely loved it apart from his sister dying because I hate to cry during these stories.

I think this one is a lot of fun. I really like the dialogue. Its campy and goofy and doesn't take itself seriously.

Yes it is stupid shit and everything else you pointed out. Great job. 5*****

Bs

BS

Enjoyed the story. Thank you for writing it.

Excellent story.

Wasn't too long.

Could have left out L.J. getting torched. Although that is reality, from my perspective, it was a downer in an uplifting story.

Hooking up with the ex-husband of her client right after the client is thrown in jail could have potentially gotten all criminal charges for Lisa and the boyfriend dismissed. And Penny disbarred or worse.

Anyone who writes something more than one page long probably needs an editor. Big woop.

Yes it was long. But it needed too be longer, qsit left many things in the air. Yes it jumped around. That said it was well done. Doctors often are hire in legal matterst time testify. So for all the people bitching about it back off. Thank you for sharing. 5*

Excellent and I love long stories !

Five well deserved Stars.

Rapier

Second time around on this one, I smiled most of the way thru it and something got in my eye and almost made me cry, hell of story.

Yes, it was too long. No, it wasn't long enough. Like any good story, I wish it had been longer.

Yes, I need an editor. No more than almost any other Literotica poster does, and you need one a lot less than many.

Yes, there were too many people to keep track of. Well.... Sometimes that was a bit of a challenge. The find function was very useful at times.

Yes it jumped around too much. Can't argue with that, although maybe it wasn't jumping around too much as much as it was jumping around very abruptly. Sometimes I was part of a sentence, or more into a new paragraph before I realized the location had changed.

Yes I suck. Well.... I don't know you so I can neither confirm or deny this statement. I guess I'll just have to take your word!!!

Yes this was stupid shit. Now here I have to completely disagree with you. I thought this was a really fun to read little story and I enjoyed it very much. To those, if any, who get hung up on the accuracy of any of the legal details, or any other aspect of the story, I say; show me any work of fiction, whether book, TV show or movie, where they get all the technical details right. I don't believe you will find one. Accuracy, and sometimes reality itself, is ALWAYS sacrificed for the sake of the story. Finally, if I have any complaint with the story it is; there were a lot of loose ends I would have liked to have seen addressed in some way. The mouthy little brat, Manny, initially on Russell's team until Russell traded him away; I thought that, at some point, Russell's team would play the team Manny was now on and beat the pants off of Manny's new team. It only seemed natural for that to happen and I was disappointed when it never did. Who was this, apparently drug kingpin, Mustapha, who has enough stroke that the state attorney's office orders him released before, it would seem, he is even booked, and then he can calmly coast into a neighborhood, kill four people, set their house on fire, and then he just disappears? Again, I really expected we would hear something, anything, more about him, but no. Between the refund of Russell's parents money from the care home, the insurance check from the house and the life insurance check, it seems Russell has come into a lot of unexpected cash. Beyond, I guess, hiring the four violinists for his proposal, does he ever do anything with that money? Who knows. We sure don't. I could cite several other examples, but these are the primary ones that come immediately to mind. Does any of this mean it was not a great story? No. It just means it could have been an even greater story without all of these loose ends hanging off of it.

Have a nice day. You too!

Fantastic story! Very engaging read.

A fantastic story. The plot was unique but very well done, and the pace was great.

5 stars - I really liked this story

Very good. I am from La. up at Ruston, La Tech. You gave it awy earlier in the story, but the death of Melissa had me crying my eyes out. Very sad. Keep on keeping on.

yeah it jumped around alot and it was a bit long, but hey it's fiction so who cares. keep going man

Criticizing your story would be like her shoving cake in Russeks face and would take away from a very nice story. Second reading for me and still good. There are many travesties in the courts and that symbol indcating Justice is blind is very true. I would have lost a house if some knowledgeable person (a housing inspector) hadn't talked with me after a judge rulled my house was worth fixing. He told me what to do to the house so I wouldn't lose it and I did and the house still stands today some 50 years later. I have been very fortunate in my life. The court system truly is blind and unless you have money for a lawyer, regardless of your problem, the odds are you will get screwed because of your own ignorance on how the court system works. Great story.

For anyone having trouble understanding why the characters talk like that, then my only answer is that they're in the south. We Southerners (most of us) talk like that

It wasn't stupid or to long, it wasn't long enough. It made me laugh, it made me sob, Your stories are great.

My only comment was that there wasnt any tears comments or anything when the mom died. No funeral, no decision nothing mentioned. It only came up because of the child payments and receiving the insurance cheque.

Overall it was a great premise of a story, it needed a little more detail in the relationship changes. There was a bit of whiplash from the hate to love vibe, i would have liked to see a more gradual progression to the relationship. Equally i think you could have raised a lot more on the moral of a lawyer with split interests and not doing her job effectively. She sacrificies her whole career takes big risks, for a relationship which at that point didnt really exist?

Even with all that i would still give it a solid 4.5 stars.

Good job, I enjoyed it. I've read stories from others that were painful to get through, this i liked.

A Lot of Fun to read. 5 Stars !!!

Well, I don't agree with you, one good story, lighthearted and humorous, can't get to serious about life, you ain't get out of it alive anyway. Live, laugh and have fun and find somebody to share it with. Good job. You do need a proof reader though just like any author, it's difficult to see your own mistakes. Why does almost everyone have to get queers in the stories somewhere? Hollywood sure seems obsessed with them. Live the life you want but quit throwing it in my face. How would it look if we had heterosexual parade with all our junk hanging out?

This is about the forth time I have read this story and always brings a smile to my face. Great job my friend. Oh and you don’t suck. Cheers

One star, barelly even that.

At 3rd page i had to stop. You are quite capable at writing with good grammar. I fail to understand why you only feel the need to do that with narration. Why is it that the dialogue is written in such poor english, as if the characters were dropped on their head as babies and they're stuck using an isolated swamp hillbilly english?

It's so dreadfully bad that i feel like i've dropped in iq points just by reading as far as i went.

And what's worse is that you did that deliberately! You're a horrible, horrible person. Shame on you!

Good story excellent characters unpredictable yet inevitable . Well done.

Yes it was long ,but not too long. You had a great tale to tell. Both a sad and happy tale with good detailing and creativity.

Great Story!!!!!!

I can probably write 4 paragraphs praising AND critisizing the story. But won't do that, just gonna summarize, it was one of the most fulfilling stories I've read.

Best thing I liked was how it never felt empty/hollow at any point.

Was gonna give it 4/5 but the author's note at the end got a good chuckle out of me, so it's a 5/5 for me.

Thanks for the story, I've read it a few times and it's really pretty good and I enjoyed it. Maybe the lesson for me is just move on, little katy has it down. She never asked about her mom or aunt disappearing from her life and lives simply in the moment.

I read your author's notes.

No need to be so humble. It's a great tale, well told.

I'm good with what you wrote. Thank you for writing it.

F-o-u-r-t-h Chapter 😉

yes it is long, but some stories seem to be ok and an even better read the longer they are. I can give a few examples but will not lessen this author's great story by doing so.

Bitches like Penny Richards deserve it!! So thanks to his bitch paralegal mother he gets a loser lawyer to help his divorce case!!

Taken direct from your dang story.

1. Yes, it was too long.

- Agree

2. Yes, I need an editor.

- I wouldn't know the difference. Read well to me a redneck from Georgia

3. Yes, there were too many people to keep track of.

- Not really; It is your story. You tell it your way.

4. Yes it jumped around too much.

- So just improve in the next one. I am weird. I followed it fine.

5. Yes I suck.

- I don't know; That is between you and your partner(s).

6. Yes this was stupid shit.

- I didn't think so; To me this was an outstanding story worth ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐, even if it 's a bit to long for me (Slow reader).

Now the rest of my ranting on this story. I enjoyed reading this story. Having family in LA I enjoyed the reach into the redneck Cajuns (part of my family there fits the bill, South of NO in the Bayou). The fact that no lawyer I know would ever do the things Penny did doesn't bother me. It is a story written by a person telling their tale, if they want to have the lawyer have angels and devils talking to them and giving advise (SaddleTramp1956 is one of my favorite authors) who cares. It's their story.

Those of us who love good BTB should all be happy with this one, she literally was burned. Having Penny and Ethel become friends after the way they started out I loved. I really enjoyed the way Darryl ended up losing everything which to me was a good BTB touch.

What I have to say is that if the rest of your stories are as good as this I will enjoy reading them.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun