Rin Tin Tin

When I was a kid I used to watch The Adventures of Rin Tin Tin on black and white TV. It starred child actor Lee Aaker as Rusty, a boy orphaned in an Indian raid, who was being raised by the soldiers at a US Cavalry post known as Fort Apache. He and his German shepherd dog, Rin Tin Tin, helped the soldiers establish order in the American West. Rusty and Rin Tin Tin always saved the day.

I wish I could be like that and I wanted a dog like that. A best friend. A dog who could protect me and save me and give me company. I begged and begged and begged and finally my Dad relented, well almost, but not quite. I wanted a male German shepherd dog, just like Rin Tin Tin. My father brought home a mutt, a dog mixed with German shepherd and Collie and to make matters worse, instead of a male I got a female.

That was how my Dad operated. You asked for one thing and you got something else, pretty close to what you wanted but it was only "roughly right" kind of like a "bait and switch" at times. But I wanted a puppy so bad that this puppy was close enough and I couldn't wait to play with her each and every day. Thanks Dad!

When we put the puppy in the basement I couldn't understand why my dad was laying down old newspaper. I asked him about it and he said the newspaper was for the puppy's pee and poop. Huh? I said. Rin Tin Tin never peed and pooped on TV. He was always frisky and friendly. Why did my puppy do that? This may sound naïve and trivial now, but at the time I really didn't know anything about the pee and the poop! And when my father said I had to walk the dog, I had no clue what he was talking about and why I needed to go out in the cold twice a day to walk the dog. LOL

So the next day I was amazed at the mess. She peed and pooped all over the place and it was my job to clean it up. I scolded the dog and tried to train her to go on the newspaper. It worked a little bit but not much and after a week I was ready to turn the dog back in. That's when my dad reminded me how much I had wanted a dog and he said now I had to take care of her now, like it or not.

And one day something even stranger happened. My friend next door got a German Shepard male dog and one day his dog chased my dog like there was no tomorrow. Little did I know that my dog was in heat. She must have been emitting some pretty heavy pheromones because my neighbor's dog, Champ, was trying to mount her and hump her like there was no tomorrow. That's the first time I saw dogs screw, hell, that was the first time I saw anybody screw, and it was a lesson I will never forget. I learned my lesson well, and ever since that fateful day, I've been chasing pussy and bitches in heat.

In some ways I still feel like the naïve 10 year old, the young kid with dreams of happy times that became overshadowed by reality. I feel like that inexperienced boy who didn't even know that dogs have to go and do their business. It's a fact of life. It's a natural thing. How could I have been so ignorant? I'm still amazed by the things we do that end up on the cutting room floor. These outtakes of life are the curious moments that we forget about and never talk about. And I'm amazed at the affect this had on me growing up. I didn't know it at the time, but Rin Tin Tin wasn't always cheery and frisky. There were several dogs on the set and when one dog got tired or didn't do the scene just right, they would switch him out with a double, kind of like a "slight of hand" and another kind of "bait and switch". Here I am thinking that a miracle dog like Rin Tin Tin actually exists, a pet who doesn't pee, poop or screw on TV. A frisky pet, a friendly pet, a pet always ready to save the day.

Well, I'm not going to blame my screwed up childhood on my Dad, even though I probably should. He could have told me about ALL of my responsibilities before he brought the puppy home. He could have told me about the responsibilities of a pet owner and he could have spent a little time telling me about the birds and the bees too. Maybe if he had filled me in I would have changed my mind about how desperately I wanted a puppy, but even if I didn't change my mind at least I would know what I was getting into. My life seems a little bit like that today. I feel like there is something I should know, something somebody should have told me. I feel unprepared for life.

The real culprit was the TV, the opiate of the masses. I really believed that what I saw on TV was reality and I still do. I believed a dog could do so much and be so good. I didn't find out until later that there were multiple Rin Tin Tins, stand ins and doubles, ready to jump in when one dog got tired and needed a break. Go figure!

As you might imagine by now this is all leading up to something. Actually there are 3 points I want to make:

1) Tell me up front all the things I need to know to be a friend. You don't have to tell me all at once, just don't assume I know anything. Don't assume I'm "poddy trained", knowing when to go and where to do it. School me. Train me. Tell me what to do and how to do it, like I was born yesterday!

2) Lay down the newspaper to catch my accidents. Protect yourself and your precious true being from my occasional mishaps. I'm warning you upfront that sometimes I slip up and go off the deep end. Sometimes I say things and do things that I shouldn't have. It's inevitable over time. Nobody's perfect. It's a fact of life. When you're close to someone every once in a while you're going to get stuck cleaning up my mess.

3) Walk the dog. Take me out and play with me and let me relieve myself from time to time. Let me vent my pent up emotions and release my stress. Let me tell you how I really feel deep inside, no holds barred.

Wait a minute. Am I asking for too much? Are you ready to send me back to the kennel for someone else to pet? Hold up. Hold on. Consider this. Rin Tin Tin got a lot done in his 30 minute segment. He was entertaining and he made me feel invincible for the day. I'm not boasting or bragging when I say I could do the same. If you let me in and play my games, I could do the same for you. I can entertain you and cheer you up and who knows, there may come a time when you need someone to be your hero and save the day.