Saving the Doctor Pt. 05

It felt great to walk back through the clinic doors, everyone greeted him with smiles and excited hello's. Jeff gave him a hug and told him with a worried look that he could take a peek at his wounds for him. By the time he sat down at his desk he had a warm feeling inside like he was part of a family there. If he had told himself 4 months ago that he would feel like this he would have never believed it.

He cringed when he saw the long list of labs and reports but was relieved when he saw the light schedule. His first few patients were straightforward enough, and he had enough time between them to work through a lot of the results before noon. Just after 12:00 his good mood took a hit when he got a text from Elaina.

- Can you put one of the roasts from the freezer in the slow cooker for tonight?

He thought for a minute

- I'm really craving Chinese actually, let's order in, it'll be easier.

- If you insist. I hope you're feeling well and not doing anything you're not supposed to.

He decided not to respond, as Jeff walked in with a cautious smile. Jon begrudgingly agreed to let him take a look at his wounds.

"Jesus Jon, this looks like it went deep, and your ear... like it's not completely mangled but there'll be a hell of a scar. Who did you see that decided against stitches?" Jeff asked.

"I uh... didn't go anywhere. Elaina said it was okay," Jon admitted.

Jeff paused, but then chuckled, "I'll resist the joke about internists and wound management. It is what it is at this point, I guess. Although there's part of it that's starting to look suspicious for infection though, like not terrible yet, but I should grab you something topical for it. Just around the back of the scalp here." He pointed it out to Jon.

"Yeah I was still feeling pretty tender there," Jon agreed. "Thanks Jeff, I appreciate it."

"No problem." Jeff paused as if unsure. "So... how did you fall that you got cut up on one side of your head but bruised on the other?"

Jon gulped, "It was a bit of a blur, I don't know if I remember it all. Just... stairs and what not."

"Oh. I swore Doug said Elaina told him it was a coffee table," Jeff said.

Jon shrugged, trying not to look guilty from the lie.

Jeff looked at him quizzically for a second and then gave a smile and patted him on the shoulder. "Whatever. I'm glad you're okay and feeling better."

Jon tried to make a genuine smile, "I am. Thanks. Hey what are you doing for lunch?"

Jeff grinned wide. "Nothing yet. Wanna go grab some?"

They got a couple sandwiches and had a great hangout. Jon felt free. They had a nice light, positive conversation, at least at first. Sure enough, Jeff gave him a good-natured ribbing about being too self-conscious to invite him to the open mic. Then inevitably, Jeff mentioned how Jon had been really quiet the last few weeks, and Jon admitted to stress and that at least some of it was from Elaina. Jeff had obviously heard through the grapevine about her issues at work, but thankfully wasn't judgmental or pushy about it, simply offering to talk anytime.

Jon wanted to open up more to him, but it didn't feel like it was the right time or place. A small voice in his head screamed at him to tell Jeff everything and beg him to help him escape her, but he made the excuse that he owed Elaina a face to face confrontation if and when he left her. Plus, he still needed to get his car keys, he told himself. As they headed back to the clinic, he wondered if he just simply didn't have the guts.

The short afternoon clinic went by like a breeze. The few patients he had were more complicated, and at least one he was glad he saw before Christmas as he ended up making an urgent consult to cardiology, but Beth had given him ample time on the schedule to work through them. At 2:30 he wrapped things up and was out the door again with Beth at 3.

He was glad he didn't push it any further because to his surprise Elaina came home early, just before 4 o'clock. He thought he detected a hint of hidden surprise in her that he was actually home, but he wasn't sure. She never mentioned the tracking app and he wasn't sure he wanted to start that argument yet, so they simply ate supper and had a nice quiet evening. Just before they were about to go to bed he decided to try reasoning with her a little more.

"So Elaina. I... appreciate all the work you've put in to looking after me, and even if it feels patronizing, I get why you've been doing it..."

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, "And..."

"It makes me uneasy to still have you hiding the car keys from me, besides the fact that, you know... I'm an adult, I worry about not being able to get somewhere if I suddenly needed to, like if something happened to you, for example."

Her scowl turned into a smirk as she seemed to appreciate his reason for concern.

He continued, "I've been going for walks, I've been looking at screens and reading with no issues, I'm not saying I'm going to be driving around for no reason, but it's the next logical step."

She looked at him mistrustfully.

"Please," he added. "I liked your note about building trust. Let's keep going with it."

She gave him an unreadable stare for what seemed like forever.

"Fine," she said. "They're in my purse I'll put them back by the entrance way."

He let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you," he said, and gave her a kiss. "I appreciate it."

She smiled but then looked at him seriously, "Only in case of emergency. You promise?"

He smiled back, "Sure."

"Good. Because like I said before, I feel like you've been acting strange besides the head injury. You know you still never apologized for the crazy things you said about calling off the wedding," she said raising an eyebrow in expectation.

He paused for a moment, then decided to smile, "I'm sorry Elaina."

He wasn't, he had meant every word.

She smiled back as she stepped close, and wrapped her arms around him. "Well I forgive you as long as you promise never to say it again."

She squeezed him and nuzzled her head into his shoulder. "I kept thinking maybe you were serious. I tried to reassure myself, no he's not an asshole, he wouldn't just abandon everything we'd worked so long to build here, he wouldn't leave me, and just before Christmas, of all the possible times, making me go to my family alone for the holidays, embarrassed and devastated. He's not a monster."

She sighed and kissed his neck. "But deep down I knew you weren't. You're just going through so much right now. You're head's all messed up, and you just need to let all these crazy thoughts and emotions pass. It'll just take time. I know you're not that kind of man."

He stared at the wall as they held each other, his eyes burning and his lips tight. He felt her hand move down over his ass and around the front of his thigh.

"You say you appreciate me?... Maybe you can show me how much? Hmm?" she purred, as she tickled his cock through his pants.

20 minutes later they moaned in unison as he entered her and their naked bodies came together again. She wrapped her legs around him and kissed him, rolling her lithe figure under him in waves of passion as he squeezed her back and thrust into her desperately.

Every time they made love now he felt like it might be their last, so he couldn't help but savour it. Every time since the weekend had felt like it was make-up sex, and at the same time, like there was no tomorrow. It was intoxicating and it wore down his resolve. Every day he told himself he needed to leave her controlling, abusive, and manipulative clutches, and every night her affection and her body made him doubt himself completely.

"Oh GOD! Jonathon I LOVE YOU! She cried out, digging her nails into his back and squeezing her legs around him tighter.

He panted and groaned as he fucked her with hopeless need, and his head started to throb.

"Why aren't you saying it back?" she said breathlessly.

"What?"

"Say you love me," she squeezed him tighter.

He panted and grunted and finally blurted out, "I love you!"

"Ohhh GOD! Jonathon! Say it again!"

"Fuck! Ugghh, I love you!" he relented.

"AH! AH!! AH!!! JONATHON!! YESSS!!"

She shook and wailed as she climaxed underneath him, bringing him over the edge as well. He came hard inside her, cherishing the feel of her against him, and not wanting to let go. He stared at her breathtaking eyes and perfect face and she gave him a beautiful breathless smile as their pleasure slowly descended.

He fell asleep loving the feel of her body snuggled against him, and hating himself.

He was about to text Beth the next morning to tell her he didn't need her to pick him up anymore, but thought to check for his keys first. To his disappointment, they weren't there. He checked the bedroom to make sure he hadn't missed them on the dresser. No luck.

He tried texting Elaina.

- Hey honey, did you leave my car keys like you said you would?

Just before Beth arrived he finally got a reply.

- No sorry I forgot. Where were you going to go?

He sighed and didn't reply.

He grabbed his coat and bag and headed out the door.

"Hey, how ya feelin?" Beth said with a smile as she started to drive.

"Good, gradually better. Thanks again for all this Beth."

"Oh no worries. I'm just glad you're back at it," she said.

"Yeah me too, I was going stir-crazy in that house, it was great seeing everyone at the clinic again."

"Awww. You missed us too?" she teased endearingly.

Jon chuckled, "Yeah I honestly did."

Suddenly his phone rang.

"Hi Honey, what's up?" he said. "What? No I just noticed they weren't there and you had said..."... "Yeah I know."... "Noise? Oh, it's just the traff... I'm outside, I went for a walk, it's just nice to get out of the house."... "What? Why are you so intent on that roast? Look it's Friday I was thinking we could go out for dinner. Some place nice."... "Yeah sure."... "Yeah I'm not planning to."... "Okay."... "Okay I'll see you later."

He hung up and Beth gave a him a few amused glances as an awkward silence sunk in.

"So, just going out on a limb, but I'm thinking Elaina isn't aware of um... any of this?" she asked.

Jon sighed, "No. She's acting like my head's still completely messed up and I need bed rest till next year. It's just how she is I guess."

Beth giggled, "You know, I wondered yesterday. Don't worry, I won't tattle."

"Thanks," Jon said, feeling embarrassed.

She grinned, "Hey did she put a tracker on your car? Is that why-..."

He gave her a glare, almost disturbed at how close her joke was to the truth.

"Okay sorry, sorry, I'm kidding," she laughed. "Just tell me to shut up if I'm being too much."

A short awkward silence returned until she spoke up again, "For what it's worth you seem like you're all the way back to normal, other than the bandages."

He smiled "Thanks Beth."

Clinic was nice and light again and he was very close to catching up on his lab reports. The patients weren't simple, but he was given lots of time to work through them again, and felt fine by noon. He called Dr. Hartman and apologized for not being able to meet her at the shelter clinic downtown and made plans to contact her again after New Years.

He had a nice lunch with Jeff again who reminded him that he and Rob were still serious about the ski trip later on in the winter. Jon told him he hoped he could make it to their New Year's party, but that he might not. He wanted to go, but he didn't know what state his freedom, or their relationship, or anything in his life would be like, a week and a half from now, but he didn't have the guts to say that outright. He felt like he needed to talk though...

"I dunno man, she's been ridiculous lately," Jon said. "I get that she's going through a lot, with her job and.. maybe the wedding planning's actually been more of a stress than she's let on, maybe I'm not as supportive as I should be. I dunno, but... she just has this need for control over everything and if she feels unsure, or that things aren't right, she just squeezes tighter."

"Yeah that sounds frustrating. Have you told her that?" Jeff asked.

"I've tried, but she doesn't take it well. I can't get more than a sentence or two into saying it before she looses it on me."

Jeff cringed. "Maybe it's gotta be someone else. I know I try to tell Grace certain things, but she doesn't really internalize them until someone else says it too."

Jon sighed, "Yeah, well she's going to this counselor now 'cause of work, which I actually thought would be great, but I don't think she's taking it seriously. I tried to get her sister to reach out, but I don't know if she'll listen to her either."

"Well those are the right first steps. Hopefully a break over the holidays helps," Jeff suggested.

Jon shook his head. "I dunno... You know she wouldn't let me have my phone for 3 days after I hit my head."

Jeff looked confused, "Like she kept telling you not to look at the screen?"

"No like she physically took it and hid it from me," Jon clarified, deciding to omit the tracking app for now.

"That's fucked up," Jeff blurted out. "Sorry man, I just... yeah that's all I can say." he looked embarrassed and worried.

Jon smirked at him "Don't worry about it. Thanks actually, I needed the confirmation. She's trying to tell me I'm the one acting unreasonable."

"I think you're fine," Jeff said, and sipped his coffee.

"Have I been acting off the last couple days?" Jon asked "Like do I look like I'm acting and talking and behaving normal?"

Jeff laughed, "Yeah man, completely. I mean you've been a bit obscure with the details when you're talking about the injury and other things, like Elaina, but... whatever, you're a private guy I can respect that." He paused, "Is she saying you're not?"

Jon simply nodded.

Jeff shook his head. "Sounds like projection....Look, sorry man I don't want to get too intrusive. Just know that, in my opinion, you're doing fine, at least from what I can see."

Jon smiled, "Thanks Jeff."

He got back to work feeling emboldened and glad he had the few good people in his life that he did. He worked through the first couple of patients, feeling happy that he had made the right decision to come back and clean up the important work before Christmas.

Around 2 o'clock he said a friendly 'Happy Holidays' to Mrs Bolton as she left, and he finished off his note and started to look through the next patient's chart when he almost thought he heard a familiar voice down the hall through the open door. He put it out of his mind and turned back to his computer.

Then he heard a fast clicking of heels down the hallway and was suddenly startled by Elaina's shrill shout.

"I KNEW IT!!"

He turned to see her pointing at him from the open door. She turned to look back down the hall.

"Get back to your fucking desk you lying little bitch!" Elaina shouted, presumably at Beth, then turned back to Jon. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

He stood up trying to stay calm and reasonable. "What are YOU doing? Pipe down, you can't use that language in here."

"You LIED! After everything you said about trust! You promised!...and I was stupid enough to believe you!"

"Elaina calm down. I'm just doing a light half day to clean up a few really important things. Everything's been fine."

"Everything's not FUCKING fine!!" she shouted, and stomped her foot. "I took the afternoon off to be with you and come home to an empty house! Then you have this little slut telling lies for you, saying you're not in. Thankfully I can read her like a book!"

"Elaina please stop shouting in the hallway, come inside and close the door."

"NO! You come with me and come home, right now!"

"I just have a few patients left, I'm not going to leave them in the waiting room," he said, trying to keep his voice quiet and calm, but his heart was racing and his temper starting to flare despite himself."

"They're better off seeing someone else! You. Come home. This instant!"

"Elaina you're being ridiculous, j-"

"I'm not being FUCKING RIDICULOUS! I'm the only one acting appropriate for the situation right now!" she yelled.

He stared at her in disbelief. "Elaina if you don't stop shouting and swearing you HAVE to leave. Go calm down somewhere and then we'll talk."

"OR WHAT?! You don't have security guards here, are you gonna call the cops? I FUCKING dare you!"

"Elaina...please," he begged. It took all his effort to keep his voice calm, but he knew that anger was burning in his eyes.

"You know what this is?" Elaina pointed at him. "This is you working impaired! I could make one phone call and get your license stripped like that!"

"What?!" he said, baffled by her absurd threat. "Everyone here's been fine with how I've been working. They're supportive, they're happy to see that I'm doing well."

"Oh shut the FUCK up! Here you go again trusting everyone OTHER than me!"

"You need to stop swearing and shouting, or you need to leave. Now," he said firmly.

"Ummm, hey there Jon, Elaina..." Doug said from a few feet down the hall. "If you two need to use the break room to have a chat you're more than welcome, but we're um, trying to run a clinic here."

"Fuck off Doug, this is none of y-" Elaina stopped and suddenly became aware of her surroundings. Shocked faces staring at her from either end of the hall.

"I was just leaving anyway," she said, trying to collect herself. "Coming honey?"

She stared at him with threatening eyes.

He stood his ground and met her stare, feeling like it took all the courage he could muster, and simply said, "No."

"FINE!!!" She screamed, and slammed the door so hard his whole room shook.

He stood there in shock, his head pounding and his heart racing. He heard her heels click back down the hallway and then her faint yell from the end of the hall. "Stop staring at get the fuck back to work!"

He collapsed back into his chair and closed his eyes.

5 minutes later Jon heard a soft knock on the door.

"Come in," he said.

"Hey." Beth said timidly. "Um, everyone's gone back to their rooms and started work again. Just so you know."

"I'm so sorry Beth," he said.

"You... have nothing to apologize for. Not to me anyway, and I suspect not to anyone else, but I suppose that's none of my business."

"No one should have had to hear all that," he shook his head.

"I agree, but that's not on you. Look, how much time do you need? There's 3 patients left but they can wait, I know them, they're all reasonable. Honestly giving the waiting room a little more time to calm down wouldn't be a bad idea anyway," she suggested.

He gave her an appreciative smile, "Maybe 15 or 20 minutes. I wouldn't mind taking a walk and getting a coffee."

"Yeah for sure. Do you... want some company?" she asked, biting her lip.

He shook his head, no I'd prefer to be alone, thanks though.

"No worries, see ya in a bit," she said, with a sympathetic smile as she left.

He got back to the clinic with a coffee and a fading headache, and went back to work with determination. He still took his time and finished around 3 o'clock. He stayed later, finishing up the last of his reports and labs, and at least felt satisfied that he had a clean slate for the holiday break. He logged out with satisfaction, but then realized with despair that it meant going home... to Elaina. Beth could evidently read it on his face and suggested he could stick around and hang out until the end of everyone else's clinic and that it would actually make her day easier, rather than having to drive back.

He took her up on it and simply sat in his office on his phone and his computer. He sat there and stewed about what he would say and how he would go about doing what he needed to do. He reminded himself that anything he rehearsed would go out the window as soon as he confronted her again. Instead he opened up his browser, clicked on the search bar, and typed in 'condos for rent'.