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He was still riding high from his amazing week off with Beth. It was a little difficult to reign in their affectionate smiles, but he thought they were doing a decent job of staying professional.
At least they did until the end of the day.
Jon was finishing off his last consult letter when he heard the door shut and looked over with a smile to see Beth leaning against it with a sultry look.
"Still going guitar shopping after this?" she asked.
"Yeah of course. You wanna do dinner too?"
"Yeah of course." she said endearingly. "You almost done?"
"Yeah just finishing up"
"Cool... Everyone else is gone..."
He suddenly stopped typing and looked over at her again as she traced her foot up the door with a devious smile.
"Beth..."
"Oh come on you know you want to, you know we've both been fucking dreaming about it, how can we not?" she begged him cutely.
"...you're sure everyone's gone?"
"Locked up and everything," she said smiling proudly, and stepping forward.
"Come on, don't you want a chance to do it right this time?" she taunted him, undoing the first button of her top.
"I just realized you're wearing the same shirt."
She smiled wider and undid the second button. "And the same bra..." she said.
He breathed out heavily as her top came undone. "We've already done the lingerie shopping this time though," he said with a smirk
"Mmm well guitar shopping isn't quite as sexy..." she said bending over to walk up his thighs with her hands. "...but you can serenade me tonight until you're too cute for me to stand, and I throw the thing on the ground and fuck your handsome little brains out."
"Hnnng, all of that, except maybe set it gently on the ground, it'll be a brand new guitar," he smiled.
She laughed and looked back up at him fondly, "Come here..."
She sat down on his lap and kissed him.
He undid her bra as she went straight for his belt. They made out and explored with their hands as the office chair creaked underneath them. He slid his hands up her legs under her skirt and wondered where she had stashed her panties as his fingers found her bare, wet pussy and started playing, making her whimper in delight. She stroked him while slowly sliding his pants off and then wasted no time sliding up and onto his shaft, sitting down again to impale herself on him with a deep satisfied moan and a ferocious kiss.
They fucked slowly facing each other until she wanted him deeper and then stood up to turn around and sit down with her back to him, and let out a more desperate cry as his cock buried itself in her again. She rocked in determination on his shaft, grasping his knees tightly and working them both up until he grabbed her by the hips and stood her up, without falling out of her. She grabbed onto the desk and looked back at him as he ran his hands underneath her along her flat stomach and on to her round hanging tits. He bent forward and breathed onto her neck as he rocked into her, her hips moving eagerly back into him. She craned her neck around to give him an appreciative kiss.
Then she looked at him more intently and whispered "Come on" Grasping the desk harder and thrusting herself back into him.
He needed no more coaxing and moved his hands down to her hips to give her a harder fuck.
She let out an agonized moan, looking back at him in red-faced bliss.
He grasped her hips more strongly and fucked again.
"Ah!" she let out an almost surprised cry.
His rock hard cock pulled slowly out and then pounded her again, his hips slapping her ass.
"AH!" she let out wails of panicked excitement as he fucked her faster and harder.
"AH! AH! AH! JON! YES!"
He felt her soft tender flawless skin, flowing over her perfect female curves. The mind-blowing body that he'd forced himself to try to ignore for months, the beautiful enticing woman he could barely resist, now naked in his arms, bent over his desk, filled with his cock, and begging him for more.
"FUCK! YES! JON! AH! WANTED! AH! JUST! LIKE! THIS! AH! for SO! LONG!"
"OH! GOD! BETH!" he exclaimed back to her, sharing the excitement of finally fulfilling their desires, right in his office.
"HARDER! BABY! COME ON! OH! FUCK! AH! AH! AH!"
He wrapped both arms around her firmly and fucked with all his might. Her feet came off the floor and her arms strained against his desk.
Their cries of excruciating passion echoed through the room with the slaps of their hot sweaty skin colliding. The desk banging against the wall, the computer teetering. Their voices grew louder, and more frantic until she suddenly went silent and her whole body seemed to contract and shake. He rammed himself as hard as humanly possible and held himself deep inside her divine pussy. Her voice cracked and she let out a long uncontrollable screech as she came around his cock. He pushed into her one final time feeling in his bones like she was heaven itself and felt electricity explode through him as he finally erupted inside her. Their naked bodies heaved together as one as she clenched around him coaxing every drop of his cum out of him, bucking back into him and moaning like she could never have enough.
Their bodies finally relaxed enough for him to fall out of her and pull her up to stand, he hugged her from behind, running his hands over her stomach and her breasts and she turned to give him a loving kiss.
They finally broke their embrace to put their clothes back on and found each other again for a long tender hug.
She let out a whimper, "I hate to say this but I think I'm gonna have to transfer to work at a different desk."
John raised an eyebrow, almost impressed at her sudden, sobering insight.
"It took every ounce of willpower not to flash my tits at you in between every appointment. I think if we keep working together we'll never get anything done."
Jon chuckled, "That sounds enticing but yeah, I think you might be right."
She squeezed him one final time and looked up at him excitedly, "Dinner and a new guitar?"
"Yeah," he smiled back.
...
Jon walked out of the music store with a smile, a new guitar case in one hand and a perfect girlfriend leaning on his other arm. She had been excited and interested in why he liked certain ones and not others, beaming proudly as he noodled away on the strings and almost convincing him to sing her a song right there in the store. He settled on a higher end plug-in acoustic, and invested in a good case while he was at it. Beth said it looked pretty, but joked that he should have got the neon green one.
It was a short jaunt through the mall back to the parking lot, but Beth decided to stop and get a cappuccino along the way.
As they waited in line, they started to talk about what was playing at the theatre when suddenly her voice seemed to fade out of existence in his mind.
Just when his life seemed finally perfect... When he had seemed to be able to forget all of the reasons he had felt hopeless and look to a positive future. When it had finally started to sink in that he could really be happy with everything...
Carly walked around the corner.
She was still about 30 feet away and surrounded by other random mall-goers, but she met his eyes immediately and the look on her face seemed to reflect his own shocked painful emotions like a mirror. Not wanting to believe it was her. Not wanting to have to know her gorgeous tender blue eyes were still part of the world, but it was too late to unsee. His heart twisted out of his chest and he stopped like he'd hit a brick wall.
"Jon what's wr-"
BANG!
His guitar case hit the ground and jolted him out of his stare. He looked down with a swear and picked it back up. Turning it over and opening it to make sure the guitar inside was okay. He finally looked up to see that Carly was gone. He told himself it was good but his eyes suddenly craved to see her again, searching for that beautiful comforting face that deep down he had wanted to see again for so long.
He apologized to Beth and said he thought he forgot something and it had just slipped out of his hands.
She asked him if he was alright, saying he looked like he saw a ghost.
He almost felt like he had.
He almost was able to act normal again by the time they got to the car.
He almost was able to put her out of his mind by the time he kissed Beth goodnight.
He was almost able to forget.
Almost...
**********
One week later...
Carly sat on the hard cafe chair and shifted nervously, trying to get comfortable. It was useless. There was no way this encounter would be anything approaching comfortable....but she had to do it. She kept telling herself she had to. To move on, to be able to live with herself, she couldn't chicken-out of this.
She was safe, she told herself. It was a public place, lots of people, in the daytime. If any she intended any harm towards her it certainly wouldn't be here and now....maybe threats though. Who knows what she was capable of, knowing what she had done to her own fiance?... Carly would just have to hope she could see and understand how sorry she was, and how much she regretted everything, and hope her humanity won out.
Elaina HAD seemed strangely cordial on the phone. It had been such a bizarre unexpected call. Asking how Carly was, and giving brief condolences about Brent, and then saying she would prefer to talk in person because she had some more personal things she wanted to say. So she suggested a time and place and here she was.
Carly had been so shocked and confused by Elaina's kind sympathetic tone that she had forgot to ask her how she had got her new number. Grace didn't have it. Jon didn't have it. Almost no one did, other than her parents and her work.
Nothing about it made sense. It was an opportunity though. A chance to unload some of the guilt that had made the last 6 weeks of her life such a living hell. To face a consequence for what she had done, like she knew she deserved. It wouldn't fix what happened but it would be a step. One more step of progress in finding peace with herself.
Carly had already been making some progress. Finally. About a week after the funeral, she had come about as close to rock bottom as she ever had. If she hadn't been at her parents' farm with their support, then she wasn't sure the choice between suicide and getting help would have gone the way it had.
She had started by finding a counselor, and in their second session, for the first time ever, she admitted to what she had done, pouring everything out in a long-winded story about Brent and Jon and everything that had happened. The therapist somehow didn't seem as shocked as Carly thought she should have been. Carly also hadn't felt as horrible as she thought she would, after finally saying it all out loud. Not good, but not terrible, and almost a weird kind of relief. Like thinking she was jumping off a cliff to her death, and instead landing on the ground 3 feet down in a pile of dog shit.
The counselor helped her talk through a few of the reasons why she and Jon and Brent might have done the things they had, helped her re-frame how she was thinking about herself now, and basically helped her to feel like less of a monster and more of just a flawed human being.
Things gradually started to improve, and she finally decided to go back to work at the hospital 2 weeks ago. She was awestruck at the love and support they all showed her when she came back. Pam and the rest were thrilled to see her doing better and it felt almost embarrassingly great to suddenly realize they cared about her that much. She was still very careful to stick to her department and avoid Grace, and especially Jon, not feeling ready to face either of them.
She hadn't gone back to the other pharmacy though. Just the thought of having to answer that phone and hear Jon's voice on the other line made her eyes well up and feel stomach sick.
She couldn't believe how much seeing him in the mall had set her back. How much seeing his kind handsome face had made her heart rip out of her chest. Then seeing Beth snuggled into his arm affectionately... Carly hadn't been able to make it out of the mall before the tears started, with two random strangers stopping to ask if she needed help along the way. She had sobbed in her car for at least 20 minutes, begging for a time machine, but not being certain what she would do with it if she had one. It hurt so much.
She knew she still loved him and hated herself for it. It made sense that he was with Beth, she supposed. She had suspected that girl had her sights on him for a while, but had chalked it up to her own paranoid jealousy. Of course he wouldn't turn her down, she was basically every man's dream-girl. They looked so happy and content together in the split second before he noticed her. She tried to tell herself it was good. At least he had found happiness himself. If she loved him she should want that for him right? He would have hurt for a while after she cut him off though... wouldn't he?
She tried to tell herself it didn't matter, that he was none of her business anymore, but it was hard. All of it was so hard.
It would help to see Elaina, she told herself. To look at the woman who was betrayed and apologize. To admit what she did was wrong and spineless. It would help her to move past him and out into whatever life lay beyond.
She knew Elaina must have told Brent about her affair with Jon. She had figured it out when she finally got Brent's phone unlocked the day after she found him. After confirming her fears that he had been sexting two of his students, she had dialed the mysterious number that had been his last phone call, two days before he died, and had been shocked when Elaina's voicemail answered.
Elaina must have known about Jon and Carly, and then told Brent, and it broke his heart, and then he killed himself. She was sure of it. That fact had burned itself into her like a brand mark on her soul.
There had been other things, other insecurities like losing his job that he alluded to in his suicide note, but the horrible tragic words that she had read on that paper after walking in on his day-old corpse in their kitchen:
...and the woman I love, is in love with another man. Stupidly dedicated to an asshole who doesn't deserve her, and I'm helpless to change that...
She would never forget those words, and the guilt that would haunt her forever.
But, maybe today she could shed a small part of that guilt, by doing what was right, and facing Elaina.
Elaina finally walked in the door and Carly's palms almost immediately started to feel clammy. Inexplicably, Elaina gave a tender smile and a wave to Carly as she noticed her, and calmly walked over. She pulled the other chair out and then stopped, looking at Carly sympathetically.
"You look horrible dear. I feel like I should give you a hug, is that okay?" Elaina asked, sounding a bit forced, but as if she was simply doing the right thing.
Carly's mind was running in circles trying to figure out what the fuck she was doing.
"Umm... yeah... if you want?" Carly stood up, feeling like it would be rude to decline and they leaned in to the most awkward hug ever attempted.
"There there," Elaina said, sounding like she was trying too hard. "You must be going through so much, I can only imagine."
"It's okay. Th... thanks Elaina," Carly said, forcing a tight smile at her as they sat back down.
The server interrupted them before either could break the awkward silence. Elaina ordered a tea and Carly ordered a Latte.
"Those always just seem so rich to me," Elaina said offhandedly with a sour face and a glance at Carly's body.
Carly decided to ignore the comment and start into what she had come to say.
"Look Elaina, I know you're the one that invited me here to talk, but I-"
"Yes and you're probably very confused as to why, and I really appreciate you taking the time to meet with me, so let me explain," Elaina said, courteously interrupting her.
"I'll admit that I brought you here more for myself than for you." Elaina continued. "I've been doing some... introspection over the last while, and I've come to the conclusion there are some things about myself that I need to... improve, if I'm going to achieve what I want in my life, and although most of that is about moving forward, I've also decided I need to address some things from the past that have been weighing on me."
Carly nodded in a sad supportive smile and was about to start apologizing, but was cut off again.
"I came to talk to you about a conversation I had with your husband, not long before he... passed away."
Carly's guts started to turn.
"We had talked on the phone, and... it unfortunately wasn't very pleasant."
"Elaina... I'm so sorry," Carly croaked.
"What? Oh don't be ridiculous dear. Don't go apologizing for your husband. I know he's no longer around to apologize for himself, but don't go burdening yourself with his actions."
"No... I didn't mean-"
"Look if there's ONE thing I've definitely learned over the past while it's that we can't go blaming ourselves for our partner's mistakes. They're adults and make their own decisions and you can't control or take responsibility for what they do. You can try to guide them, but in the end if they're hell bent on acting like childish idiots then that's their right." Elaina's voice was still calm, but she was staring intensely into space over Carly's shoulder and gripping the teaspoon almost hard enough to bend it.
Carly was about to try to speak again, but the lesson of Elaina's words managed to slip through the confusion in her mind, and she paused and stared off silently herself.
The server interrupted the silence again to serve their drinks, and they politely declined ordering any food.
They stirred and sipped their drinks and Carly tried to speak again.
"Elaina... I know you two spoke, I was able to unlock his phone. I didn't get the chance to face him afterwards, but at least I can face you, and say that... I really truly am sorry, ab-"
"I JUST explained why you don't need to apologize, are you not hearing me?" Elaina looked at her incredulously.
"I-..."
"Please Carly, I don't like being interrupted. I can tell you're getting emotional and I suppose that's warranted, but please just try to focus and do me the courtesy of listening."
Carly decided to sip her tea and try not to look too annoyed.
"Whatever you think you need to apologize for I promise you it's me that needs to apologize to you. After all I'm the one that... led your husband astray."
Most of the latte in Carly's mouth thankfully hit the mug again rather than the table.
"I'm sorry Carly, I know it's probably painful to hear. He didn't tell me outright that it ruined your marriage, and I'm sure there were probably other issues, but I know you two had only just separated, and then he phones me out of the blue, and tells me that he's in love with me... what else could one conclude?"
"He... he what?" Carly said, trying to decide if this was some insane joke, some bizarre revenge.
"Well not right away. The conversation started with him asking me out to dinner. I played dumb and he eventually explained that it was, in fact, a date and that he wanted me... sexually. He said some fairly lewd things that I took quite a bit of offense to. I don't know what kind of women that man's used to talking to, but anyhow... I turned him down fairly bluntly, explaining that yes Jonathon and I were going through a hard time, but that I wasn't done with him yet. Then he said some ridiculously insulting things about Jonathon that I didn't take too kindly to, so I said some... fairly insulting things back to him. I obviously struck a nerve with him or at least he realized he had gone in the wrong direction because then he got fairly emotional and tried to apologize and finally told me that he was actually in love with me and had been for a long time. That I was the most amazing, elegant woman, blah blah blah. Anyway I was still angry with what he'd said before, so I continued to insult him fairly harshly, rather than let him down easy. I eventually hung up on him as he blubbered away."
