All Comments on 'Separated for a While'
by assbr
- 79 Comments
Anonymousabout 14 years agoSorry. this is one of the dumbest stories I have ever read. It has no redeeming merit.
the Ct. Yankee
Conqueredabout 14 years agoI would have liked the last part to be longer. Good work!
katibabout 14 years agoIs there an editor in the house? Let's hope he or she has scissors!
Anonymousabout 14 years agoYou must have intended to put it on Illiterotica.com.
Anonymousabout 14 years agoTonight when you go to bed take a pill and hopefully when you wake up you will have a brain because anybody who wrote this story is brainless.
jasonnhabout 14 years agoThe grammar was terrible, like a kid had written it. The content was worse. There was no development of the characters at all. They are two dimensional, flat. They are both portrayed as mindless fools. There is no reason his wife cuts him off from sex and the reason she uses to choose him is idiotic. He doesn't seem like a cuckold personality and yet he allows himself to be cuckolded almost mindlessly. Neither of them exhibit any emotions, it is like two computers talking to each other.
Anonymousabout 14 years agoI say you skip so words it to understand. maybe in your country people talk groups words, but not English.
Anonymousabout 14 years agoHokey Smokey bat man, that was fucking awful, in fact it was so bad on so many levels all I will say is I'm glad you and the little woman are good. Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Anonymousabout 14 years agoThat was written like a 3rd grade Just Plain Bob story. I normally do not complain about spelling or grammer, but that only works if it is a story. I do want to thank you for keeping it short though, and for the laughs.
Anonymousabout 14 years agoi want to share my wife .....but i am in backword area tell me what i do?????
looking4itabout 14 years ago...literally hoping that English is your second language. If it is not, well, English is still your second language. It would have been nice to know just exactly what everyone said with the right words and all. Thankfully, it was only 1 page and I skimmed it fast once I realized that it was impossible to really read it. Beyond the grammar and wrong words was the plot, ugh, it was one of the worst I've read here. Either get some help in your writing or please save it for yourself.
gaesmoabout 14 years agoSorry, good try, but really not a good storyline....why in the world would he even stay with her after being treated that way.
Anonymousabout 14 years agoUse a spell checker at least. I couldn't finish the story is was so bad. As for the bits I did read? you loving wife fucks her boss many times over and the only reason she fucks you, there is no love or respect, is because your cum tastes better than her boses? What the Fuck are you on? Whatever it is cut down. Real soon.
victoriangentabout 14 years agoI recommend you leave your stories on your personal computer and never share them with the public again. Be sure to label all your story files "SELF ABUSE".
Anonymousabout 14 years agoOn many levels, this is arguably the worst story I have ever read on this site.
AnotherClosetReaderabout 14 years agoReads like you lost inspiration towards the end, and rather than wait to get it back you just pasted something on to get it out the door.
Anonymousabout 14 years agoSpelling, grammar, sentence construction, plot, character development, ending...all of these are the worst that I have seen on Lit.com in a while.
When you get out of middle school, concentrate on high school and then look for a job.
Oh, My!!!!!
Anonymousabout 14 years agoI'm no literary critic and this is my first comment. PLEASE STOP WRITING!!
Anonymousabout 14 years agoIt should be a better story then this, eeeh, I don't know what to call it!
Regards Umberto
Anonymousabout 14 years agoI enjoyed the man's thought processes but other than that, the story was horrible.
Please find an editor before you attempt to write again. I also agree with the comment that said it seemed like you ran out of inspiration at the end.
Anonymousabout 14 years agothose characters must be, readers who could appreciate this too. Unless it was supposed to be in the "humour" categorie.
Anonymousabout 14 years agoMy jaws and stomach is paining from the laugh this story gave me. Thanks mate! And carry one writing such JOKES.
datadynabout 14 years agoBR you are spot on with your name as you are an ass indeed
Anonymousabout 14 years agoIs this supposed to be a joke. Get real. Rethink your future in writing erotica, you have none.
Anonymousabout 14 years agonever saw a dumber plot. as a joke it was a bad one where nobody laughed as a story, everything is missing, characters, intro of the couple ....... and what should have been erotic here ?
JustForPostingabout 14 years agoI stopped counting errors at 100.
Improper words, no punctuation, misspellings, wrong words, and tense shifts (often within a single sentence).
Not to mention the lousy plot, which is badly developed and populated with crappy characters.
I made a quick survey of some of your other works. They're all generally about this bad.
You must be writing for your own pleasure, 'cause it sure ain't for mine.
Anonymousabout 14 years agoI didn't know that this site let 6-yr old foreign exchange students post stories here
Anonymousabout 14 years agoWhoever you are you cannot communicate in English well enough to author ANYTHING for the public. Your writing is PAINFUL to read. Stop and never do it again. anon jerry
Anonymousabout 14 years agoSorry, he should of dumped the cheater. No reason for what she said was given. From you story you have to wonder why she did it other to enhance her position at work. She will cheat again, there will be no happily ever after. She is a cheater and she will cheat again. He did what his wife asked and left the house with no problem. She cheated and showed the whole world on the internet. She doesn't deserve you. Might want to have someone proof read before submitting.
C_frommnabout 14 years agoThis story was fine except for the Ending. I would have Divorced the Bitch and let her Tiny Dick Boss have Her.
Anonymousabout 14 years agoYour english is be all busticated. It's like reading something authored by a dyslexic elementary school child.
Anonymousabout 14 years agoYou need more description in the story. She apparently tastes her husband's cum and decides her mariage/husband is worth keeping. She was very nasty to her husband during her cheating. There was no indication as to why? He accepted these insults and again, why? He should divorce her and sue her boss and the company for alienation of affection. Let her fuck a little cock and eat bad tasting cum forever.
sexmateabout 14 years agoThere are no words for this piece of shit!
That was ca ca, crap, dung, BM, Poo, = pile of steaming SHIT!
zed0about 14 years agoObvuosley Inglish is secend langwage, but issa wimp yer first choice?
Anonymousabout 14 years agoWimp story, bad english, stop writting and save yourself a lot of trouble.
88girfriendabout 14 years agoYou may want to look at the editors that this site offers. Your story was OK you have done better in the past. You need to expand the story a bit seems to stop kinda short.
Anonymousover 13 years agoJust stupid. You're testing to see if we're all as stupid as you...right?
Quit - Just quit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymousabout 13 years agoOne of the truly awful stories on literotica. Your command of grammer is horrible.
Anonymousabout 13 years ago1. Retarded, 2. A moron, 3. Too young or illiterate to understand what you are writing about, 4. Crazy 5. Other, or 6. Some combination of these? This is truely awful! The jealous husband just sits there while the wife does a semen taste test?? OMG WTF!
Anonymousabout 13 years agoYou have got to be kidding me. Have you ever heard of Spell Check? Awful. Try again but keep it to yourself.
tazz317over 11 years agofuck her...kick his ass....and then adios and lawyersville, TK U MLJ LV NV
Anonymousover 11 years agoDid you even proofread it once before sending it in? The story is stupid. No explanation why wife wants to fuck the boss or why husband would put up with it. Please don't write any more stories. I hope this was a parody but you have no talent. Stop!
Anonymousover 11 years agonever told us why ity happened and never NEVER did he get mad and get any revenge!!! bad bad story
Sigintover 10 years agoor BADLY need an editor. By the way, the story sucked.
Anonymousover 10 years ago1) the story itself
2) spelling
3) the wrong word for the context
4) grammar
Anonymousover 9 years agoI hope this was written by a non-English speaker. If not, the writer is a moron and should never post another story on this site.
Anonymousabout 9 years agoJesus, look spot see jane suck dicks dick, my first grade reader was Better written....
jasjonover 8 years agoUndoubtedly the stupidest shit I have ever read. Please stop writing and choke on a dick.(you'd like that)
Anonymousover 6 years agoDid you set out to shit on this website or was it by accident?
Anonymousabout 6 years agoThought I had read some bad stories but boy was I wrong.Please don't give up your day job
Dunny69over 5 years agoI think you had no intention of writing a serious story I think you typed this shite I don't ut to,get a reactor on and you have, well done. Now that you've achieved your stupid aim perhaps you'll find another avenue of interest and move on. Good luck.
Anonymousover 5 years agoYou are a lonely smuck.
Anonymousabout 5 years agowhy would he even think of keeping the bitch when she told him she was getting sex elsewhere it would have been time to go and find someone who will stay faithful not that whore
Anonymousabout 4 years agoOne of the worst stories I have read. Another Wimpy Sissy Boy used by a slut wife for her own satisfaction
