All Comments on 'Sex Pet Recovery Ch. 06 - CHANGES'

I think you should get an experienced proof-reader or editor to go over a few of these. This chapter has a 36 line paragraph, one of the longest I've ever seen on this site. That isn't a good thing in 2023.

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Most paragraphs in modern non-technical english are in the range of 3 to 6 simple declaratory sentences. The 36 line paragraph could've been easily broken down in to numerous paragraphs if you wanted a massive upgrade in readability.

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Some of the comma usage was oddball, hurting sentence structure and readability, but that is minor by comparison.

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In the last chapter you disappeared "Roy", a character I couldn't recall, and you provided zero context for who he was or what happened to him. That seems like a poor plot sequence for an episodic fiction series.

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It's an interesting story. Good luck going forward.