Sexy Lexi Ch. 03: Doubts

Lexi is back after a hiatus. I've changed the story to first person present tense POV because it felt more natural. Please let me know if you think it's an improvement.

This series has or will have themes of dubious consent, gaslighting, manipulation, food control, so be forewarned. I'm not yet sure how dark it will go, but I'm definitely a dark fantasy girly. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

----

I wake up later than usual, relieved not to have any early meetings. My head throbs and my body feels heavy, almost as if I had a hungover. I didn't think it was from the drinks, there weren't that many. It feels more like a combination of regret and release from the orgasm Gideon forced me to watch.

At 7:30am, my phone buzzes. It's Gideon. I vaguely remember he said he would call. Despite hating talking on the phone with anyone outside my family, I answer, my voice still groggy.

"Hello?" I rasp, not knowing what to expect from him.

"Good morning Lexi. I just wanted to tell you how beautiful you were last night. Especially as you squirted all over my floor."

Oh god, I probably left a puddle on his floor. I briefly wonder if it would have been polite to clean it before I left. I say instead, "I'm so sorry. I didn't even think about that."

"Never apologize for how you enjoy my touch. Your body was my instrument, my toy, and it did exactly what it should do when touched just right. Did you enjoy the show, Lexi?"

Images of my own reflection flash through my mind. My nakedness. Gideon's clothed arms wrapped around me, touching everything. The red flush on my chest and cheeks. The sound of my pussy as he fingered me. My eyes hooded in lust. The feeling of being exposed, of being a slut for Gideon and for myself. The embarrassment of acting that way the morning after. There were too many conflicting feelings for me to sort out.

I laugh nervously. "It was intense."

"Don't be embarrassed. You made me proud."

Proud? That's a funny way to put it. Why would acting like an unhinged slut make anyone proud? Why should I want to make him proud? It didn't make sense, but it wasn't unappealing either.

"Good girl," he adds.

I've only ever heard those words used towards dogs and children, and I am neither. I'm a grown independent woman. But they still make something in my chest purr warmly.

Gideon continues before I could figure out how to respond.

"You got so wet while undressing for me, didn't you? You liked me watching you."

A quiet "Mmmm" of agreement escapes my lips before I could stop it.

"I bet your pussy is still wet for me this morning. Check for me, Lexi."

I have never had phone sex before but I recognize where this is going. Without giving myself any chance to think about it, I sleepily move my right hand between my legs. I slide one finger into my slit and find it still soaking. Enjoying the feeling, I lazily continue to tease myself.

"Well," Gideon snaps impatiently. "Is it still a mess?"

"Mmmm," is all I dare to say.

"Are you touching your needy little pussy now, Lexi?"

"Mmmm."

"Think about what I'm going to do to you next time. What do you want me touch? To lick? To fuck? You've only seen what my fingers can do. Imagine what else I can do to you. What I can make you feel."

As Gideon speaks, I circle my clit with my finger. This is how I most often masturbate. It is familiar and efficient and I can always make myself climax. And isn't going to take much that morning, with Gideon's baritone voice talking dirty to me.

"I want to hear you cum, Lexi."

"My name is Alexandra" I burst out, while still rubbing my slick clit.

Gideon chuckles, clearly amused. "Alexandra doesn't cum on street corners or watch herself squirt all over a stranger's floor. Alexandra certainly doesn't make herself cum on the phone on command. Lexi does though. And you do want to cum so badly don't you, Lexi?"

I whisper "yes please".

In a self satisfied tone, he says "then make yourself cum for me, Lexi."

I was trying to be quiet before, but now I was making sure he could hear how I felt. It was less of a performance and more like letting down my guard. My breaths become loud and heady, turning into moans as I increase the stimulation to my clit.

I think about Gideon on the phone, listening to me, as I touch myself. I think about him calling me Lexi even though I told him not to. Somehow, I like that he does it anyway. I imagine being Lexi - that carefree pleasure seeking girl exploring all sorts of wild things with Gideon. Maybe I can be like that with him - his Lexi. Maybe even continue making him proud.

As if he can read my thoughts, he says firmly "cum, Lexi, now."

I start furiously rubbing my clit, knowing it would be enough to push me over the edge. A few seconds later, I start whispering "I'm gonna cum" over and over again, with each iteration more desperate than the last. Then suddenly I can't speak anymore, I can't breathe. I groan in pleasure as a jolt of electricity spreads from my sex to every inch of my body, curling my toes.

"Good girl, Lexi. You please me." A girly squeak of pleasure escapes my lips. It is somehow more embarrassing than the fact that I just came for him.

"I'm going out of town on business until Wednesday," he continues. "Keep Friday open for me."

"Oh." I am strangely disappointed. I realize I was hoping to see him, and frankly fuck him, this weekend.

"I'll make it up to to you. And that's a promise. For now, time to get out of bed, you horny slut." He hangs up the phone.

----

I manage to get out of bed and shower, not wanting to smell like my own sex all day. I throw myself into my work, trying not to let thoughts about Gideon or Lexi - whoever she is - from distracting me.

I make plans for drinks with the girls on Saturday night so I decide to stay in on Friday. I curl up on the sofa rewatching a 90s romcom. The guy in the movie is rejected by the love interest at the start, he continues to pursue her anyway. I recognize that's problematic, but I can't help but feel warm and giddy when he eventually wins her over. It's one of my favourites.

I go to bed early, still not letting myself think about Gideon.

The next day I go out with my friends to a cocktail bar. I put on a cute like summer dress and ballet flats. I can't help but imagine Gideon's disapproval at the lack of heels, but I wear them anyway, almost in defiance. I look cute but don't expect to be hit on, not when all my friends are gorgeous and much more petite than I am.

I don't tell them about Gideon. I'm not even sure why. They're progressive women like me. They aren't shy about sex and regularly share stories about one night stands, or even threesomes with a boyfriend. But I have no idea what to say about Gideon, and I suspect they would disapprove if I told them too much. They know I despise nicknames. They would know how messed up it is that he still calls me Lexi even though I told him to stop. I probably know it too. No, I do know it. I also know that if I speak it into words, I'd have to stop it from going further. I'm not ready for that because I realize I do want to see where it goes.

I return home alone, a bit tipsy again. Alcohol always has the effect of making me extremely aware of my pussy. I crawled into bed naked instead of in my usual pj's. I decide to give myself an orgasm or two before falling asleep.

I don't often watch porn, but I pull up an adult site anyway. I wanted to avoid thinking about Gideon at all. It was too confusing and I just wanted a simple happy cum. As I scroll through the video thumbnails, one catches my eye. A thin girl with very large breasts is on her knees in front of a mirror. I click it and press play. She's fucking herself with a dildo in the mirror. I pull my trusty Hitachi out from my drawer, turn it on, and press it to my already wet clit. As the dildo goes in and out at a fastening pace, her huge tits bounce with the movement. I'm mesmerized. I start bucking my hips against the vibe to match her rhythm. Within just a few minutes, I cum hard and fast. The orgasm isn't as satisfying as the one I had on the phone with Gideon, but it's enough to clear the cobwebs from my brain.

I quickly turn off the porn and clear my browser history. I put away the vibe and fall asleep.

When I wake the next day, I can't hide from my thoughts. It's obvious I was so drawn to that porn because it was similar to Gideon making me watch myself cum in the mirror. Which, if I'm being honest, was one of the hottest things I've ever experienced.

Still, something about Gideon feels off. I sense that if I keep seeing him, the sex will be out of this world but it would involve things that should make me hesitate. Like calling me Lexi when he knows it's not my name. Or making me wear heels higher than comfortable or clothes that are too revealing. In general, he has clearly outdated ideas about men and women that I'm uneasy with.

By Sunday evening, I resolve to end it.

By Sunday night, I'm cumming to the same porn of the girl in the mirror while imagining what Gideon may have planned for me on Friday.

On Monday, in the light of day, I again decide to reject Gideon. I even go so far as to suggest a movie on Friday with a friend, just so I'd be busy when Gideon said he'd take me out. That night, I'm actively searching for porn that's even more similar to my night at Gideon's in the mirror. I can't find anything exactly right, but the blonde being fucked from behind against a mirror was enough to get me off within a few minutes.

Tuesday comes and goes. I end it cumming to a blonde with fake tits squirting over a man's hand.

Wednesday, I'm anxious all day. I know Gideon will be coming back. I don't know when and I don't know if he'll text me or not. I'm almost afraid of my phone anytime it vibrates. He never texts but my friend tells me she can't meet Friday for the movie. Shit. I'm free again. If I reject Gideon I don't have an easy excuse to fall back on.

I don't even know if I want to reject him. He's awoken my more sensual side. I've felt more beautiful and confident since I met him. My sex drive has been ramped up too. I wonder, and not for the first time, if I'm capable of thinking straight about this issue. Every time I think of Gideon, I feel a warmth in my pussy - just enough to make my thoughts a bit clouded.

That night, I watch a porn of a girl getting fucked from behind. She's naked, he's in a suit.

It's Thursday evening. My hormones are all over the place. None of my orgasms - of which there are far more than usual - are enough. They just make me feel more on edge. Gideon still hasn't reached out and it's getting late. I crawl into bed and pull up that first video, of the girl with the big breasts in the mirror. I have my Hitachi out and on my clit, vibrating on the lowest setting. That's when Gideon calls. I answer, the vibe still between my legs, but turned off.

"Lexi. Did you miss me?" I can almost hear his cocky grin through the phone.

Instead of answering his question, I say "I've kept myself busy just fine without you." I am still wavering about wanting to see him again. I know I shouldn't, but I want to. I recognize that being interrupted masturbating wasn't going to help my resolve but figure if I am rude enough, he'll make the decision to end it for me.

"Oh? Doing what?" He sounds amused, not put off at all.

"You know, normal activities that don't involve being degraded."

"Is that what you were, Lexi? A degraded little slut, cumming for me in any way I want you to?"

I don't know how to respond, partially because it is turning me on despite myself.

"Well, Lexi, tell me what you were doing when I called you."

How did he know? Could he tell? "Getting ready for bed." I say a little too quickly.

"And how exactly were you getting ready for bed?"

"Brushing my teeth."

"The only thing a lie will get you is punished."

I have no idea how he could tell I was lying. Or maybe he was just guessing. I didn't know. But something about his commanding tone makes me want to tell the truth.

"Watching porn," I blurt out.

"Good girl, Lexi. Send me the link. Now." I do.

I can hear the porn through his speaker now. I'm breathing quickly, feeling so exposed and vulnerable. I've never shared with anyone the porn I watch. It just felt way too personal, especially this one because Gideon will know it's linked to him.

"Tell me what you like about it," he says. I don't respond right away, trying to find something true that he won't take as a win. He notices my hesitancy and adds "tell me what you like about her."

"Her breasts," I say much more easily.

"Lexi likes her big bouncy breasts. Good. Is it because you want to suck on them, or because you want them?"

"Both," I admit.

"Have you ever sucked a girl's tits before Lexi?"

"No."

"You mean, not yet. Do you want implants, Lexi?"

I pause. I have thought about it but not seriously. I guess I like the way giant bolt-on tits look, if I'm being absolutely honest with myself. I've never told anyone this. I'm used to hearing derogatory comments about women with fake breasts - other women looking down on them, men objectifying them. I know it would affect how people treat me, so it's not like I really want them. It's kept me from doing anything other than silently admire them. I'm not ready to admit any of it to Gideon though he correctly interprets my silence.

He laughs. "That's a yes. What else do you like about the video, Lexi? Do you like how she's exposed in the mirror?"

"Yes," I acknowledge quietly.

"Do you like how it reminds you of how you felt when I fingered you in the mirror?"

"Yes," I admit again. I'm feeling flustered. The vibe is still between my legs. With a mad thought, I'm tempted to turn it on. I probably would if I knew Gideon couldn't hear it. I'm not sure if it's because I'd be embarrassed if he hears it, or annoyed that he'd feel so smug knowing he has this effect on me. Or maybe it's because I'm waiting - hoping - he gives me instructions to touch myself, knowing it would feel better only to touch with his permission.

"Where were your fingers when I called you tonight, Lexi?"

"On my vibrator," I say, expecting the conversation to go where I craved.

"Good girl, Lexi. I bet it's still there you little slut. Turn it on, I want to hear it."

I obey. The buzzing sound fills the room.

"Put me on speaker. Turn the porn back on." I do. "You're going to tease yourself for me, Lexi. Just think about that girl in the video. How she's performing, not just for herself in the mirror, but for all the horny men and slutty girls like you who will watch it while touching themselves. Think about how good that must feel. How desired she is."

I can't help be pulled in by his words, the porn, and the vibrator. I can feel the pressure build up in my core.

"Imagine feeling like that all day, every day. No worries or stress - just pleasure. Pleasure for yourself and for those watching you."

I imagine it. It seems like a good lifestyle. Much better than being stressed out all day with work. Just pleasure. The tension in my pussy increases even though I am just stimulating my clit.

"Lexi, wouldn't you want to be like this beautiful girl? Don't you want to live for pleasure? It's so easy to do, if you have someone to guide you. I can make you into that Lexi."

I whimper at his words. It all sounds so appealing. So sexy. So easy.

"Lexi, will you let me show how good life can be as a happy little slut?"

"Yes" I breathe out in between moans.

"Good girl, Lexi. I have plans for you tomorrow. I'll pick you at 7 for dinner. Don't eat after 11am. Wear your nicest lingerie. Understand?"

Not really sure I did understand, I say yes anyway as the vibrator and the porn keep my head soft and my body fuzzy.

"Now keep staring at her tits. Aren't they beautiful Lexi? Watch them bounce. Up and down. Up and down." I'm mesmerized as every inch of my body tenses up, ready to be released.

"Keep going. Just a little bit more, Lexi. You're doing so well. Don't cum yet. Just enjoy the vibe. Enjoy her tits. Doesn't that feel nice?"

"Mmmmm" I moan softly, followed by "I'm gonna cum".

"Turn off the vibe," Gideon says suddenly and so firmly I can't help but obey. I wait a moment, panting from the tension. Waiting for him to tell me to continue.

"Good girl. Such an obedient horny little slut. Now put the vibe away. No touching until I see you again. Do you understand, Lexi?"

I stammer, "Wh-whaat? Why?".=

He laughs gently. "I won't explain myself to you. All I need is confirmation that you understand."

I'm feeling desperate and needy. It takes all I have not to whine like a child. I just say "I understand".

"Good girl. Oh and Lexi, I'll know if you did touch. So don't get any ideas. Good night, sweet slut." The call ends.