All Comments on 'Shy Guy At Work - A Short Story'

Not a bad little tale, but spoiled by the use of the present tense, making the read stilted and destroying the flow.

Interesting premise.

Use of present tense is distracting.

Sex moves ahead much too fast.

Needs to slow down.

Needs much more in the way of preliminaries/foreplay before cock enters pussy.

Needs more explanation about why she's so easily dominated.

Needs him telling her to do things to him. To his cock. To his balls. With her hands. With her mouth. Using her tits.

Him getting her close to orgasm, but then not allowing it right away would be good.

Including tags would help.

Three stars.

I really liked this, but the story felt rushed, you should slow down next time. 4 stars!