Skeeter 05

Skeeter 05

"What's all this then, Darla Darlings?"

"I mean, Skeeter, I just feel bad about causing such a riff and a tiff between you and the Ballz brothers, that's all. But the truth is, I mean, I am going to marry Brad Ballz and I might have freaked out over the thought of you standing up in my wedding as Blake Ballz' date. And the other truth is that my driving record is such a mess that they are going to suspend my driver's license like forever, so?"

"Oh, so that's why you brought up Officer Down & Dirty then. You need a favor from me, right?"

"Well, yeah, but I don't know how all this "it's a tie" stuff works, but however it works, it's important that I stay morally clean and pure to Brad Ballz, so is it a tie if you say something to Officer Disgusting in exchange for a personal bra fitting as advertised on your Chang advice page? A morally appropriate bra fitting, of course, so?"

Oh, I mean, if you remember from the last chapter, I only said that I was the pages Admin for a proper bra fitting blog and only because so many, many women buy their bras based on style and personal tastes, rather the appropriate fit and function. And as just the page's Admin for the advice page, LOL, I don't know jack about it and it's the followers actually answer all the inquires, but you know, I get the credit. Not that I complain about being referred to as Sweetie Skeeter with the solutions.

"Darla Darlings, it's a good tie and I'll do what I can with Officer Gay Blade since he has unofficially claimed me as his innocent step sister, but my chewies, Darla Darlings, my chewies! Also, yum, yum with this cola you brought me, Darla Darlings."

"Skeeter, obviously, you should drive, but the way I see it, we swing by Officer Deep Hole's place for five minutes and then to the store to get you your precious chewies and then since we are both be dressed, I mean what's the harm if you and I spent a few minutes out then? And "out" in a morally compass way, of course. Also, you didn't answer my question about if you preferred me to jack you off into a wash cloth or if you preferred to wear a condom? All in a morally acceptable way, of course, which means if you prefer me to sex you down in a condom, then I won't swallow the contents in front of you. To be morally correct to my upcoming wedding to Brad Ballz, of course, so? I mean, don't a lot of Tranny's on Chang just run around all day while wearing a condom anyways and making memes about it, hmm?"

"I mean, Darla Darlings, yes, no and maybe, but our remaining morally acceptable time spent "out" isn't going to be on the seedy end of the Strip or anything, right?"

"Well, Skeeter, switching up your street worker slut fishnet ensemble from the last two weekends for a short plaid pleated skirt with nylons and a garter belt this weekend is basically the same thing. You look pretty good, by the way. Like a pretty slut with really noticeable legs, so."

Anyways folks, what's important here is that Darla Darlings just said that I was a pretty little, well, that I look pretty in a short-pleated skirt, so.

"Um, Skeeter, I mean, you are wearing undies under your little skirt, right?"

[Oh, a quick skirt morally inappropriate flip and peek then]

"Huh, you know, size might matter, but not so much in the mouth department, which, OMG, what am I saying then! Um, oh, ooh, well, wait, I can't ask you to do this, Skeeter! It's not like I hate you and my nerves about this are not what I thought they would be, so you can back out right now, if you feel the same, so?"

Like I wasn't going out after shimming my body into my new skirt and crop top, right!

"Well, I might usually back out on something like this, Darla Darlings, but my nerves sort of feel like I swallowed a red pill, so let's do this."

"Just one more sip of your cola sweetie and we'll fill your, well, you don't have any pockets, but we'll get you all the chewies you can chew, yep, one more sip, sweetie, oops, LOL, you're drooling it a little, so, okay, that's enough, Skeeter."

[Light headed feeling]

"Darla Darlings, did I finish my personalized bra fitting for you already?"

"Oh, you did, Skeeter and it was very, very morally appropriate. I mean, you tried to tit fuck me, but with your little, well, you know, right Skeeter?"

"[Giggle] Yeah, but I gave it the old college try, right Darla Darlings?"

"Sis boom bah, Skeeter, sis boom bah. Now, let's get with this."

Well, I knew all along anyways because her shirt made it clear, from the very moment she walked in my front door that she wasn't even wearing a bra that day, but I posted on Chang that I went all sis boom bah and stuff anyways, so.

"We're here at Officer Do Me Next's place, so wait here, keep the 5 minutes timer going and the engine running, so cool Darla Darlings?"

"You're really hot, I mean, got it, Skeeter. And thank you for not making me bare my boobs for you today, Skeeter, it's important that I remain morally intact for Brad Ballz, so good luck in there with Officer Pucker Rim then."

Well, Darla Darlings promised me that she balance a couple of chewies on her morally intact nipples later, so.

[Knock, knock]

"Damn, if you weren't my unofficial step sister and more of a BDSM butch fag, I mean, damn, Skeeter, you dress up real nice and all!"

"Officer Bends Over, my friend Darla Darlings says that referring to me as your honorary step sister is more morally appropriate, so?"

"Well, I don't do girls, but if I did, I'd do this friend of yours Darla Darlings then! I like "honorary step sister" and that's our new thing then, so?"

[Knock, knock]

"Oops, hi, excuse, me, oops, hi, I'm morally correct Darla Darlings and Skeeter is here on my behalf, but I'm nervous for his safety and I got tired of waiting in SUV after just 30 seconds, so. Also, oops, Skeeter made a boo-boo and attached his garter straps to his nylons and we don't need all that, so."

[Unsnap, dangle, unsnap, dangle]

"Whoa, Skeeter, you little fly boy dawg, you! One more time, Miss Morally Correct Darla Darlings, one more time then."

[Stretch, snap, stretch, snap, unsnap, dangle, unsnap, dangle]

"Well, pull my trigger and call me out for the faggot that I am then! Quick, out to the front porch before my other fag friends get a whiff of all this! Well, except for Nate. He can't whiff anything with that zipper leather hood that he wears."

Well, outside was better than inside. Also, LOL, if you thought the old abandoned Railroad Station from the last chapter was dirty, I mean, outside on the porch was better than on the inside of Officer Blade's door.

Also, Nate? My new party store Nate? LOL, yep and he looks good sitting in the arm chair staring at whatever he was staring at, which I couldn't tell because of the leather zipper hood and all.

"Um, Missy, Missy Moral Clause, what's in it for me then and I've already committed to my honorary step sister Skeeter that no harm will ever come to him, so?"

"I mean, Officer Gay Blade, you pulled over my friend Josh a couple of weeks ago during the explosion at the Lava Java Coffee Shop, but you had to let him off to rescue your honorary step sister, Skeeter, from a brutal date, but Josh may have squealed his wheels in front of you on purpose because he is a faggot wannabe and with your rep and all and I'm pretty sure he would love to trade off day dreaming about whimpering under the weight of a man, so? One man at a time and his safe word is, well, I have no idea what his safe word is, but everyone seems to have one and you must to commit to his safety in honor of your honorary step sister, Skeeter, so?"

"Hmm, I like this one, Skeeter! So, condoms? I mean, the doctor says that my odd skin tone condition down there will clear up in about six years, so?"

"A must, an absolute must and his safe word is, well I still don't know what his safe word is, so?"

I mean, at least I looked nice in my skirt as they went back and forth and apparently didn't even need me anymore, so.

"Alright, I'll clear up your driving record as best as I can, but what are you going to do for my honorary step sister, Skeeter then, hmm? He's a good person and he knows how to keep the flow going, so?"

"We have a plan, Officer Tosses Salad, it's a little immoral, but I'm not married yet, so?"

"Skeeter, you're crazy to let this one get too far away from you, but it's a tie, so sold!"

[Car creeps in driveway slowly]

"Oh, he brough Marcus with him then. They are both sex hungry fem boy wannabe's and I still don't know what Josh's safe word is, so."

So, like two ships passing in the night then? With very little exchange and acknowledgement between the two passing ships? But with two of the ships stuffing a hundo each in Darla Darlings hand then? Like they were that sex starved or something?

I mean, Josh whispered to me as he passed me, so.

"(You're so lucky to be able to look that good in nylons and a skirt, Skeeter.)"

"(Try a treadmill or the park track, Josh.)"

"(But I thought fag guys liked a big spread back there?)"

Well, whatever, I had business to conclude with the moral compass known as Darla Darlings anyways.

"[Gulp], oops, I just changed my mind after thinking about how immoral it might be if I swallowed your sissy juice from a condom, Skeeter, so, oops. Also, ooh la, la, you taste great straight from the nipple and oops, I didn't say "nipple" based on your size, but it's cute as all get out and because Brad Ballz tastes so disgusting, I mean maybe we can remain as close friends on the side for the first couple of years after Brad Ballz and I get married, so."

[Flick, flick, flick, yep, cute as all get out]

"That was my first, Darla Darlings, so, so, okay to remaining close friends then!"

"Alright, one more stop for the night since you still look a little like a street worker, okay?"

"Ah, Darla Darlings, anywhere but the seedy end of the Strip!"

"Skeeter, we're out and we're dressed, so 30 minutes, tops!"

Oh, I've read that book and seen that movie before! 30 minutes is code for 2 hours.

"Seriously, Darla Darlings, we're going to visit a Fortune Teller on the seedy end of the Strip and her name is Madam Madeline? Seriously?"

"Come on, fly boy. A 10 minutes top session and my first born will be your first-born baby then, so?"

Oh, ah, huh? What?

"Oh, my children, oh, come sit and allow the winds of change to tell your fortunes. Oh, oh my, I see the winds of the moral compass have been tempted and that there has been a tasting of the other good life that might have been, if one of you hadn't committed to a, well, the winds of change don't judge, but Ballz isn't as it appears. $45 please."

"Madam Madeline, you can't stop there! Also, hey, I'm Skeeter and I'm innocent, right?"

"Shut it, fly boy, and listen to what the breezes brings. Also, slip another $20 across the table."

[Swish, $20 slides across]

"(Darla Darlings, I like "fly boy", right?)"

"(I think so, Skeeter, finish your spiked cola and hush.)"

[Stuffs the $20 in her poorly fitting bra]

"Woo, woo, ooh, the winds of change have shown that Ballz was Balinger before some faggot told the Balinger brothers that sucking balls wasn't real or gay sex, so, beware of where you moral compass may go, woo, woo, ooh, times up."

[Swish, another $20 slides across]

[Stuffs the other $20 in her still poorly fitting bra]

"Alright weed hopper, you're girl here is whip ass as a person, but her fiancée is a long time ball sucking faggot and ball sucking usually leads to other sucking, so. Also, I think I've seen his picture on my son's fireplace mantel, so?"

"OMG, I mean, Officer Gay Blade then, Madam Madeline?"

"Duh, now are you the fly boy with the Chang advice page on a proper bra fitting?"

[Huh, one of the $20's slide back! With a small bag of chewies]

Also, well, Darla Darlings was fit to be tied with this news! Or she considered it a tie given her very immoral, yet moral behavior. Either way, we still went to the store later and picked up even more bags of chewies and maybe she rubbed my back for a while after we got back to my place.

Or the cola Darla Darlings had me drink was really spiked and nothing happened.

End Skeeter 05