All Comments on 'Someday Ch. 02'

no, it was not as long as I would like. I like at least two FULL pages. I am really curious to see where this is going. Keep up the good work.

At some point Dana will have to face up to how she told her best friends that she was moving. She can try and apologize. Its understandable she wanted to avoid the drama back then but that was kind of selfish. I'm quite sure she would've been upset and would have like to known if Avery or Chelsea had to move and left they way she did.

Echoing the others, you want to have 2 full pages at least. If you are having writer's block already that does not bode well. I would step back and decide where you want the story to go before writing more. You have 2 likeable characters in Avery and Dana, have them hang out and/or go on dates. Each chapter does not need to have big dramatic scenes in them. Developing their relationship over time will bring the readers along too.

Although you have developed a good picture of Avery, I still do not have a solid picture of Dana in my mind. Due to the Beyonce reference I assume she is African American but beyond that nothing. Have Avery look and her, noting her features during a date in his mind, instead of just describing her.

Avery described her in the first chapter. o_o. And it's not that I necessarily had writer's block, but I just didn't know how I'd end that chapter, so I ended it like that. I didn't think that writing chapters with one page would be that bad, considering I update often and it wouldn't be a problem to me. And this isn't just pointed towards you, but guys, please don't be too pushy. This chapter came out not even a week after the other one, so that's fine. I've been having problems with my laptop so I had to write this chapter on my phone. It's annoying. So when my laptop gets back to factory state, I'll try to write longer chapters.

Sorry if I sounded pushy about the page count. Actually I follow another series on Lit which the author releases it one page at a time. If that is what you are comfortable with go for it. And yes you DID describe Dana in part 1, it just did not register for some reason.

Oh fucking hell, can see it not, this will never be finished, the writer already ran out of ideas. In future, maybe don't post anything til you have finished the story. And no, this was not long enough.

Most of you commenting don't have the first story written , yet you have so much feedback on what and how a person should write/post his/her stories on this site. Seeing as this site is free and these writers aren't getting paid, they are under no obligations to you readers for time restraints or content length. People do have other more important things to besides trying to keep people on a free site appeased.

That was good!! Chels is a bitch!! Love Avery and Dana together!!

Go get something better to do than insult people online. I indeed did NOT run out of ideas, but I'm in College, and I'm also trying to focus on my studies. I hate to be rude, but get a life. Shut the fuck up and eat a twinkie.

ANYWAY, for everyone who enjoys the story, I finished writing the 3rd chapter today, and it should be published in a few days. Thanks.

I like this story...ignore the haters. Yes there are a few errors, but that's ok. You're putting your work out there to be critiqued. It isn't an easy thing writing stories. I love Avery and Dana. I really want you to continue this story, it will just get better and better. Good job!!

Being rude, even to people you feel are being rude to you, isn't a good look. I understand where you're coming from, but when you put your work in the public to be critiqued, you have to accept the negative with the positive. There are trolls online who have nothing better to do than to be rude, but there are also people who want to fall in love with a story and bad grammar and super short chapters turn them off. Sadly your attitude along with the errors and short chapters have turned me completely off. I won't be reading any further. I wish you well with your writing though.