All Comments on 'Splashdown Ch. 03'

Still interesting, but so damn slow going anywhere.

It’s like watching a train wreck. You just can’t help yourself. 5 stars.

This story is one big repetitive rambling, same thing being said by multiple characters. It kinda reminds me of the Mojo Jojo supervillain from the Powerpuff Girls cartoon except without the humor.

"Stop! Cease! Desist! Do not continue with your ramblings for myramblings are the ramblings to obeyed for I am the king, supreme leader, and all-around dictator! Don't you see!? All you monkeys are my plan! So your plans are my plans, because you made plans and my plan was to make you! I plan to rule the planet, not to have my plan's plan to stop me! I am your creator! I am your king! I am MOJO JOJO!"

The story concept is decent. Just advance storyline instead flogging it to death.

Three chapters containing about one chapter's worth of content. The premise and characters are good, but I think the author is trying to make the story as long and repetitive as possible instead of something readable and entertaining. AT this point I'm planning on waiting for the final chapter to see how things work out.

Have this cunt served when she comes back home . Devorice this cunt and move on. No cunt is worth all the bullshit he has gone through. As it is when she gets back it will more of the same shit different day.

Anon so next, 🤣

Some of the rest of you need to realize this story is for thinking not for a quick jerk. May want to give it a pass.

To much story buildup, very slow so far. Needs to be more concise and to the point.

Remember what Peggy said:

"I put my head in my hands wondering how I was ever going to fix this. There was something more, something that stayed just out of my reach. I wondered when I finally grasped it, if it would spell doom or salvation."

1. Gary emphatically said actions speak louder than words.

2. Peggy spoke with Kathy and encouraged her to provide "comfort" for Gary. An action that demonstrates her total commitment to her husband but carries the risk that they will develop an ongoing relationship.

3. Peggy develops a relationship with a Russian astronaut. Whether sexual or not, it's the appearance.

4. Gary is suspended from the CIA because the security risk posed by his wife. Otherwise, why the emphasis on his job and its critical importance to him.

5. Peggy divorces Gary to remove the security risk and retain his status.

6. Gary and Kathy are together while Peggy is a star in the space program and is offered another flight.

If this is what happens, you don't need to drag this out over eleven chapters. And yes, if there would be less extraneous babbling, the story would move much better.

I hope there will be more to the story than the obvious.

Samson

So far, CL, I think I understand the plot direction, but I have to tell you, if you end up with a selfish bitch of a wife screwing one if not all of those fucking Russians during the mission, I am going to feel pretty let down. This outcome has been raised repeatedly during the three chapters. What, after Splashdown when the capsule and its crew are recovered, we get to see an image of an obviously pregnant wife?! Please tell me this will not happen! If it does what exactly is the point of all this pre-flight argument bullshit between the couple? I cautiously await your subsequent chapters......

Choppedliver,

I tend to agree with many of the other posters. I personally like character development. I like the tension between the husband and wife. But, you could be more economical with your words. There is a lot of redundancy in these chapters, especially this last one. You have the potential to write really well, but you need to address the pace and allow for some readers to remember what they read on the previous page.

All in all good work

Gone from a action man who attacks kitchen tables , to a whiny guy that will accept anything as long as you please come back to me , Russian sperm bank in space

When she reaches space the desire supressing drug will mysteriously fail and her drive will return magnified. She will soon be floating in the station airtight surrounded by three virile studs. The drug also failed as a contraceptive so the continuous gangbang had the predictable result. The surprise came with the medical exams, 5 fetuses with three sets of male DNA present. So at least one baby from each manly Russian. And the gangbang videos released on the internet revealed her unbridled lust and joy from her three man gangbang sessions. The Russians had brought 4K video cameras so every angle was covered. What will her husband do? How many NASA scientists and Russians will vanish?

Correct me if I'm wrong

The premise is - CIA operator and astronaut, both professions require high intellect and stress resistance, are conflicted over abstinence, like two 18 year olds, and can't properly communicate.

Really?

This is why when I see part one or chapter one, I just pass on it. Might possibly pick up the completed series later. As for now, on to somebody else's story.

Part 3 was a rehash of part 2, with Peggy telling Kathy everything. It is an intriguing, analytical plotline, but after making a point there is a lot of repetition. If all 11 have been written, why not release them all? What is the benefit of releasing one per day? It is easier to follow the whole stopry if all the chapters can be binge-read, like a netflix series.

Chapter one recap

man thinks his oversexed wife wont remain faithful

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chapter two recap

Russian intelligence has co opt the American government to conspire to get one woman to cheat on one man that Russian intelligence officers really dont like, and 10,000 words were expended to express the six word sentiment of "I'm disappointed you stopped respecting me"

.

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chapter three recap

the consipracy theory is real, wife doesnt care and planed to get gang banged in space anyway

Gary will stick with Peg until she gets back on Tera-forma, but Dr. Kathy is single and only a few years older then Peg/Gary. And Kathy is sympathetic to Gary over Peg's narcissist blunders.

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If this new wonder drug in Peg can create total celibacy the Rooskies have their work cut out in seducing/compromising Peg or will Zero-G negate the effectiveness of NASA's experimental wonder drug ( NASA quasi-secret female wonder-drug is actually an experiment that Peg is ignorant - of which Gary will discover and wreak havoc on NASA Exec & Medical)?

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3.8****, Hooyah, but I've started the 'skim & skip' reading or I'll give up

The story isn't perfect, but I find myself liking it and waiting for the next part. I do enjoy your stories and hope you contribute many more.

All the excessive endless psycho-blabbering is not made for nothing, it's needed. A sort of brain-washing to justify a simple fact: a cheating b1tch wife and an idiot childish husband story. The problem here is not the russian or the NASA: the problem is the sluttish and liar behaviour of the wife and the huge stupid and submissive behaviour of the husband. In a such situation there is only a solution: divorce months before the space orgy. One other solution could be: 3 beautiful hookers, paid by NASA, all for the husband, for the same amount of time of the space experiment. And the divorce after that.

DEAR FUCKING GOD, pause publishing this, edit it so there isn’t one page of story in four pages of posting, and let us get on with our lives.

Incredibly repetitive. The writing itself was good but the story just circled the same ground over and over and over again. Those 4 pages probably could have been one and some change. Sorry, like I said, the writing is good but that was a lot of it to only advance the plot such a short distance.

I don't know what to write about next. Gary forgave Peggy in advance for whatever she did at the station. What will the next eight parts be about? What kind of positions is she going to fuck the Russians?

I’m getting into the story. My only complaint is the wait for the next part.

Edit…edit… edit.. It’s the most important step in writing.

This psychological examination is interesting, but unending. Part of good writing is being succinct. Work on it.

Skip everything in between. It helps.

Gary is just too codependent. That isn't love. He already said that she would be forgiven for having sex with his sworn enemies? Not likely. If he was that hurt, it would start to destroy his love for her and his belief in the relationship to the point that he would divorce her

This is really frustrating because you have the setup of a great story here. But this thing is just too much of a wade! It could be a quarter this length. I don't approve of skimming but anybody stayijng with this thing is doing it.

I’m sorry, I tried. I just couldn’t stay with it. Found myself speed reading, skimming. It didn’t help. You need a ruthless editor. The story has good bones. But it is an 800 pound obese monster. I’ve given up. You get 5 stars for concept, 1 for execution. That makes 3.

Gary committed the cardinal sin: he put his wife on a pedestal.

He treated Peggy like a Queen, his entire life revolved around Peggy and so she treats him like a serf.

Story as old as Mankind tbh

Honestly, much too wordy. Gary is the most talkative man in the planet. He talks and talks and seems to have to much faith in Peg. She doesn't deserve hime. Not sure if I can keep reading without intravenous caffeine

Please!!! you are obviously wishing you were ( or are? ) a lawyer in your professional life, as lawyers are famous for trying to entrap an adversary by asking the SAME EXACT QUESTION 30 different ways hoping to elicit a different more incriminating response! this is buiding to a very interesting story but

the dialogue is way to repetitive!

This is good enough for me to keep reading, but I really hate the story point that some humans are so sex-crazed they have no control over having sex with others. The idea that Gary would be okay, "because she can't help herself and not have sex for 6 months" is so much BS. Humans are not animals and absolutely can choose not to be having sex. So, a major plot point in this story seems wildly irrational. Seems like the author is setting this up to be okay for the wife to cheat.

Could you add more words this tripe, ….. please. …. It’s not nearly long enough. more, more, more….

How on earth can you write a story like this that is so repetitive? Redundant? Don’t your fingers get tired typing? So Peggy hasn’t guessed it yet that the Doctors are using her as a guinea pig for their new drug….

Peg does put her career before her marriage. EOM. Gary needs to grow a pair and divorce her. No point in playing second fiddle, either to another guy or her career. But he is so pussy whipped he’d never do that. So he’s willing to sacrifice just about all for her career. Would she do the same for Gary? Nope.

Took a look at the writers biography and saw that there was no answer to what gender they are or that they think they are. This doesn't surprise me as this writer is so confused. If it was a man I would ask him for his mancard. Because nobody on this website has ever written a bigger piece of s***Cock hold as the m c in this story. News flash to the writer and I'll use simpleton when emails out there, No one can truly make you happy but yourself. You have to trust in yourself. Above all, others because every human being out there will at 1 time or another. 41 reason or another they will betray you and let you down hard..

Wtf...you really like hearing yourself repeat the same things over and over and over...damn

-Get over yourself and get on with the story or get to the point; 1 time and be done.

-Would be a good story if shorter!