All Comments on 'Stay with Momma'

Continue their story make babies

Needs work. The dialogue and progress didn't seem natural, but was stilted and forced. Almost stopped reading at "...which would especially consists ..."

can't wait for the story were he impregnated her!

It was a little to short and to little teasing from mother side.

This was poorly written and lacks content. To hurried and just ridiculously silly.

Felt like there wasn't enough tease or build up. Would have liked it to be a little longer. Great plot and story though, hope you continue more parts! Cheers

Kind of a nothingburger, really. No drama, no reluctance, no real appreciation for the taboo making a normal physical far more steamy than it would otherwise be, etc. More like reading the box scores in the paper, as far as interest or eroticism goes.

If they're not going to stay there then she doesn't need to get the bc pills

How old are you? 12?

Tense irregularities: "...which would consists of....

"... as they walked over to the end of their day"

Throughout this essay are words and phrases inconsistent with the balance of the story. It is almost as if someone has provided phrases and challenged you to incorporate them in your tale. Sorry, FAILURE !

Try writing what is comfortable to/for YOU. Inor pirate that which is comfortable and familiar to you.

Your tale is intetesting, almost well don, save for sections as itemized above. These are not alone. Proof Reading is essential and an editor might encourage you to re-work some sections to better reflect the writer you are, not the writer you are trying to be.

From this, many of us will realize your potential and encourage you to create more reading for our enjoyment.

The length was ideal as comfortablyou lengthed stories don'the tire the reader while building an interest for more, different, changed scene offerings that follow.

Hair down to her ankles? WTH?

again, sorry if the story's short. i have made note about this before that i acknowledge my stories being short