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- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 3 years agoI am not sure if English is your native language but it is clear in your writing that it is not your strong suit. I think you have the potential for a great story. However, you need to fix your grammar, spelling errors, and have someone else read it for continuity errors. I didn't make it past the first page before giving up.
Anonymousover 3 years agoafter the first couple of pages. No character, no dialogue, no plot, nothing but fucking. The first times were "educational," at least if you fantasize about sluts: but after that every fuck sounded alike. In short, this story is OK, I guess, for a wank-fest but absolutely a waste of time for any other purpose.
Anonymousover 3 years agoWhatever translation program you’ve used, go back and start over. Your writing is so Disorganized and idiotic I didn’t finish the first page. I’m only leaving this review as a courtesy to you to improve your writing and editing skills. This is wholly unreadable.
