Still Lost in Space Ch. 03

The Major whimpered as his little guy stayed asleep.

"You're making this harder than it should be, sub. Oh, and I so wanted to give us each a reward," she said, bringing down the cat-of-nine-tails down hard on his side.

* * * In Ensign Weston's quarters * * *

"Julia, you look so young. Are they making Ensigns out of school kids now?" asked Will as he sat on he bunk, listening to the sound of the sonic shower coming from the head.

"No I'm twenty three years old. I graduated the Academy a year ago. I know I look young. Some guys I go out with want me to play act like I'm fourteen and dress in high school uniforms," she replied, shouting over the sound of the shower and through the closed door.

Will swallowed hard. He knew exactly what she was talking about because he'd had the same thought a few moments before. He'd missed out on dating while growing up on the Jupiter. His memories of a first kiss or first successful attempt at second base were just fairy tales conjured up in his mind.

"Do you like that I look younger than I am?" Julia asked through the door.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do," Will replied.

The sound of the shower ceased and she said, "That's good. I don't have much to offer up top, but that just adds to the illusion."

Will chuckled at the thought and looked at her dresser and small desk. Both were covered with small pink baubles and figurines. One was furry and it moved. "Oh shit! You've got a furry pink rat in here!"

"Oh, that's just my pet Tribble. Whatever you do, don't feed it!"

'No problem there,' Will thought.

"You can pet it if you want. They like that."

Will reached out and touched the thing. It was warm and it quivered as his hands passed over the fur. Throwing caution to the wind, he picked it up and held it in his hand as he petted it. It trilled with pleasure with the attention it was receiving.

"I think it likes me," he said.

"Of course it does, it wouldn't harm a hair on your head. Their love is the only love that money can buy."

Will gave that some thought. "A dog will do the same thing."

"But a Tribble has no teeth. It can't bite the hand that feeds it and it won't run away."

Will turned it over and inspected it closely, looking for its mouth. In return, the Tribble trilled louder and pushed its body into Will's cheek, tickling him.

"It is cute, I'll grant you that," he said, rubbing the little fur ball till it's trilling was nearly constant.

There was a knock on the head door. Will looked at the entrance door and opened it. There wasn't anyone there. As the door whooshed shut there was another knock on the head door. Not knowing if something was wrong, Will called through the door. "Julia, are you okay?"

There was another knock on the head door. Will reached over and pushed the override and the door opened.

There stood Julia in a Girl Scout uniform complete with a sash and merit badges. She wore a bonnet and had twin blonde braids cascading down to her hips tied at the ends with brown ribbon. She was carrying a box and an order form.

A younger singsong voice came from her lips. "Hi mister, my name's Candy, wanna buy some Girl Scout cookies?"

* * * Outside Ensign Weston's quarters * * *

Kirk, still holding the bottle of hooch, checked his breath one more time then pressed the chime. There was no response. He pressed the chime again and waited. When there was no response the second time he headed over to the hall intercom and pressed the button.

"Computer," said the Captain.

"Working," came the reply.

"Tell me the whereabouts of Ensign...Ensign..."

"Would you like me to give you a list of all the Ensigns serving onboard?"

Kirk sighed. He couldn't remember her last name. He couldn't remember her first name either. That would have narrowed the search. "Okay computer, start reciting..."

"Working...Adams, Addams, Bartlet, Berringer..."

* * * A few minutes later... * * *

"...Whatley...Weston..."

"Computer stop. That's it! Weston. Tell me her whereabouts on the ship."

"Working..."

Kirk looked up and down the hallway but no one was around. He uncorked the bottle and took a big swig of Scotty's hooch. "Well computer?"

"State the nature of your query..."

"I just did! I need to know where Ensign...Ensign..."

"Would you like me to give you a list of all the Ensigns serving onboard?"

Kirk took another swig and leaned against the bulkhead. "Okay, do it once again."

"Working...Adams, Addams, Bartlet, Berringer..."

* * *

"...Will Kirk get an answer to his query? Will Major West need more stitches? Does Spock's makeup match his shoes? Will Judy and Sulu run out of soap? Can Scott and Maureen play their duet without hitting a sour note? Are there wedding bells in store for Smith and the computer? Does Will get the cookies? Will Professor Robinson move from his chair? On which side will McCoy attach Chekov's colostomy bag?"

"Tune in next time when we hear Spock say..."

"My, you are a big boy."

"Affirmative."

"...and we hear Uhura say..."

"Whoops, I guess that was a little too tight. Don't worry, after it's reattached it will be just fine. Just a little smaller."

"UM!"

"...and we hear..."

"...Whatley...Weston..."

"That's it! Stop! Okay now tell me the location of Ensign Weston."

"Working..."

"Well?"

"State the nature of your query..."

*

"This and much more on the forth installment of the Still Lost in Space trilogy titled, So Long and Thanks for All the Hooch."