Strong Shoulders Pt. 04

We'd been there about 30 minutes, just chit chatting when talk turned to what Ben had been up to, and that was when I asked about Amber. Ben's face hardened, and I sensed I'd touched a nerve or something. I was about to speak when the music changed and I recognised the first few bars of 'Purple Rain' by Prince. The lights dimmed, and the stage lights came on casting it in a vivid Purple hue.

I glanced over at Emily, the excitement was evident in her eyes. Ben's face however seemed non-plussed and I guessed he was still wondering how much to tell me about Amber. Several people were now streaming through the door and I have to say, some of them seemed the worse for wear while others were in quite outlandish clothes. From the corner of my eye I saw 2 girls get up on stage -- they were the first.

I held my breath, honestly quite wondering what I was about to observe. At first they both just sort of stood there, dancing of a sort -- to the time of the music. Eventually, one of them began to stroke the other girls face and then -- they kissed. A hand dropped on to the breast of the other girl and massaged it gently. In return, the first girl placed her hand between the second girl's legs and was rubbing vigorously.

My mouth dropped at the sight of such an open and wanton display so early in the night -- but incredibly, life around me continued as normal. People paying nothing more than a brief modicum of attention to the 2 girls. All that is, apart from the pimply faced youth that stood by the curtains -- who was now stood goggle eyed at the 2 girls.

It was Ben that finally broke the stalemate.

"How's Melanie?" he enquired. I knew that Ben and his sister didn't get on that much -- each preferring to go their separate ways. But he still cared about her, and so when I told him she was struggling financially, his face grimaced. We both knew Melanie was useless with money and we had both lent her cash that we knew we were never going to get back.

"She'd have been better off staying with you and saving her money." Offered Emily.

It was a sore point for me, because unbeknown to the other 2 -- Melanie had approached me with a view to returning home. As I'd disclosed earlier -- her old room was now my office and I was loathe to give it up. The only alternative was to give her Ben's room but I knew he wouldn't be happy with that. Truth was, Melanie was in terrible debt and was weeks away from being kicked out. No mother would see her daughter on the street no matter what so I knew at some point I had to tell Ben that I was going to give Mel his room.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Emily gesturing toward the bar. When I looked at her, I realised that she was actually waving at a couple of guys leaning on the bar. I gave her a glare and in typical Emily fashion she shrugged.

"What? I'm just getting to know the locals." She declared with a giggle.

Ben rolled his eyes in amusement, and so I took my chance to broach the subject.

"Ben. Who else here knows we're your Mum and Auntie?" I asked, looking at him directly.

In response, Ben flinched and for a moment I really thought he was going to admit that he had told his friends. But he shrugged and shook his head.

Suddenly Emily piped up "I'll get some more drinks."

Before I could even respond, Emily was up and gone -- straight over to the 2 guys at the bar. I watched as she spoke to both of them and then turned and pointed at our table. Minutes later Emily returned, both guys trotting behind her like little lap dogs carrying the drinks. When they got to the table, they quickly grabbed 2 chairs and sat down. We were about to make the introductions, when I hear Ben sigh loudly.

"Hi Ben." Said the tall one, looking directly at Ben. In response, Ben looked away, avoiding eye contact and quite why I wasn't sure until the tall one explained.

"I'm Steven. I'm Amber's brother." He announced.

Emily looked perplexed but I knew straight away, and understood Ben's awkwardness. It was so much worse than that. There was a high risk, a VERY high risk that Steven would actually work out whom I was. Yet even worse than THAT. How much had Amber told him about me and Ben? It all came flooding back to me, hitting me like a ten ton truck.

"How is Amber?" I managed to stammer and sound reasonably composed.

Steven looked at me. I was struck at just how handsome he was. He was immaculately dressed and very well groomed, I have to say. He was tall as I said and quite well built. His voice was soft, bearing no sign of an accent that would detract from his tone.

"Oh Ben would know better than me." He laughed before adding "I rarely speak to Amber these days. Maybe a couple of months at least." he concluded.

At this, I saw Ben visibly relax and exhale and I guessed there had been something recent that had happened that he had not disclosed yet. I relaxed a little too, and so Steven's next question caught me off guard.

"Sorry, and you are?" he turned first to Emily. Thankfully.

Emily blushed and I knew that whatever story she told, I'd have to go with it and add my own story.

"Oddly enough, I'm Emily -- a work friend of Ben's sister Melanie. We work together." Replied Emily, sounding incredibly believable and confident.

Steven turned to look at me and offered out his hand.

"Hi. I'm Ja... Janice." I corrected, suddenly remembering that Steven might well have heard Amber mention my name. "I work with the 2 of them... for my sins." I added with a giggle and hoping it would disguise my obvious nervousness.

I don't know why I had added that last bit, but as I said it -- Emily burst into a giggle and both Ben and I fixed her with a solid stare of disapproval. If Steven noticed, he didn't say anything -- merely turning to his friend and introducing him as 'Tom'. In truth, I wasn't sure if Steven actually believed us, but he didn't say a word.

With the introductions over Steven began to enquire about our work and I was about to roll out some elaborate bullshit about our work when Emily saved the day.

"Ach. Boring. We're not here to think about work." She announced before turning slightly, and dropping her hand on Steven's knee.

I should explain the seating positions. It was a round table and I was sat with Ben to my right and Emily to my left. Steven positioned himself next to Emily meaning that Tom was almost opposite me, and clearly not happy at the arrangement.

"How many of these parties have you been to, Steven?" asked Emily in that tantalising tone of hers.

"It's our first one." Blurted Tom, obviously trying to get involved in the discussion.

Steven turned and gave Tom a little whack on the arm. "What Tom means is that it's the first time it's been held here -- so it's our first time here but we've attended some others of course."

I don't know if Steven actually thought we were going to believe him, since it was obvious that they were not that savvy. I noticed Emily give his knee a squeeze and Steven began to blush.

"What about you Janice, have you... have you been to this type of party before?" offered Tom tentatively, and I honestly thought he was going to ask me to join him on the stage.

I smiled demurely. "No, oh No not at all. I've led quite a sheltered life I'm afraid." I offered humbly.

This time, both Emily and Ben guffawed loudly and I laughed too, turning and slapping Ben playfully on the arm.

I guess, seeing us all laughing -- except him, Tom got a bit self conscious and stood up saying he needed the toilet. Ben took the opportunity to say he'd fetch some more drinks and I offered to help.

When Ben and I got to the bar, I turned to him. "It's all a bit awkward isn't it?" I asked.

Ben nodded. "It doesn't help that Steven is there and that Auntie Emily is so cock-hungry."

I immediately nudged him, and glared to let him know not to use the term 'Aunt'. But what he was saying was true, Steven's presence was stopping the 3 of us from discussing the events of 'that' weekend. And Emily's attachment to Steven was evident for all to see, so there was not going to be an easy way of separating them.

We got the drinks and then as we turned to go back to the table -- I noticed that Emily and Steven were not there. A quick glance at the stage soon confirmed my worst fears -- they had indeed gone into the Purple Rain. But I also noticed, that thankfully -- Tom had taken his chance to leave the group and was now chatting to a gang of 4 guys near the entrance.

It meant I would have at least a few minutes to talk to Ben. When we got to the table and sat down, I wasted no time.

"You were going to tell me how you and Amber are getting on?" I asked innocently.

Ben took a deep breath. "I... jeez Mum I just don't know anymore." He lamented.

I quickly chided him about calling me 'Mum' and glanced around to make sure we were not overheard. I had sensed there was a problem and I could see that Steven's presence was making things awkward for Ben. Despite Steven's assertion that he had not spoken to Amber in nearly 2 months, I sensed some duplicity.

"She told me she wants me to find another girlfriend." Ben said, sounding generally despondent.

Something didn't sound right, and as usual my first thought was that my son had somehow misunderstood or misconstrued Amber's words.

"Tell me what her exact words were." I asked.

During the car journey I had sat on the fence of whether I wanted Ben and Amber to stay together or split up. Now, I was sure that I wanted them to stay together. Was it for selfish reasons? Well, I'll let you guys decide that.

"She said she understood and appreciated the pressures and temptations that I was under at Uni and that she knew how difficult it was to 'remain faithful' so she would understand if I chose to sleep with other girls." Ben recounted.

"That's not giving you permission you idiot." I bellowed a little too loudly. A couple of people on the other table turned to look and it at least gave me an idea of who was likely to overhear us.

I lowered my voice to just above a whisper. "Have you?" I asked.

Ben blushed, a sure sign that he had. It didn't surprise me to be honest. I know that I'm biased but Ben is really a nice guy, and certainly one that the girls would be attracted to. Not just because of his physical size and looks but he was kind and compassionate.

"It's all so fucking complicated Mu... Janice." Added Ben with a sigh.

"Sometimes guys just need to empty their balls, and that's something that younger girls don't understand. Like... you do, I know. But as soon as I show interest in a girl, she wants to know my entire sexual history. She wants to know my fucking life plans for the next 30 years. Do I want kids... all that sort of stuff." Sighed Ben, sounding very dejected.

I immediately understood his situation. Due to the distance, and due to Amber's shift patterns it was difficult for them to get together. And at Uni -- it was difficult for him to have sex with other girls without offering some sort of commitment. Amber realised it, but how she knew about Ben's sexual activities -- well, I had my own ideas about that.

"You're the only one that..." began Ben and my mind whirled.

"Not here." I called over his voice. But I knew what he was going to say. I was the only one that allowed him a chance for free unfettered sex with no strings and no commitment.

"How many?" I asked. "How many girls have you... been with?"

Ben looked at me, his face a mix of amusement and angst. Amusement at my choice of words I guess and angst because he was admitting to me his lack of loyalty. A part of me felt a pang of jealousy, and I chided myself inwardly for feeling that way. I knew I needed to find a way through this, push my own feelings to the back of my mind and to encourage Ben and Amber to at least come to an understanding.

"Four." Replied Ben tentatively.

My face froze. I had expected one, or two at most. "You fucked 4 other girls?" I exclaimed. Again, it was too loud for my own good and the other table turned round in unison and giggled rather loudly. I suppose they were thinking that perhaps Ben and I were involved in some way, and that Ben was admitting his indiscretions to me.

"I didn't..." began Ben, before lowering his voice after noticing the interest from the other table. "I didn't fuck all of them. I only... well one really. The other three just tried to give me a blow job."

"Tried?" I asked with genuine amusement. Of course, I sort of knew why he used the word 'tried' and I was sure it was to do with his size. My mind rolled back to that first time I saw his cock and even to my experienced mind it was a shock. God knows how a young girl would react when faced with such a monster.

"I guess they struggled to..." I began, stifling a giggle.

"Yes." Interrupted Ben. "Two of them got half in, the other one started gagging after just putting the tip in." he lamented.

"And the girl you fucked?" I asked, sounding a little more excited than I had any right to be.

Ben was about to tell me when Emily and Steven returned from the Stage. Emily had a stupid grin on her face, and I knew the look well.

"You guys OK?" asked Emily, sitting down and then taking a long slow draught form her bottle of beer.

Steven's face was a picture. The look of someone that had found a twenty pound note and lost a tenner.

The conversation was a little subdued after that. Both Ben and I frustrated at not being able to finish our chat, and Emily and Steven obviously keen to go elsewhere for some more fun.

"I need the loo." I announced, before adding "Come on Emily." In a tone that conveyed that it wasn't a request.

Emily giggled in response, knowing that a reprimand was on the way and caring little about it. When we got to the toilets, I remembered they were unisex, so just before we went in -- I pulled her to the side.

"What the fuck do you think you're playing at Emily? That's Amber brother." I hissed angrily.

Emily shrugged in that carefree 'so what' attitude she usually had. "So?" she replied simply.

I was a little angry with her, but moreover I was disappointed that she was not accepting the gravity of the situation.

"Christ Em. It complicates things. All the stuff you now know about me and..." I paused, aware that people were to near to use his name.

"All the stuff you know about me and 'you know who'... what if you accidentally tell Steven and it gets back to Amber." I hissed.

Again Emily shrugged light-heartedly. "I won't and it won't. And after tonight I don't suppose I'll see him again." she concluded sounding quite matter of fact.

I was still feeling annoyed with her, she still wasn't seeing how it could get back to Amber and the problems that would then cause. I was about to detail to Emily just how easy it would be for Steven to find out. That it would only take one slip of the tongue for everything to blow up, when Emily interrupted me.

"YOLO." She announced before adding "C'mon Sis... liven up."

It was exactly the sort of outburst I feared. Maybe it was the alcohol or Emily's way of showing me there was nothing to worry about. But it had quite the opposite effect. I grabbed her by the lapels and dragged her away to a more quiet area.

"You see? That's what I'm talking about. You have a few drinks and all of a sudden you can't keep your mouth shut. You just called me your sister." I accused.

Emily smiled wanly but said nothing. I was about to say more when a strange voice cut through my thoughts.

"Ladies, I believe you're next for the toilets." Announced a young lad, nodding at the entrance.

I put my emotions on hold as first Emily, then I got to the cubicles. The toilets were busy and crowded and I barely had a chance to give Emily anything more than a few dirty looks as we both washed our hands and touched up our make-up.

When we got back to the table, neither Ben nor Steven were around and they were not at the bar. I took the opportunity to drill home my annoyance with Emily's actions.

"Of all the guys you could have copped off with -- you had to take him. You're just a cock hungry slut" I said angrily.

I was about to say more when Emily stunned me with her response.

"Oh fuck off 'Janice'." She emphasised my false name deliberately. "You're just fucking jealous because I'm going to get laid tonight and you're not." She wailed, before adding yet more vitriol.

"You know what? You're just a sad old hag that can't get any action so has to look closer to home..." she spat.

It was clear Emily was more than a little drunk. Even when drunk she would never have been so insulting before, so I guessed I'd touched a nerve. More worrying was her statement about 'closer to home'. I could sense it was all going to kick off between the 2 of us when thankfully Steven returned carrying a tray of drinks -- which included several shot glasses full of some colourful liquid that I could only guess at. Emily didn't even let him sit down, instead she glared at me and then announced her intention.

"Come on Ste, I'll give you a blowjob round that back." She said indignantly, grabbing Steven's arm and leading him out.

Alone at the table, and now in quite an emotional state -- I felt the tears begin to well up. Was that what I really was? Was that what it was all about? My inability to get a man and my desire for cock, the easiest cock I could get -- which just so happened to be my son's? It hit me like a sledgehammer. Is that why I've not been able to move on? After fucking Ben, there had not been another guy and in truth, I had not made much of an effort to even find another guy. My son's cock was always there, and I knew Ben was always willing. Fuck, I didn't even have to try, did I? I knew his cock was there for me 'on demand' if I wanted it.

Horrified with revelation, I grabbed a shot glass and downed it. It tasted of Raspberries or Strawberries but I really didn't care. I took a huge draught of beer to dull the sweetness of the shot and then picked up a blue shot glass, and downed it. I have no idea what that flavour was, it was all washing into one taste in my mouth now.

I sat there mulling my own desperation and the accusation that my own sister had just thrown at me. I was so aware that I was the only person sat on their own and I felt very exposed and alone. In my drunken paranoia I could hear the whispers and see the pointing fingers as people pointed at me and said - 'Ah see the desperate middle aged old hag is on her own again.'

I so wanted Ben to return so that I had someone to talk to. Dammit, I'd even talk to Tom if he came back to the table, but neither of them came. I took another shot, and then followed it with another long draft of beer and then a mouthful of Wine. And that's when I saw him -- the pimply faced youth, still stood by the curtains watching. That's when I decided my course of action. I was going to show Emily she was wrong, that I could get a man... well, OK almost a man. The pimply youth was barely 19 I'd say, and about 5ft 7" and 140lb. He had short dark hair and a hint of a moustache. It mattered not, as far as I was concerned the only thing that mattered was that he had a cock.

I took one last draught of Wine and then fixing him with my eyes, I got up and walked toward him slowly. In hindsight and thinking about it now, I must have appeared to anyone watching that I looked like a Cougar stalking its prey -- and I guess, in truth -- that is what I was doing.

When I got close, the youth looked either side nervously as if making sure I was coming after him and not someone stood behind him. When I got to him, I deliberately pressed my body against his and lent in close to ask my questions.

"Hi. What's your name?" I opened with a smile.

The lad immediately went bright red. "Kkkkk.... yle." He stammered. He had a stammer, but that was OK. I needed his cock, not his life story.