Susan's Awakening

The, rather more planned, arrival of Rachel three years after Laura, completed their family. Deep down, Susan had hoped for one of each gender but, regardless, she loved both of the girls to death as did Chris.

Having the girls slowed Susan's career progression a little but, over time, she moved through the ranks and eventually became the youngest Deputy Head the school had ever had, aged just thirty-three. In terms of a career, this felt a journey far enough for Susan. A Head position would have impacted her own and her family time too much and besides, the deputy post meant she still got to teach a few sessions which was what had originally attracted her to the profession.

After a steady start, Chris' career had taken off with him becoming first an associate and eventually, a full partner at Stockwell's. Chris progressed rapidly becoming an indispensable member of the team.

After a long period of speculation, the firm was acquired by a larger, multi-branch practice. Chris could have retired at that point on his share of the proceeds but decided to give it a few more years as his work still motivated him and he regarded a number of his colleagues as close friends.

"What might have been..." thought Susan.

~~~ Endings ~~~

Chris had told Susan of his congenital heart condition soon after they met. Although a number of males on his father's side had succumbed relatively early in life, Chris and his doctors were as confident as they could be that the drugs now available, meant that Chris could expect to live out a normal lifespan notwithstanding buses, lightning strikes or sundry other 'Acts of God' and devilish diseases. Chris barely thought about or mentioned the issue any more, the only reminders being the small white tablets he took each morning and evening and the annual 'MOT' with the cardiology team at the county's main hospital.

A target setting workshop that Susan had scheduled for that morning had been cancelled due to the absence of two key members of staff due to a bug that was doing the rounds.. As a consequence, she was at her office desk catching up on some administration when the call was put through by the school receptionist.

"Hello; is that Mrs Mapleton?" a woman's voice asked in what Susan immediately took to be a foreboding, if sympathetic, tone.

"Yes, this is Susan Mapleton." she replied. "How may I help?"

"Hello Susan, Denise Winterton here, Head of HR at Stockwells. I've some very difficult news, I'm afraid. Is anyone with you?"

The colour drained from Susan's face and, suddenly cold despite the warmth of the day, she replied "No, I'm alone at the moment. It's Chris isn't it? What's happened...?" her voice suddenly cracking to a whisper.

After a pause that felt like a lifetime to Susan, Denise continued. "David became ill around an hour ago. The first aiders did everything they could but were unable to bring him round. The paramedics continued CPR as soon as they arrived before taking him to Saint Georges'. I'm afraid that's all we know at the moment but given how close we are to the hospital; he'll be there by now if you want to call them. Susan, I do hope he's OK; the whole office is in a state of shock. Please call me back when you know how he's doing?"

"Thank you, I will of course" responded Susan though in just the brief time that Denise had been speaking, a heavy feeling of acceptance had started to sweep over her. "He's gone. Chris has gone." Susan mouthed the words but no sound emerged. "Chris has gone." This time the words formed only in Susan's mind; there was no point in her trying to speak them aloud and no one to hear them if she had.

Susan's mind, always so active in its default, multitasking mode, was now a void, a black hole, a book with no pages ... blank ... nothing. She sat perfectly still looking slightly down and to the left at the photograph of Chris and the girls, on the beach on that happier, much happier summer's day.

Susan never got to make the call to the hospital. The ringing tone from her desk phone broke her trance-like state and she snapped back to the here and now.

"Susan Mapleton?" the male voice asked.

"Yes," Susan quietly yet clearly responded.

"David Hopkins here, Chris' consultant at Saint Georges'."

Susan had met David some years ago at one of Chris' annual reviews. Chris' hadn't been able to drive that day due to a twisted ankle resulting from his attempt at, overzealous, animal impressions intended to amuse the guests at Laura' tenth birthday party. Oh how those kids laughed recalled Susan until they realised that the primal noises Chris was making were not part of the act.

David was younger, less experienced back then but Chris had a great rapport with him and trusted his advice and feedback to the letter. With his dark, handsome features and that air of authority that consultants tend to project, Susan immediately warmed to him; in fact the slight fluttering in her abdomen suggested she felt something rather more than that.

David continued, "Susan, I'm aware that Stockwell's have just spoken to you regarding Chris. I just wanted to confirm what our paramedics have told me that the staff and, in particular, the trained first aiders did all they could."

"Please cut to the chase," thought Susan.

"I'm afraid that between their efforts and our own, we've been unable to..." David's words continued but no longer registered with Susan.

"Susan, are you still there? Hello?"

Susan, now hearing again, replied, "Yes, I'm still here."

"I'm so sorry Susan. Please reach out to others straight away. You'll need their support. Our bereavement team is available around the clock if you'd rather talk with someone here, just call the main switchboard."

"All so caring and yet so business-like," thought Susan though she appreciated that staff such as David had to make these calls all the time. She thanked him quietly before hanging up.

And so a long period of numbness began.

~~~ Onwards, Step by Step ~~~

Susan didn't return to work after Chris' death. She had some great colleagues but the role had changed over time with far more administration and box-ticking now rather than the pupil-facing work she enjoyed the most.

Chris had all the bases covered in terms of insurance and investments and with the partnership buy-out and share options it meant that Susan's financial future was secure, whether she chose to return to work or not. It wouldn't, in any case, be too many years until her education pension kicked-in. Even though it wouldn't be fully paid-up, it would still bring in a respectable monthly sum as Susan had always contributed the maximum possible each year - "money for nothing" as Chris used to describe the scheme.

Her day-to-day needs were fairly modest and the girls were now largely self-sufficient from a combination of their own acumen and their work ethic with the additional security afforded by their father's legacy.

The first months after Chris' death passed in something of a blur for Susan. Processes and procedures just seemed to kick in and with Chris having been so on top of things administratively, Susan had less to do in this regard than many, less fortunate, folk. It was a good job too, as Susan had more than enough on just getting herself and her daughters through the grieving process.

As the first anniversary of Chris' passing approached, Susan was beginning to feel a little better though she dreaded the reminder that would come on that particular date. Her running had long since become fast walking which provided much the same benefits particularly on the mental side of things without hammering the knees as much. Despite the regular exercise and healthy diet, parenthood and the passing of the years had rounded Susan's physical edges a little though she still had a good figure and her small breasts showed no signs of sagging despite her rarely wearing a bra since finishing work.

Her closest friends had helped Susan's recovery greatly. They'd seemed to know just how much contact was required, especially in the early months. There'd been weeks when Susan hadn't wanted to speak to anyone except, possibly, her daughters and there were other times when she'd craved company, if only for a coffee and conversation. Her closest friends seemed to judge her needs perfectly.

As the second year progressed, Susan began to emerge more fully. She started helping out in a charity shop, joined an informal walking group and tried Yoga at the local community centre. She quickly realised that Yoga wasn't for her but she enjoyed the charity shop as she got to meet a wider range of people as well as feeling that she was giving something back. Susan loved walking alone as her primary exercise but the group she'd joined offered something different, slower and more social. The group walked locally for the most part but occasionally they went further afield, the twelve or so core members sharing cars to save on the travel costs. The group comprised around two thirds women and one third men. Only one or two members were under fifty years of age with the majority between fifty-five and sixty-five. They joked that Susan was the 'baby' of the group.

A sprightly sixty-one year old, early-retired member, called Jim had lost his wife the year before Chris' death. From the off, Susan got on well with Jim and enjoyed his company though in a purely platonic way. In another time and despite their age difference, she mused; her feelings for Jim may have developed beyond those she felt for him as a friend; but not at that time. It would take a while longer for any feelings of a sexual nature to resurface in Susan. Her warm, gregarious personality was again to the fore, if a little subdued, but the highly-sexed woman she'd blossomed into during her marriage to Chris was still, for now, a stranger to her.

And so the second year rolled-on, much better than the first though not without its challenges which Susan was more and more able to deal with as she edged forward.

~~~ Gardener Luke ~~~

The first year's anniversary cards had felt very much 'in memoriam' but the second ones were different with beautiful scenes and words that Chris would have appreciated. These were about marking and celebrating his life Susan thought. She carefully placed them in her memory box which she returned to its special place in the dresser.

Susan made a coffee and sipped it while leaning against the worktop. She watched the young man raking up the long grass and weeds he'd just strimmed at the far end of the garden. This was the first step in rejuvenating one of the areas that had fallen by the wayside somewhat since Chris' untimely passing.

Chris had loved the garden, as did Susan, but although not overly large, it had proved a bit too much for Susan to manage with everything else she'd had to deal with, these past two years. With the wonderfully fertile South Hams soil and the mild, moist local micro-climate, two seasons of absenteeism had been enough for the garden to now resemble a jungle well at least the furthest third from the house. The wonderful, potted exotica nearer to the house and patio had proved easier to manage, watering being the main requirement through the hotter months.

Luke, the son of a near neighbour, was a focused and industrious young man. Having just completed the second year of a Sports Science degree at a Midlands' university, he was determined to work as much of the summer as possible in order to reduce his, actually quite modest, debt levels. As with many young people, Luke had the future all mapped out and intended his degree to be a step on the road to his ultimate goal being a surf shop, coaching and accommodation business somewhere on the North Devon coast. Much as he loved south Devon, the northern coastline of the county was where it was at as far as he was concerned. The plan was for Luke to bring the sporting/coaching skills while his good friend, Josh, would deliver on the business finance and hospitality aspects where his skills continued to be honed within the family's boutique hotel establishments.

Josh's father had committed to backing the young men's plans but was determined that they put in all the hard yards in achieving their goal - this was to be no easy meal ticket. So while Josh continued to work hard across all aspects of the hotel business, Luke knuckled down to his sports management and coaching studies, once of course, he'd got the first year of student life out of his system.

Luke's fresher's year had involved the usual over indulgence mainly late nights and lots of beer. Other than the occasional spliff, drugs were of no interest to Luke and not just because he'd lost a close friend two years previously as a result of substance abuse. Looking after himself physically was vital if his long-term goals were to be realised.

Luke was popular amongst his peers and, particularly the young women he became acquainted with. All the years spent outdoors and on water meant he always looked lean, healthy and tanned. He loved his surf wear brands and with his long sun-streaked hair tied back in a ponytail he cut a fine figure around the campus just as he had on the beaches of his beloved Devon. Despite his good looks, Luke wasn't vain, being somewhat on the back foot when it came to women and dating. Sometimes, it would take a mate to point out the glaring signs of attraction from some gorgeous 'beach bunny' which Luke had completely missed as he daydreamed about the next big wave.

Early relationships were generally of the 'kiss and fumble' variety but university opened up a whole new world of potential couplings. His campus was renowned for its sports-related degrees hence why Luke had applied to go there as his first preference. What he hadn't reckoned on was the sheer number of highly attractive and toned young women including those on the same course as his own. To add to the distraction, many only considered wearing less revealing clothes once the first frosts had arrived. Of course, Luke was well used to women surfers and paddle boarders in wet and dry suits but the ultra-sheer, Lycra kit worn by these sporty students left absolutely zero to the imagination. At times, it felt as if the whole campus was crackling from an excess of hormones and sexual tension.

"It's hard... but someone has to do it," Luke often thought to himself with a grin.

Luke had 'gone all the way' with a girl from his social circle just before leaving for university but was still sexually inexperienced when he arrived in the Midlands. His hedonistic first year certainly changed that!

~~~ When you've gotta go! ~~~

Luke needed to pee and soon!

He was used to keeping himself hydrated from his sporting activities and was frequently reminded how important this was in his studies. This morning, he may have just overdone the water intake, but in his defence, the day was hot and the gardening work, physical.

He knew Mrs Mapleton would have been fine with him using the loo, but with the state he was in from the strimming with seeds, sticky buds and chaff covering him from baseball cap to trainers; Luke was concerned he'd leave a trail of debris in what was a beautifully kept house.

None of the neighbours' properties overlooked Susan's rear garden and Luke judged that the rose arches half-way down the plot provided adequate screening from the house itself especially as the vertical blinds to most windows were fully closed to the sun or almost so in the case of the kitchen.

He strode quickly to the corner of the garden where Beech hedge met post and rail fence beyond which were open pastures which appeared to stretch to the distant sea though, in reality, there were other settlements in the middle distance hidden in the rolling terrain so characteristic of the area. With his back to the house and the deep blue sea to the fore, twinkling from countless rays of sunlight, Luke quickly unbuckled his belt, undid the top button and slid down the zip of his jeans after which he lowered them to his knees. His black "Wave Rider" boxer briefs quickly followed. These were fly-less by design as Luke had never been able to handle the small gaps through which some underwear manufacturers expected you to navigate, at least in time to avoid peeing down the inside of your leg. Holding his penis in his right hand, Luke aimed the forceful stream between the top and middle rails of the fence thus adding valuable nutrients to the pasture beyond.

After Luke had released what must have been almost a pint of straw coloured urine, he clenched and released his pubic muscles to encourage any remaining pee to travel the, not insignificant, length of his urethra. Squeezing his penis at the same time also helped to ensure any in-pant drips were kept to a minimum.

The feeling of relief was palpable and with the powerful sun warming his exposed genitals, Luke was suddenly lost in the moment. So used to the 'free and easy' attitudes at home, he thought nothing of it as he turned away from the brightness to more easily pull up his pants and jeans. "Oops!" Luke thought as he buckled up and passed the loose end of the leather belt through the appropriate loop. He quickly scanned the few parts of Susan's house he could make out through the climbing roses. Back at ease, assured that the coast was clear, Luke cheerily returned to his raking up and was well on his way to another barrow load in no time.

On that calmest of summer days, a light breeze suddenly formed and swept in off the sea causing some of the upstairs window blinds to tremble and sway slightly, their thin ratchet chains chattering against the uPVC frames. At the same time a few vanes of the kitchen window blind also swayed slightly but, with this window fully closed against the summer sun, this wasn't down to the breeze. Luke worked on oblivious.

~~~ Stirrings ~~~

Susan rinsed her coffee mug and placed it on the drainer before resuming her, almost meditative, watch over her beloved garden. It was quiet in the kitchen with the back door and windows closed against the summer sun. Susan knew that, had they been open, the sound of house martins calling overhead would have filled the air. She felt blessed that they chose her roof's eaves as their home each year.

Her gaze returned to Luke who continued to rake, occasionally bending to remove a stubborn weed he'd spotted now that the grass had been strimmed to a more manageable height.

Susan had always liked Luke as she had his whole family. Despite her, now diminished, religious tendencies, Susan was very much a free thinker, with a keen interest in society, politics and alternative lifestyles. She'd known Luke's mother for many years and, in Grace, had found something of a kindred spirit. They sometimes met up for coffee and to browse the bookshops and galleries in Totnes, somewhere Susan and Chris had considered when looking for properties all those years ago. It was a close call but the small village they eventually chose just edged it on account of the location's tranquillity.

"What a change," Susan thought. "From a boy to a man in just a couple of years." Even from that distance and with her view impeded by the climbing roses, Susan found herself admiring the lean, handsome young man so proficiently restoring the lower section of her garden back to something resembling 'good order'.

Suddenly, Luke downed tools and strode quickly to the far corner of the garden. She smiled in the knowledge that it was likely to mean only one thing being well versed in such matters from her walking, both with the group and alone. A voice inside told her to avert her gaze as Luke, just slightly obscured now by the plants, lowered his jeans and then his underwear but Susan didn't look away. Instead, she reached forward and eased the almost closed vanes of the blind apart to see more clearly. She admired his taut buttocks and lean but muscular upper thighs as he relieved himself for what seemed like an age.