by DawgStories
I am very much intrigued. Can't wait to see where this is going. Thanks for your effort and please give us more.
max052
I think it's up to you how you break a story into chapters, so making the cut here is fine. I am certainly looking forward to reading more based on the agreement that was set up. The "half weight" idea should get really interesting.
... but you should have extended the story to, maybe, that first evening at home. I like the potential of this tale but please get an editor. Spelling is important: mistakes can be such a turn-off and you simply cannot rely on your WP spell checker.