Sylvia’s Story

"Shut up!" she threw back. She put her head in her hands and chuckled. "I still can't believe that happened. Its so embarrassing."

"I can almost guarantee that he's jerked off thinking about you." I threw it out there. It was the truth and she knew it.

"Don't joke about that!" Amanda yelped. She looked kind of angry and shocked. I decided to take a different tact. I wasn't going to tease, I would just confess. She was my best friend after all. I needed to talk to someone.

"I'm not joking," I told her. I made sure to make eye contact with her to let her know I wasn't joking. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"Since David came back home from school, I've noticed that my panties have been going missing from my dirty clothes." I looked down. Just saying these words out loud was making me question myself and feel very embarrassed. Am I crazy?

"What? I don't understand.." she said.

"He's taking my used panties and using them to jerk off." I answered sheepishly.

"Using them how?"

"I assume he's.. sniffing them. They are used." I said, embarrassed. "That's not all, though. I was confused about it, so I went on his computer and snooped a little bit."

"Oh God. That's not a good idea," my friend said. "You know he's looking at porn. Why do you want to see that?" She was starting to seem agitated and I wondered how much more I should say.

"Amanda.." I looked her dead in the eyes. "He looks at incest stuff. Mother and son. Like, exclusively. The only thing he's getting off to. Well, that and my used panties."

"Oh my God. I can't believe there is porn like that."

"Seriously? There's a lot of stuff like that. A ton. He goes to these forums where people talk about seducing their moms or seducing their sons. I don't know if its all fake or what, but there is a lot of it out there."

"See?" she said. "Nothing good can come from looking at a teenager's internet history. What are you going to do?"

"I'm not gonna say anything to him. How can I? I can't do anything." This wasn't going the way I wanted it to. Amanda didn't seem excited, she didn't seem intrigued. She seemed concerned. I was really starting to question myself. What was I thinking? What kind of mother am I? I was actually considering having sex with my own son. I came over here thinking I'm gonna get her to fuck her son too? I was feeling seriously ashamed. "Its fucking with my head, Amanda."

"I can imagine," she said. "Are you going to hide your panties so he can't take them?"

"No," I said. "And the fucked up thing..." I stopped. I felt like I needed to admit at least how much I was struggling with this. I wanted this. I had the most powerful, craziest orgasm of my life the previous night, thinking about David. I was so ashamed of myself but then going back, thinking about the tent in his pajamas as we cuddled on the couch, about his beautiful cock pictures, about the way he talked about me on his post. I knew if and when he came onto me, I was giving in. I felt like a deer trapped in headlights. I was getting turned on again, but saying these things out loud to Amanda was making me so ashamed and fearful. It was a weird feeling.

"Sylvia?" She said, eliciting me to continue.

"Knowing this and seeing him looking at me.." I swallowed. "It makes my panties fucking soaked." I hung my head in shame. I felt strange to be on the verge of crying but also needing so bad to play with my clit. I could see that my labia had engorged and had started lewdly sucking my bikini bottoms up into my wet slit. Embarrassingly, the orange material turned darker and just made it totally obvious that I was getting ridiculously wet again.

"Fuck.." I heard my friend whisper. We stayed silent for a while. I was just staring down, confused. Amanda was looking away.

"I don't know what to do," I finally said, my voice breaking.

"Do you feel safe there?"

"Yes. Its not that.. That's not what I mean." I answered. "Its not him that scares me."

"What do you mean, Syl?"

"Its what I'm feeling. I'm a bad mother," I admitted.

"You're a good mother. You didn't do anything. What are you talking about?" I didn't even know what to say. I stayed quiet. "Syl, I love you, I'm not gonna judge you, you can tell me." She hugged me.

"Amanda," I started crying as I hugged her back. "I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop masturbating over it. I feel like I'm losing my mind." The weight of what was going on was hitting me. I had come there knowing I wanted to have sex with David but now I was filled with uncertainty. I wanted my friend to understand, but she didn't. I wanted approval, validation. I didn't know if she could give that to me.

"Can you do something for me?" I asked her. "Look at Robbie's computer.."

"I can't do that. He keeps it in his room. There's probably passwords."

"Just try."

"I don't want to invade his privacy. There's no reason for me to do that, Syl. Why do you want me to?"

"David's stuff was just up on there. Easy to find, like he wanted me to see it if I looked. And on the forums, people are always suggesting leaving stuff on your computer for your mom to find as a way to test the waters."

"I don't want to test the waters. I don't want to know."

"Okay. I'm sorry," I said, giving up.

"Its okay. But maybe you should talk to someone. And David too."

"Like therapy? I don't know." I didn't want therapy! "I don't think I could do that. It'd be out in the open. I couldn't."

"I'm here for you," Amanda said. "Just relax. You need to set boundaries for David. Don't let him take your underwear and masturbate with it. That's not right. Are you getting it back?"

"Yeah. He puts it back. I can't say anything to him."

"Then keep it away from him."

"Then he'll know I know.."

"Alright. Just don't think about it. He'll be going back to school. Its probably just a phase."

I felt stupid. The panties thing wasn't the point I was trying to get across. He only took my underwear once that I knew about, which was yesterday, following our snuggle session which I conveniently left out. I just dropped it. I was starting to feel like I had made an ass out of myself, and I wanted to leave.

I wrapped my floral sarong around my waist and put on my sunglasses. I gathered up my purse and put on my sandals. Amanda was trying to be a good friend and saying things like, "Don't dwell on it," and "Call me if you need to talk." I thanked her and gave her a hug and kiss goodbye, and tried to act normal. I was embarrassed that I had admitted to my friend that I had masturbated about my son and her reaction was telling me to seek therapy.

As I went out to my car, Robbie was just getting home. We passed each other and said hello, as I looked him over from behind my sunglasses. He was a very handsome boy, athletic and confident. But he wasn't like my David. My son was a man; tall, broad shoulders, powerful chest. He had a chiseled jaw and hypnotic green- brown eyes. As I drove home, I mulled over my feelings.

If you saw David and I on the street, holding hands, you wouldn't think anything of it. I looked younger, at least my body did, and he looked older. Robbie and Amanda would look like a boy with his mother. Maybe what was right for David and me wasn't right for everyone. Maybe it wasn't even right for us either, I didn't know. Why was I even considering this?

I figured I was just lonely and starved for sex. I'd taken up marathon masturbation sessions as a way of life before David came home for the summer. I had just gotten triggered by the thought of unconditional love combined with passionate, fulfilling sex and the taboo of doing something secret and forbidden. It was silly.

I can't fuck David. I can't have sex with my son. Sylvia, you crazy bitch, I thought and laughed out loud.

I pulled into my driveway and saw that David was home. I was feeling a little self conscious because I was wearing just a bikini and sarong. I had gotten my hair done, but now it was just pulled up in a loose bun. I didn't have any makeup on and I had been crying a little bit.

As I walked in, I saw David in the kitchen eating some chicken and veggies. He looked like he had just came from the gym.

"Hey Mom," he said.

"Hey baby. How was the city?" I asked as I got myself a bottle of water from the fridge.

"It was fun. We just went to a club and then a few of us crashed at Emily's dad's apartment." He said, then paused. I was kind of in my own head, so I didn't say anything. David continued, "I didn't really drink much. I didn't want to be hungover or anything today."

"I know. I trust you," I said. I walked over and kissed his cheek. I tousled his short, thick hair.

"You got your hair done?" he asked. "It looks lighter."

"Yep," I said, beaming. "I know its up right now, but wait til you see it. The cut is really cute."

"You always look really cute, Mom." He had gotten up and was washing his plate in the sink. I was leaning against the counter, drinking from my water bottle.

"Aww. Thank you. You're looking good too, muscle man," I teased him, but was inwardly embarrassed. That was such a 'mom' thing to say. "I gotta go up and shower. You going out again tonight?" I asked.

"No, I think I'm just gonna relax tonight."

"Okay. See you later." I walked up the stairs and went to my bedroom. I wondered if he was looking and I caught myself putting a little extra wiggle in my hips as I walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs to my bedroom.

I saw the laptop on the bed and remembered how I had masturbated the previous night. I opened it and typed in the password. I was greeted by one of the pictures I had stolen from David's computer. My son's dick pics. That I hadn't bothered to even close out of. Before putting it away, I noted that he had his pubic hair trimmed short and neat. I removed the sarong and my bikini and looked at the patch I had above my own sex. I always kept it neat and trimmed as well, and I thought it looked cute. It was comfortable and not much fuss. Sometimes, however, I did like to shave it all off. It just felt clean and nice to be smooth and have my underwear or bikini bottoms against the bare skin. So as I got into the shower, I grabbed my razor and decided to just take it all off.

I tried to keep my head out of the water because I usually tried to go a couple days before washing it after getting any color done. I was happy that it didn't smell too strong. Sometimes after getting my hair done, it was all I could smell for days afterward. I washed the rest of my body, luxuriating in my moisturizing body wash all over my now totally smooth body. I pictured David's dick glistening with my juices as he fucked me. I definitely needed to cum.

That was going to be my plan. I would turn in early and just masturbate all night in my bedroom. I dried myself off and applied some anti-aging moisturizer to my face and lotion to my skin. I walked back into the bedroom naked and picked up my phone which I had left on the bed. I had a couple texts from Amanda just reiterating that she was there for me if I needed to talk.

I had a new text from David.

Would you want to watch another episode of that show tonight? If you're staying in too.

My heart was in my throat. I looked at myself in the mirror. Naked. Shaved and smooth. I sprayed a mist of my perfume and walked into it. I didn't respond right away as I thought about my options.

I was so horny. Part of me wanted to just masturbate. The last time I watched Netflix and cuddled with my son, we both were turned on. Now, I had seen his laptop. I had seen my panties and my shirt in his room. I knew David at the very least fantasized about having sex with me. Whether he would escalate things or not, I didn't know. What I did know was that I was barely in control of my own actions I was so excited. I felt high. I had started applying makeup to my face without even realizing it. Trying to keep it looking natural and like I didn't have makeup, but accentuating my features in just the right ways. I wanted to look pretty for him. The best thing I could have done for myself was to tell him I was tired and I just wanted to turn in early. I was trying to fix my hair as best as I could to make it look cute. I picked up the phone and replied back.

I'm really tired baby. I think I just wanna stay in bed tonight.

As soon as I hit send, I started to have second thoughts. I started typing again.

Would you wanna just watch it in here on my tv??

As soon as I hit send on that one, I was shaking. Did I really just say that? Why? I was trying to think of a way to get out of it when my son texted me back.

Sure. I'm just getting out of the shower too. Just let me know when you're ready.

I saw the "..." that he was typing more. I was going through my underwear drawer looking for the right ones to wear.

If you're too tired, we don't have to do it tonight.

He had given me the out. Did I want to take it? I put on my pink Body by Victoria sheer boyshort panties with floral lace. I turned around and checked my ass in the mirror. Even though they were boyshorts, the bottom part was thong-ish and half of my ass was showing. It looked sexy as hell. Behind the floral patterns, they were see-through as well. You could clearly see my camel-toe by the shape of how tight the material hugged my pussy lips. And you could see through the sheer panties that I was completely shaved. No way I could wear these around my son. Unless..

I looked at his text again.

If you're too tired, we don't have to do it tonight.

We don't have to do it tonight.. Fuck? I knew he didn't mean it that way. But maybe it was a double meaning. I did just invite him to my bedroom.

I discarded the white and blue striped tank top I was going to wear, and got out a black satin cami. It went down a little lower than the tank top. It was sexy, but it looked somehow a little less vulgar and more graceful. This is just what a Mommy wears to sleep, I thought.

I made up the bed and put all the pillows against the headboard so we could sit up. I found my toy underneath one of the pillows and put it back in my underwear drawer. The lamps on either side of my bed had smaller light bulbs underneath the main one in the body of the lamp that kind of mimicked candlelight and gave the room a warm glow. I turned the TV on and brought up Netflix. I tried to steady my breathing. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked good. My nipples were hard. I opened my bedroom door then went back to my bathroom. I texted David.

I'm just going to brush my teeth, baby. You can come in a couple minutes.

I brushed my teeth and just tried to clear my head and calm down. This didn't need to be anything weird. My son and I were allowed to watch a show together and enjoy each others' company. We were allowed to cuddle and be affectionate. Are you allowed to get naked and fuck?

I cleaned my mouth until it tasted minty fresh. A picture formed in my mind of us kissing open-mouthed. I shook it away for a moment until another image flashed in my mind of us french kissing again, this time naked. I pushed it out of my mind even as my heart started reacting. As I walked back into the bedroom, I saw David walking in through the open doorway.

"Hey," he said calmly as I walked towards the bed and picked up the smart TV remote. He was wearing a tight white v-neck t-shirt and maroon pajama pants. I had gotten them for him for Christmas the previous year. They were Ralph Lauren. They were an ultra-soft thin cotton and judging from a quick glance at his bulge, I didn't think he had anything on underneath them.

"Hey," I said back as I handed him the remote. I tried to smile as I made eye contact with him but I was too nervous. I was actually terrified. I must have looked like a deer in headlights. I turned my back to him and crawled onto the bed. I was trying to behave modestly but I knew I probably just gave him a nice look at my ass, and my sheer pink panties.

I got on the far side of the bed and sat up against the headboard. He got next to me in the bed and started clicking through the Netflix menu. I took a sip of water from the Poland Spring on my night table. David found our show and hit play. It was a little awkward because we hadn't even said anything. We were just sitting next to each other. I saw him look at me but I kept my eyes on the TV.

"Your hair looks good, Mom," he said. I looked at my son and made eye contact with him. I smiled.

"Thanks baby."

"You want to cuddle?" he asked as he put his arm around me.

"Yeah," I sighed. I leaned into his shoulder and chest. He smelled so good. Whatever fragrances he used were light and just right. The perfect blend of clean and masculine.

I started feeling more at ease. It wasn't even sexual. I just loved feeling close to my son like this. He was young and strong and his presence just made me feel safe. I nuzzled into his body and entwined our legs together down the length of the bed. I reached my right hand over and just placed it on his strong chest.

This just felt good. It just felt right. Feeling my son's heart beating. Hearing and feeling his soft breathing and trying to time mine to match his. I found my hand lightly grazing his torso. I was in awe of his firm muscles and flat stomach. As my hand crept down, I saw his bulge stirring and starting to fill out. I placed my hand on his thigh. The hand he had around me caressed my arm, then my side.

The show went on. I wasn't paying attention. I didn't really have a concept of how much time was passing. Before I knew it, the credits were playing. I wasn't ready to be done.

"Want to watch another episode, baby?" I squeaked out. He kissed my forehead.

"Sure."

Netflix automatically had the next episode begin, so we didn't have to move. After a while, I felt David starting to stir a little bit. I nuzzled my head against his shoulder. I didn't want him to get up.

"Mom," he said quietly. "I'm starting to feel warm." It was warm. I was feeling warm too. "Do you mind if I take off my shirt?"

"No," I whispered, "that's okay." I picked myself up and backed off of him a little. I reached down and grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt and helped him take it off. He looked amazing. He reached back around me and I came back into our cuddle, now feeling his warm skin against my face. I brought my hand back up and I just couldn't help rubbing him all over softly and slowly. His arm had got down to my hip and as he slowly caressed me, making my cami ride up and exposing my sheer pink panties.

The show was just background noise, the only thing in my world was our breathing, our hearts beating. When I opened my eyes again, I saw my son's dick had become fully erect, tenting his thin pajamas. He definitely wasn't wearing anything under them because as I looked, I could see a dark spot forming on the tip of his penis, leaking precum.

I had always loved the taste of precum. The light saltiness and the texture of it on my tongue and lips as I explored a hard, aroused cock with my mouth. I hadn't felt or tasted that in a long time. The one in front of me now was probably the most beautiful and most perfect of all the cocks I would ever see. I knew it would taste the best.

I must have been just obviously gawking at the tent in my son's pajamas, because he started talking again.

"I'm sorry, Mom." He said it so calmly and confidently that he didn't really sound sorry at all. "I hope that its not making you uncomfortable." He caressed my side with his hand and turned his head to smell and kiss my head.

"No, baby," I said softly as I shook my head slowly from side to side, pressing it against him so he could feel it. I pressed my hand firmly on his abs, inches from his hard penis. "You're a nineteen year old boy," I said and I lifted my head off of him so I could look at his face. "Its natural. You don't need to be embarrassed with me. I'm your mom."