All Comments on 'Tales from the Natural Order Pt. 05'

This is an erotic story, and I thank you for sharing it, but the "action" part is a little light in this chapter. I get the buildup and anticipation part obviously, but being gifted to anybody, most especially somebody you want to call "master" is just a bit out there, especially with your kids watching; the term actually makes me cringe. I don't let my kids ever see me being naughty (it sets a bad example) and respect from the kids and other family members in this kind of future is all but impossible, for both husband and wife, assuming they stay that way. I also think this story could be told without the whole black/white thing, talking a wife, or a husband into dating outside of marriage is pretty hot and kinky all by itself, without the ethnic component.

What's in this for Raoul; does he just want a compliant hot sex partner, and a cuck to quasi humiliate for entertainment purposes, this therefore some kind of white guilt/racial justice thing? Or does he want to be "daddy" to the kids too, really replacing David, as in David will soon be the maid/butler/nanny/fluffer/ former two-time sperm donor only in their new family unit? If Raoul has some wealth, one might expect that he has some education and class too, and high-minded people generally like to grow a family and build a long-lasting future with somebody.

If, however, everybody all collectively agrees that David is unnecessary, including David obviously, then maybe he should just press on and leave the two lovers to themselves, maybe seeing his kids once in a while if he can gain some visiting rights in court somehow.

If I might make a humble suggestion, Raoul feels a little like a "stock" boogieman type of character here, and seeing how he is a rather big part of the story I'd love to learn what makes him tick, what his plans and motivations are, other than ruining a so-so marriage with kids involved. If it's just to bed a hot white mommy because he can I'd be disappointed though, just sayin.

Thank you for sharing, this is an interesting story for me to write such a long comment, Jackie.

1 star. Why is she still married to a man she doesn’t love. Or respect. What will it do to the kids to see their father being treated like a piece of shit while their mother is obviously in love with another man.

You want to fuck up your life, go ahead; but you want to know what it’s like for kids to see their entire world in turmoil, watch what happens when they discover their dads lifeless body as he blows his brains out across the living room.

It’ll be better than the alternative where dear old dad murders them first because he is reduced to a shell of himself.

Thats what happens when you emasculate a father and take away everything he has. It’s not erotic, it’s not loving, it’s not a happy ending for anyone:

More please.

what a bullshit story. Does this ever happen in real? Why are we having such crappy imaginations.

Why so many negative reviews for a good story told from the author's imagination. Even if it doesn't fit some readers' logic or social understanding, it's a well-written story with built-in suspense for each episode.

It's a good interracial fantasy story (filed under this heading) that has the merit of playing out like a movie (or other works found on the internet) and we don't expect it to be a real story or an autobiography of the author.

Congratulations, continue to make us dream / fantasize ... and quick, quick ... do not wait too long to tell us the rest of their adventure

So far so good. How soon before her lover wants a baby. Now that would really mark ownership.

Awesome story. I hope next chapter will be really explosive. Susan and Raoul deserve it.

Five stars all the way so far.

Ignore the negative comments.

A story of seduction, dominance, a little humiliation, and then acceptance by a cuckold is far sexier than a couple page description of fucking. As someone who has enjoyed the seduction of women, especially those who were wives or girlfriends of coworkers or friends, this brings back fond memories.

Derek, you are british?

I see Charles, Andrew and Boris in you.

Not William and Harry.

Hi Derek,

Also wanted to let you know, that I love your story so far. I know the rating goes down, as it is quite slow-paced but I got to admit that your description of emotions, feelings of dominance, humiliation, and acceptance of the husband's submission is fantastic.

I encourage you to keep writing and make the lovers meet soon.

Outstanding work and really well paced. Looking forward to the next chapter which is probably the right stage for the action to commence. I like the idea that Sue is treating this as a fling on holiday rather than the start of a massive lifestyle change.

Continues to be one of the best stories I've read recently. I like the pacing, though I do think there could be a bit more friction in the story-between David and Susan-a bit more reluctance on David's part-I am guessing that resistance to the Natural Order would be...natural (and it would be hot watching Raul overpower that resistance. I like that David and Susan's children are a topic of concern. If you want to present a realistic vision of how the "Natural Order" would transform current marriages, what happens with children has to be considered. Thanks for a great story!

Great chapter; my wife and I really enjoyed it! We really liked the part where the husband helped groom and dress the wife for her date with a black man.

My wife especially liked the part where the soon to be cuckolded husband helped her into her panties and then kissed her mons pubis. She wisely redirected his head so that he kissed her pussy - as if he were giving his blessing to her upcoming infidelity. Very hot! I always do that for my wife.

Also, my wife has me perform cunnilingus on her before a date. I edge her for 20 minutes but have to make sure not to cause her to orgasm. By doing this she is a revved up and is a real fuck bunny for her date which, is usually a BBC.

We are loving this story series. We wish all the white couples in America could read this and take it to heart. Every white wife in the country should be giving it up for black men, if they did it would solve so many intractable social problems.

Every white bride should be bred black on her wedding night. And that should be taught to all white couples during pre-marriage counseling.

A young white couple should receive a free, new car if they are willing to have the white groom get a vasectomy before marriage.

Or, they should receive enough money for a downpayment on a house if he is willing be become a full eunuch.

Then the white wife can breed black as much as she wants!

Great story!