All Comments on 'Teddy and the Lamp Pt. 01'

Please continue on great begining.

Excellent and creative story. Love the world building and rule creation.

One thing I'm a little confused by. You said one type was for peace, creating a sense of trust and friendship, one for lust, one for wisdom. You said the king only grabbed the lust band as the tribe was attacked. But the 'low setting' seems to perform the same basic function of the peace crystals. So does that mean he has both?

Anyway, looking forward to more.

...good plotting...

But you need an editor - several places i hit wrong words that were obviously a result of proofreading-by-spellcheck.

"Dew knot trussed spill chick two ketch awl miss steaks"

Another thing an editor would help with was the way that the story switches from past to present tense and back again.

But story-wise and sex-wise, it's a Pretty Damned Good Story.

it dawned on me that the don donned a headpiece

Interesting, but many editorial issues. I see someone commented on the don homonym error, but the 1st page has several homonym errors:

don is not the same as dawn, nor is donned the same as dawned

peak is not the same as pique

ruffing is not the same as roughing

Although not homonyms:

defiantly is not the same as definitely,

"accustom too" should be "accustomed to"

Also the Yucatan is not part of South America. You can say Central America, or even North America, although the latter is not as common.

first page was boring

Entertaining story...