All Comments on 'Test subject'

I liked it, a good twist could have been the she used the device on the General. Just a thought.

I like it so much cause it remind me when I was mind control by mr ed at the adult bookstore arcade

Good, but short. The lack of buildup removes any of the conflict. A does B, and it works out great. Okay. Really? What now? Without the character development the reader can't really empathize with anyone, good or evil.

There's definitely a story here. I'd like to see more about the long-term consequences. They jumped right into human trials and found that it works, but is our sex slave being programmed deeper than they think? Will she find that she can't resist their orders even when not wearing the device? Something destined for the field would require extensive testing to see what long-term consequences there are, and the human brain is a weird thing.

I think it's time she switched the earphones with the General...

Would love to be test subject. There needs to be some field testing. Sure a barracks on base or strip club nearby.

It is okay but needs an editor. A lot of obvious mistakes. For example: "I had too pass many checks", should be: "I had to pass many checks..."

And there are other similar mistakes. Concept is very good and has great potential.

It's a good start, great concept. It could use more emotion, more depth of feeling as it comes across just a bit clinical. You have good potential as a writer, however. I'd like to see more.

Loved it - great idea! You definitely gave me something to enjoy - keep writing!

Well one strange thing. She is the one obeying the commands of the mind control device.

How do they really know she aint faking it ? And just following orders without being force by the device ?

loved it

Oppse did they get switched so she is on top ..have to make shur it works on other people

Well, I guess it could have been worse for her as they could have used the device to make her do a lot more nasty things. The options are vast however the story ends here. Oh, and watch how the word "their" is used.