All Comments on 'That Girl Next Door Ch. 06a'

I am anxiously awaiting the next part ... :)

Well done!

A we’ll researched story. Love the Texas love evident in every chapter. Great characters and plot. Can’t wait for your next chapter. Thanks for your excellent contribution.

" "Honey, you haven't lived until you see Jase and Roe perform 'The Dead Parrot Sketch1' together." Rebecca said. "Roe's Mexican accent is so strong that he can't really do the British accent too well. That in itself is worth the price of admission! Jase does all of the John Cleese lines and Roe does the lines recited by Michael Palin as the shopkeeper. They are hilarious together!"

"Oh, trust me! We know! They do that gag for EVERYBODY! They also do Jake and Elwood Blues. The entire opening to the first Blues Brothers movie right up to the part where they park in front of the orphanage. That one has everyone rolling in the aisles too!"

The three girls laughed at the images that invoked, then they all agreed that they were starting to get a little hungry as well as thirsty too. Everyone that had donated whole blood or plasma had been instructed to drink plenty of healthy fluids like apple juice or orange juice and to eat well after their donations. None of the three girls wanted to part company with the others so together they gathered in the nearly deserted hospital cafeteria for some sustenance. "

Enjoying the story, but seriously, show, don't tell. In parts it's less like reading a story, and more like reading an AAR. "The squad, led by Sergeant Carver, immediately sought cover, and proceeded to return fire...."

Other times it's fine, but I read enough AAR's before I retired. Not interested in reading more, especially when they're admittedly fictional, instead of just "embellished". A good editor might be helpful in noticing when you swap to telling instead of showing. It's definitely simpler to tell, instead of show! Which is why we tend to resort to it. It's more comfortable. But it's not fun to read.

My advice, and worth what you paid for it, I'm sure.

I love this story. It is well written. I love the humor and Easter eggs. please finish it. then give us a new story. Thank you.

Thank You, "rivivingservent" for your kind comments.

If you check my bio, I have several other stories in the works; not all are incest related. In fact, Cold Hands is primarily a Polyamory story without any incest in it.

But if brother/sister incest is all you are interested in, my next release will be Bailey's Brother. It is a straight incest story without any Polyamory or other genres mixed in. I hope to have it ready no later than October of this year. At this time, it is not planned to be released in serial form like this story. But if it becomes too large and unwieldy, then I will split it apart to be released in its entirety over the course of a single week.

Please please PLEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEE I need the rest of the story!! I love it so far and am actually hating that I have to go to another story while waiting ;(

I was writing on Part 6b at the same exact moment that you left your request. Thank you for being a fan.

So far I havent finished the story, but I'm beginning to enjoy it. Hope the next installment comes out soon! 5/5

I learn from your appendix. Wish I knew this when I lived in midland. Robert in Tennessee