All Comments on 'The Adventures Of April Ames Pt. 05'

A few editing issues (wrong name, word, punctuation); still entertaining. Without getting too serious did wonder about April’s wings (other succubus traits?). Did April take Lawrence’s life force? Get that the storyline is focused on April, but thought you could have drawn out/expanded on the sex happening all around — after all a succubus ritual event. Liked it, but did not reach erotic potential.

The reason her stories are so poor in terms of grammar, etc is because she churns them out way too quick. 17 of the current 24 were published in a single month, and 10 of those were in a space of 4 days. Clearly no time went into even punctuation-grammar/syntax review, much less actual content. A shame, really, since a number of the stories would be pretty good if they were only given proper attention.