All Comments on 'The Amazing Frederick'

Your concepts of a lot of money is absolutely laughable. The house you describe him as owning is worth way more than that.

let me make a couple of suggestions. I liked your concept. The #1 rule in creative writing is Show... dont tell. The entire story you TOLD us what was going on. You used very little descriptive words. A small for instance is that you never once described much about the women or the clothes they were wearing. The only time you did was about the main Character. People get aroused at imagining what you are talking about. Describing a beautiful, sexy woman is far more than their hair color and Bra size. Im not trying to be mean, im trying to help you. As I said, I liked your concept very well. In addition for everything that you wanted to happen in your story it was WAY too short. You could very well have made a seperate chapter for EACH woman your protagonist took for himself. If I took a sexy women to Vegas and fucked her with my friend She would be wearing thigh high stockings, black 4in heels a sexy black cocktail dress and mouth mouth watering lingerie. If a MAN has a sexy, beautiful woman on his arm... not only does he enjoy showing her off... she usually enjoys being shown off.

Best of luck. Hope this helps.

Excellent story! 5 BIG ASS FLAMING STARS!