All Comments on 'The Boat the Brat and the Beast Ch. 02'

I rarely react to punctuation, spelling, word choice or similar errors, because, you know, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I'll just skip a story if these things make it unreadable. But you've given us one I've never seen before: "the zebra grabbed Baily by the waits". I've seen "waist" written as "waste" many times but "waits" is entirely new. The word you want IS "waist":

noun

1. The part of the human trunk between the bottom of the rib cage and the pelvis.

2. The narrow part of the abdomen of an insect.

3. The part of a garment that encircles the waist of the body.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition (as quoted by DuckDuckGo).

In your bio you ask for help to improve as a writer. The best way to learn to write is to READ. Read stuff from before, say, 1980, or newer stuff printed by mainstream publishers (books or magazines, but printed on paper). This can be highbrow stuff or pulps, so long as it is professionally edited and proofread. You needn't examine it technically; just read enough and your writing will naturally improve.

Thank you so much for the honest opinion. And I mean that sincerely. It's great to get any type of feed back. I will be honest, I write lots of my stuff on my phone, while iam on the go. So lots of the time my phone auto corrects a word I spelt correctly, to another word I didn't even wont to use. Haha!

Not to mention that iam dyslexic, so when iam rereading what I wrote, my mind will sometimes makes me think iam seeing the word written correctly. Such is the life of having disabilities. :l

But yea "waits" that's pretty bad :p

I am not usually much into furry stuff, but this had such an interesting premise that I read both parts (though after I came while reading, I must confess, I skimmed through parts of the 2nd installment). Like another commenter I also noticed sole spelling mistakes, even in the main character's name: is it Bailey or Baily? At least we were spared the "knight gown" in this chapter. As a fantasy fan I would also have liked a little worldbuilding: are Baily's parents like lords or merchants? What do his people know about the lands he intended to visit? Still, I would like to read a part 3 if it ever comes out, I wonder if the crew will take him to a "pirate haven" or what will happen. Am awaiting!

I am not usually into furry stuff, but this had such an interesting premise that I read both parts (though since I came while reading this chapter, I have to say, I skimmed through parts of it). As another comment points out the spelling is a bit inconsistent, and this is even for the main character's name: is it Bailey or Baily? At least we were spared the "knight gown" in this instalment. Also as a fantasy fan I would have liked a little more worldbuilding, for example are Bailey's parents nobles or merchants, or is it a more modern culture? What does his people know about the distant lands he wants to explore? I am looking forwards to more chapters, if you have any planned. Will the crew perhaps take him to a "freeport" or pirate haven, or to a desert island?

Sorry, accidentally posted my comment twice

Thank you so much! Its Bailey, i mess up when i write too fast though. Also for the world building, i wanted to take it slow at first so the world seem like a mistory. But eventuly i was going to have them come to port at a place not travled by humans, and many monsterus creatures and powerfully, magical, beings would be discoverd first hand by Baily. and all would be just as entrainced by him as well. I had ideas for forests, swamps, grassy plains, mountins, and ancent ruins. But that all depends on how this story is received. :)

Haha, don't worry about the double comment, I've done it before. :p the site is strange when it comes to posting them.

Your plans/worldbuilding sounds really exciting! Now I am eagerly awaiting part 3!